Am I horrible person.

deepurplegirl · Sep 15, 2020 at 05:06 PM

My grandma moved in and has dementia. I'm mentally ill. I try to distant myself sometimes because I can't handle it all the time. Basically when I tried to explain this to my mom and stepdad they don't understand. My stepdad blew up, told me I'm being petty, to get a grip and he doesn't want to hear it anymore. I said I was trying to apologize. I said I don't want you to think I'm a horrible person. He said too late. I'm already really hard on myself. I feel like a horrible person. My mom doesn't back me up either.

I'm tired of trying to make them understand.

nicoleflynn · Sep 15, 2020 at 05:52 PM

You are NOT a horrible person. Stop trying to make them understand; they either don't care or don't want to. Protect yourself by not saying much to them.

Buffy01 · Sep 15, 2020 at 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deepurplegirl

My grandma moved in and has dementia. I'm mentally ill. I try to distant myself sometimes because I can't handle it all the time. Basically when I tried to explain this to my mom and stepdad they don't understand. My stepdad blew up, told me I'm being petty, to get a grip and he doesn't want to hear it anymore. I said I was trying to apologize. I said I don't want you to think I'm a horrible person. He said too late. I'm already really hard on myself. I feel like a horrible person. My mom doesn't back me up either.

I'm tired of trying to make them understand.

You are not horrible. This is has more to do with your family than you.

Fuzzybear · Sep 15, 2020 at 06:15 PM

It sounds like your family are not kind to you. You are not a horrible person.

Bill3 · Sep 15, 2020 at 08:05 PM

You are not a horrible person.

I agree with nicoleflynn: do what you need to do for your own mental health with regard to your grandmother, and protect yourself from your stepdad and mother. Don't try to explain or get them to understand or approve, they won't.

You might want to consider the "grey rock" approach, here is one web page about it:

Grey Rock Method: 6 Tips and Techniques

stahrgeyzer · Sep 15, 2020 at 08:34 PM

To be honest you sound like a very nice & understanding person. They blowing up on you and you saying you're trying to apologize is a great quality that I find most people don't have. Please don't be hard on yourself! I wish you the best.

sarahsweets · Sep 16, 2020 at 06:40 AM

Are you supposed to be her caretaker? How old are you? It sounds a bit unfair to me especially if you are suffering from my mental illness and it's difficult.

deepurplegirl · Sep 18, 2020 at 05:51 PM

Thank you everyone! I thought for sure everyone was going to agree with them. I still feel like a horrible person, but it's hard not to when you've been made to feel that way and you suffer from depression.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Are you supposed to be her caretaker? How old are you? It sounds a bit unfair to me especially if you are suffering from my mental illness and it's difficult.

No my mom is supposed to be her caretaker, but they always want me to help her. I'm 40, but am mentally disabled. I get overwhelmed and over stimulated easy. They don't understand and think I'm just being mean. When it's me getting cranky because it's all gets to be too much for me. She has dementia and argues, always complains and gets angry a lot. There are times I just can't handle it. My mom has told me I'm weak and wishes I were normal at different times.

Prycejosh1987 · Nov 14, 2020 at 01:31 PM

You are not horrible because you want time to yourself. Its good to get away from time to time.

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nicoleflynn Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2012 Location: rochester, michigan Posts: 3,111 12 60 hugs given	Sep 15, 2020 at 05:52 PM #2 You are NOT a horrible person. Stop trying to make them understand; they either don't care or don't want to. Protect yourself by not saying much to them.
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Sep 15, 2020 at 06:15 PM #4 It sounds like your family are not kind to you. You are not a horrible person. __________________
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stahrgeyzer Magnate Member Since Feb 2018 Location: southern california Posts: 2,330 6 5,648 hugs given	Sep 15, 2020 at 08:34 PM #6 To be honest you sound like a very nice & understanding person. They blowing up on you and you saying you're trying to apologize is a great quality that I find most people don't have. Please don't be hard on yourself! I wish you the best.
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sarahsweets Threadtastic Postaholic Member Since Dec 2018 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!) 5 192 hugs given	Sep 16, 2020 at 06:40 AM #7 Are you supposed to be her caretaker? How old are you? It sounds a bit unfair to me especially if you are suffering from my mental illness and it's difficult. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society.
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Prycejosh1987 Member Member Since Jul 2020 Location: UK Posts: 368 3	Nov 14, 2020 at 01:31 PM #9 You are not horrible because you want time to yourself. Its good to get away from time to time.
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