[Flowerpower12]

Hello! I am 21 and in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past 1 month and a half. In the few days i keep having panic attacks thinking what if i am going to let this person down, what if i am going to ruin everything, i dont want to break up with him he is the best thing that has happenned to me this year but the thought that there is a possibility to break up because i cant handle relationships is overwhelming. I want to make this work, i have talked about this with him and he said he will give me all the time and all the attention i need in order to overcome this. Why cant i be happy and be in a relationship and be grateful and happy for what i have in the prezent and i worry about what the future will bring us. Please help me i cant sleep and i cant do anything. When i am with him i am calm, i love him but when i am alone i feel extremely bad and anxious and i want to end everything and go in another country where nobody knows me. One of my biggest worries is that i dont want to lose my person ane my identity so i think thats why i am so afraid of being in a relationship. All my life i ran away from being with someone but in the same time i am longing to have a serious relationship
Please... help.

[Yaowen]

Dear Flowerpower12,

I am so very, very sorry this is happening to you. Something similar happened to me before. It was like a kind of conflicted feeling between wanting to be in a relationship and afraid of being in one except that it was very intense and extreme. It was overwhelming.

In my case, an anxiety disorder had turned a small internal conflict within me into a huge one. I saw a physician and he was able to help me bring things down and into balance through medication. I think being in love can also make feelings very intense.

Since I am not a physician or medical professional I cannot offer any advice that you or anyone else could or should rely upon. I can only share what helped me personally. Hopefully others here with more knowledge, experience and insight will have more helpful words for you than my poor words. It is awful that you are suffering like this. People who have not suffered these kind of terrible internal conflicts cannot really understand how brutal and debilitating they can be. So my heart goes out to you. I sure hope you find something that helps you!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[MickeyCheeky]

i am So Sorr You're struggling so badly! my advice would be to see a doctor or therapist if You aren't doing it AlReady. It is REALLY Good that You've talked about ALL of this with him so definitely keep following this route And do not get discouraged as i am SURE that You can And WILL get out of this predicament! SEnding many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @Flowerpower12, Your Family, Your FriEnds And ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[RoxanneToto]

I’m sorry you’re going through this, relationship anxiety is horrible!
I can sympathise to a degree - I’m happy/happier being single but I definitely had many similar thoughts and feelings to yours in my last relationship. I realised I didn’t actually like him as much as I thought I did but was still afraid of hurting him and going through the usual aftermath stuff of breaking up. I realise that’s not the same thing as in your case, of course, because you say you’re calm and feel good when you’re with him.
Have you been let down badly or pushed away before by other people? I agree that some counselling may be beneficial for you.