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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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#21
Vent: I am angry at myself. I just went up to our attick/storage space and got really angry at my husband. He owns SO much JUNK and it takes up almost the whole of an entire room's worth of storage. Then I went to one of our closets, and the whole thing was littered with his belongings, as though a packed bag had exploded on the floor. So I cleaned all that up.
He is a total SLOB, and I am always having to pick up after him. I am SO angry and annoyed at him. I am not in a good frame of mind and all I can feel and hear is my own anger. Why the hell did I marry this man? Because I had said a prayer to God to bring me the man I will marry, and he was the very next man I met, who was telling me he would marry me? YES. Pretty much so. I thought he was the answer to my prayer and dreams. And now? I am venting my anger, mind you, but I don't like how he's treated me over the last several days or week. Telling me that the way I do something is WRONG, that HIS way is the RIGHT WAY, and that I always do everything the WRONG WAY, trying to control everything we do, how we do it and when, and then cutting me down with his so-called jokes???? I am sick of it. And what pisses me off the most is now that I am unemployed, there's absolutely NO way I can move out or that he could move out, or that we could separate and divorce. I cannot afford ANY of that while on unemployment benefits and without a job. And right now, at this very moment in time, I feel like divorcing him. I AM FED UP WITH HIM. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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RoxanneToto, Travelinglady
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guy1111
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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#22
I have one solution:
I am going to perform an energy healing/entity removal on my husband this evening, with help. I am told that he needs to remove a dark entity that is causing problems in our marriage, ie, all the abuse. And PLEASE don't come down on me for my beliefs --- I understand that many people don't know what the heck I am talking about or cannot relate to what I am talking about. I have been channeling for 12 years now, and I have been studying energy for a long time. I have worked with several different Shaman and energy healers, and I have witnessed entity removal from other people and from myself. These dark energies attach themselves to our bodies and our auras and cause problems in a multitude of ways. I removed an entity recently that was causing my eating disorder. My eating disorder has been resolved since then and has not been an issue, when I've been struggling with it for years now and for a solid chunk of my life. It is now no longer a problem. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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guy1111
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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3,619 hugs
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#23
And.... to top it ALL off: my mother sent my husband a nice text on 9/11 to send her condolences for the loss of his brother-- he has not responded to her. She told me she sent him a text last Friday. I am upset all over again because I have to remind him to be polite, courteous and thankful whenever my parents extend themselves and do something nice for him/us. She sent him a happy birthday text in June, and I don't think he replied to that one either.
Wtf? Seriously? I have to prompt him to reply to my MOTHER? HIs mother in law? If this energy healing/entity removal doesn't do the trick, I am going to have to leave him - of course, only once I get a job and when I am back on my feet again financially and once I can save the money. I am really annoyed. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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RoxanneToto
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guy1111
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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#24
WOW -- ok so I just went off on my husband and told him I will leave him if these things do not change. I've reached a breaking point, yet again. And I had to put my foot down, yet again.
There are times when I truly feel in love with him still, when he makes me laugh and when he's super sweet and endearing. But all of these other issues make me cringe and want to leave him..... again. So I will do my energy work with him this eve or as soon as possible. And I will see how that unfolds. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Travelinglady
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divine1966
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#25
He needs individual therapy to learn how to communicate. I worry his habits of passive aggressive jabs will be hard to break if that’s how he always speaks. If he is concerned about drinking (not saying he should but hypothetically) proper way to be to say that he is concerned about day drinking or amount of it or what not. Saying “surprise surprise” is rude and passive aggressive. It’s my pet peeve. Just speak directly what bothers you!
If he spoke like this for 48 years, not sure how he’ll change. My dad speaks like this. My brother and I cannot stand it. My brother always asks “what exactly do you mean” which often results in more jabs and sometimes makes him to back off. I started to always play grey rock because it doesn’t seem to improve when confronted what I used to do. Me and my brother alternate our strategies but luckily we don’t live with him. I just can’t stand this nonsense. |
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*Beth*, Bill3
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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#26
Quote:
I confronted him further on all issues I've brought up on here lately. I told him I WILL leave him IF these things don't improve and change. I have my doubts, but he's willing and is trying to make behavioral changes. We have yet to line up a couples therapist. I don't trust that he would know what to bring to individual therapy without specific guidance from me. I don't want to have to interject into each of his individual therapy sessions. He needs to have me point out each issue for him, and I feel the best avenue for us is through couples therapy, at least to start with. Perhaps after a while he could then attend individual therapy once he is fully aware of all the issues that cause problems in our marriage. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Sep 15, 2020 at 07:15 AM.. |
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Bill3, divine1966, guy1111
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guy1111
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
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#27
I do believe sarcasm is a very dark expression of anger. It cuts like a sharp knife. He can heal from it if he wants. I have, and I feel much more at peace. When others are sarcastic it hardly even registers with me.
I'm sorry you are enduring his anger this way. It's very difficult to pin people down on their sarcasm. |
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Bill3
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divine1966
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#28
I agree with guy. Sarcasm and passive aggressiveness could be sign off a deep seated anger although sometimes it could be a defense mechanism. If he was aware and willing to work in therapy in figuring out why he does and says things and how he can stop, it would be the best
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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#29
Agreed. Right now, I am just so exhausted from trying. I want to give up. I have an escapist mentality and I want to escape. That's how I feel right now.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Bill3
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guy1111
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guy1111
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Location: US
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#30
I hope the spiritual healing ritual goes well! Spirituality is vital to one's health!
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
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#31
Quote:
Spiritual health is definitely vital to one's overall health. I just need to wait for the right time to do this with him -- it will be interesting to see what effects it has. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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guy1111
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Laurielrocks
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Member Since: May 2013
Location: in the darkest place..sometimes
Posts: 59
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#32
I am sorry I didnt reply sooner.. I have been dealing with trying to get my own head straight from a marriage that to me was fantasy... My husband was cheating on e 8 years before we got married,, kept secret till around three four years into marriage.. long story short... She had no idea of my existence.. and when i confronted him he denied it all... that month my mom passed.. I had been taking care of her ... she had 2 cancers that were giving her weeks to live.. so I am dealing with facing her .. having to morphine her and watch the only BF I ever had slowly leave me.. and a husband that ran to NC to check in on her to see if she was OK.... when my mom did die.... he disappeared for a week.. no call no text no email... I had to pick urns and deal with hateful siblings all alone..... my head was so screwed up .. still is . I had bad childhood.. suffered from PTSd Ect.. he knew of.. he made my symptoms return 100x worse.. he has no empathy 0.. I was not emotionally capable to handle what he was doing... he sat and watched me fall apart... and just stepped over me..... I am so sorry you have to deal with this ****.. If I have learned anything.. In the beginning of our relationship I was in therapy for 4 years.... for the benefit to be a better person,, for me... him.. us..... I changed... He didnt life a finger to acknowledge what he did... only tried to make it all like it was my fault or something.. No effort... nor do I ever expect it
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Have Hope
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Prycejosh1987
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Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: UK
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#33
Humans beings are like cars some days they run smoothly and other days they will not. He wont be excited and feel good all the time, if it happens too often, then talk to him about it.
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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#34
Sorry, but you keep making totally irrelevant posts on each of my threads. Are you even reading the threads? My husband is abusive, and I am leaving him.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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divine1966, guy1111
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divine1966
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#35
She talks to him about it and it’s been discussed on each and all of her threads. Yes it happens too often and yes she is discussing it with him
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guy1111, Have Hope
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