advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 10:06 AM
  #1
Recently on FB and a few other online places, I've messaged two or three different people, who have messaged me back. Then the next message I sent, which was full of info to which I would think one would reply, they didn't reply. I am getting sick of this.

I have found this to be very common. I am not talking about on PC to be clear. I am talking about electronic communications in general between people.

In my opinion, it is very rude to not reply or to finish the conversation at least. It leaves the person hanging in mid air and feeling slighted.

I have felt slighted more than a dozen times by these types of communications.

What happened to respect and consideration? I am not impressed.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Bill3, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto, Yzen

advertisement
Yzen
Magnate
 
Yzen's Avatar
Yzen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
5 yr Member
4,766 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 10:52 AM
  #2
I think some people read the message and get busy doing something else and it falls further and further out of their view. It gets forgotten. Of course, that is not an excuse to not reply.

That reminds me of a message I recently sent to blogger about their website having a link that didn't work. The link was to learn about their services, so it was an important link. I also made some comments about their work and asked a question. After I sent the message, the link was corrected within hours but I never got a thank you or a reply.
Yzen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope, RoxanneToto
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 12:57 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzen View Post
I think some people read the message and get busy doing something else and it falls further and further out of their view. It gets forgotten. Of course, that is not an excuse to not reply.

That reminds me of a message I recently sent to blogger about their website having a link that didn't work. The link was to learn about their services, so it was an important link. I also made some comments about their work and asked a question. After I sent the message, the link was corrected within hours but I never got a thank you or a reply.
Thanks @Yzen. I appreciate your thoughts. I hadn't considered that fully, but yes, I suppose you are right that people may often forget there is/was a message to reply to.

That webmaster should have thanked you for your note.

I just am wondering: have electronic communications reduced the necessity of politeness and common courtesy?

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Yzen
 
Thanks for this!
Yzen
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 01:21 PM
  #4
Like also, a recruiter recently contacted me about a high level job. We spoke on the phone for 15 mins or so, then he emailed me the job description. I said I would review it and get back to him. When I did get back to him, I politely turned down the opportunity, thanking him and asking him to please keep me in mind for other opportunities. But he never replied to even acknowledge my message.

Once again, RUDE.

I just am seriously scratching my head over this issue.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Yzen
Magnate
 
Yzen's Avatar
Yzen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
5 yr Member
4,766 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 01:34 PM
  #5
I don't know why a recruiter wouldn't show more courtesy. They are working for both you and the company. You are a potential candidate for more than one job. I bet they don't treat the company that way.
Yzen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 01:37 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzen View Post
I don't know why a recruiter wouldn't show more courtesy. They are working for both you and the company. You are a potential candidate for more than one job. I bet they don't treat the company that way.
Exactly. I've had more than one recruiter be this way, too.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
ArtleyWilkins
Magnate
ArtleyWilkins has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,787
5 yr Member
7 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 03:52 PM
  #7
But you said you weren't interested, which pretty much gave you the last word. Why would they take more time to correspond with you?

It isn't like a verbal conversation. Honestly, I don't need or even really want a reply email from someone that just says thank you. It's just one more email to open up that really serves no purpose, and in the workday when I am opening, reading, and concretely replying to dozens of emails a day, I honestly don't need thank you's clogging up the works. My email is full enough as it is. Electronic correspondence is about taking care of business and moving on - it isn't like an actual phone call or conversation.

I think much electronic communication works that way. It isn't about rudeness - it's about efficiency of time.
ArtleyWilkins is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
lizardlady, Molinit
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 04:06 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
But you said you weren't interested, which pretty much gave you the last word. Why would they take more time to correspond with you?

It isn't like a verbal conversation. Honestly, I don't need or even really want a reply email from someone that just says thank you. It's just one more email to open up that really serves no purpose, and in the workday when I am opening, reading, and concretely replying to dozens of emails a day, I honestly don't need thank you's clogging up the works. My email is full enough as it is. Electronic correspondence is about taking care of business and moving on - it isn't like an actual phone call or conversation.

I think much electronic communication works that way. It isn't about rudeness - it's about efficiency of time.
I wrote more than just a thank you to this recruiter. It would have been courteous and it was expected that he reply, regardless. Clearly, you're missing the entire point of my thread and post. I am talking about common COURTESY. And he could have followed up with "thanks for letting me know, and I will keep you in mind". That would have been the polite thing to say and do. But no, since I refused this job, he moved on and doesn't care to respond because he does not get a commission. And because of his lack of courtesy? I will ignore HIS next email and attempts.

Also, this recruiter was just an example. In my OP, I talked about people not replying in mid conversation as well.

People just don't care to take the time to be polite, respectful and courteous anymore when it comes to electronic communications.

So you've missed the point entirely.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes

Last edited by Have Hope; Sep 18, 2020 at 04:19 PM..
Have Hope is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,304 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 08:03 PM
  #9
I agree that in general people don’t communicate as much now because of electronic communication but I also think people are way more busy.

I am probably guilty of not replying to everything too. I receive such enormous amount of emails, phone calls and texts related to work-at work and at all odd hours after work, those I do have to reply to, but I also get enormous amount of personal communication, and I am not even on social media much.

I likely miss some personal messages or I read them and don’t have time to reply and I might forget. I always think if people don’t reply to me, I’d contact them if it’s important, otherwise I’d not pay attention. People would contact me again if they need me too.

It’s just everything is so fast pace. If I replied to everything to everyone (not meaning close family) I’d have to not ever eat or sleep or do anything I want to do. I’d be glued to the screen responding to people.

And if other people don’t reply I know they have kids and elderly parents and might have migraine that day or simply forget. It’s just reality of crazy fast pace of life.

The only people I truly worry if they don’t reply are my family or best friend who lives alone. I worry they might be sick or something so I’d contact them again. Other people i can manage if they don’t reply. I likely wouldn’t notice if they reply or not to every message

I hear what you are saying but reality dictates how things go

Last edited by divine1966; Sep 18, 2020 at 08:40 PM..
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
ArtleyWilkins
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 18, 2020 at 09:28 PM
  #10
Yeah I suppose people do get busy and forget. I'm not really one of those people. I always remember to get back to someone, no matter what.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,301 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 24, 2020 at 02:09 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
Yeah I suppose people do get busy and forget. I'm not really one of those people. I always remember to get back to someone, no matter what.
I do try to get back to people. If its not a friend, then I might not. I was blocked and removed once when I forgot. I was triggered by their message (nice.. not). Not on pc.

I do think often its the case that people do forget, they get busy unexpectedly. It can feel disrespectful especially if, as in your case, you sent them a lot of info, and maybe in response to their question. But as said above, someone could write again if its important.

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 24, 2020 at 02:28 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I do try to get back to people. If its not a friend, then I might not. I was blocked and removed once when I forgot. I was triggered by their message (nice.. not). Not on pc.

I do think often its the case that people do forget, they get busy unexpectedly. It can feel disrespectful especially if, as in your case, you sent them a lot of info, and maybe in response to their question. But as said above, someone could write again if its important.
I guess everyone's different. Even if it's a stranger on the Internet, I always reply and get back to someone. I feel it's the right and polite thing to do.

And I guess I have trouble comprehending forgetting to get back to someone. I am very on top of my communications and never forget, regardless of how busy I am and regardless of my state of mind. But that's just me.

And yeah.. thanks.. it hurts when you're expecting a reply and don't get one.


__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:40 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.