Really struggling with being assertive - new male neighbor

Thanks. Its just hard sometimes. Not so much my behavior in this instance, but navigating my emotions. But this is what I would tell someone else, too. TY.

Guys who look women up and down tend to be creepy. That's the best-case scenario. His thinking, intentions and history could be darker than that. You Don't Know. What you have going on is a real healthy, self-protective instinct. It kicks in, even before your conscious, rational mind hasn't caught up with dissecting the situation. That's a good thing. It helps keep you safe.

You dislike that your manner toward this guy has not been "consistent " That tells you that you need to make an adjustment in how you interact with people whom you don't know. Be less open. Here's a mental exercise for you: Imagine yourself in a setting that I used to be in. I worked in correctional facilities, where I regularly interacted with "sexual offenders," such as rapists and child molesters. I was generally polite and respectful in my manner toward them . . . and businesslike. Usually, I had no reason to be otherwise. (Most of there characters can act perfectly fine. You wouldn't pick them out of a crowd as disturbed or dangerous.) But I realized they we're showing me what they wanted me to see. In my case, I happened to know the nature of what they were concealing. Imagine, if you had to interact with men like that (as a lawyer, social worker, nurse or guard,) how would you conduct yourself? What mindset would you adopt? People working in an environment like that don't go around feeling irritated and disgusted. They learn to maintain a detached objectivity. You can teach yourself that. You're bright enough.

I think part of the problem goes back to childhood. I think we do children a disservice when we bring them up with too much emphasis on being "nice." I would favor instilling kids with more critical thinking ability.

You shouldnt say things you will regret. You must always think carefully about what you say with other people especially strangers and acquaintances. They may take things out of context and it will be worse for you. Be careful what you say.

That makes good sense but I think in reality there are times when we all say things that can be taken more literally than we intended. I think that's part of life.

I disagree. I think Its OK to make mistakes. That's how we learn and we are not perfect.