P/A people :(

Fuzzybear · Oct 16, 2020 at 12:40 AM

UGH they make me so Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I have no idea how to ''cope'' with them other than to IGNORE their bullshyt

Has anyone found any tricks to deal with these people?

They make me want to ''leave'' the world. They are emotional vampires

(not anyone here)

Thirty shades · Oct 16, 2020 at 02:00 AM

It is most difficult to ignore cruel words once spoken.

I try to reframe what has been said. See the person for who they are. The emotional rollercoaster continues with an avalanche of internal anger.

I have found my latest T has helped with removing some old programmes, which makes things easier to bear.

Hugs and respect

Fuzzybear · Oct 16, 2020 at 02:05 AM

It's like barging into my cave without knocking. What is wrong with so called intelligent ''people'' who repeatedly fail to offer basic RESPECT

My ''t'' said I am ''beyond help''... so helpful, huh?

Hugs and respect

eskielover · Oct 16, 2020 at 02:07 AM

I have a friend who throws P/A things out there once in awhile. Personally I try to just let it slide but there have been times when I have called her on it & just like my mom, she goes away for awhile & then calls back as if nothing ever happened. I am definitely not as close of a friend as I used to be. I am picking & choosing my close friends much more selectively these days & it feels good

Fuzzybear · Oct 16, 2020 at 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

It is most difficult to ignore cruel words once spoken.

I try to reframe what has been said. See the person for who they are. The emotional rollercoaster continues with an avalanche of internal anger.

I have found my latest T has helped with removing some old programmes, which makes things easier to bear.

Hugs and respect

Thanks for your post dear Thirty shades

Hugs and much respect

Fuzzybear · Oct 16, 2020 at 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

I have a friend who throws P/A things out there once in awhile. Personally I try to just let it slide but there have been times when I have called her on it & just like my mom, she goes away for awhile & then calls back as if nothing ever happened. I am definitely not as close of a friend as I used to be. I am picking & choosing my close friends much more selectively these days & it feels good

I agree, I am doing the same

WovenGalaxy · Oct 16, 2020 at 06:44 PM

What is P/A?

Fuzzybear · Oct 16, 2020 at 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy

What is P/A?

People who often engage in passive aggressive behaviour. I am usually quite tolerant (maybe ''too'' tolerant sometimes) but some forms of passive aggressive behaviour especially from people I have ''known'' for years, push my buttons. Fortunately those extreme behaviours are quite rare. I do not know the exact definition of ''passive aggressive'' behaviour. The sort I am talking about is often engaged in by ''covert Narcissists'' I believe

So it's usually intentional, a complete disregard of someone's boundaries.. And they are super aware of their own boundaries. So there is something a little, or a lot, off there.

eskielover · Oct 17, 2020 at 09:02 AM

The P/A behavior I lived with for 33 years was the way my NOW ex-H would tell you he was going to do something I asked him to do just to shut me up when he had NO intention of doing it in the first place.

My friend will just make comments that can be taken many ways that doesn't sound aggressive until you read between the lines.....like "glad you could take time away from your busy schedule to spend time with me on my birthday." On the surface it sounds good but is it a complaint that I don't make enough time for her other times? Something the average person wouldn't be able to determine not having been in a friendship relation & knowing past experiences. Even then one really doesn't know what is in their HEART when the comment is made

eskielover · Oct 17, 2020 at 09:10 AM

This article is a pretty good summary of passive aggressive examples

New Health Advisor - New Health Advisor for Daily Health Care.

Fuzzybear · Oct 18, 2020 at 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

This article is a pretty good summary of passive aggressive examples

New Health Advisor - New Health Advisor for Daily Health Care.

Thanks eskielover

eskielover · Oct 19, 2020 at 12:38 AM

I am practicing my P/A behavior.....getting lots of practice lately

I have told this couple living in the barn apartment to ALWAYS close the gate because if my horse gets out of the turnout area I don't want her getting off the farm & LOCK it when they leave & at night. I go check on my horse up there sometimes around 1am just to make sure all is well. I keep finding the gate unlocked after locking it earlier. So after numerous nice requests I have started to passive aggressively LOCK the gate every time I go out of it during the day so if they want out they have to continually unlock it. Lots more has gone on than just this but this is a high priority issue in my life & the safety of my horse. Sometimes finding the PERFECT P/A act can be an interesting challenge

After nicely asking people to do the right thing & they keep not doing it....I tend to take the approach....."don't get mad, get even" & make their life more difficult too. Definitely P/A behavior but at times it feels good

( I would just move my horse back to my farm BUT she is thriving up there & has a nice barn to go into in bad weather & cold winter days....want to avoid moving her if possible)

Prycejosh1987 · Nov 11, 2020 at 01:12 PM

The best way to deal with these types of people is to remain calm and let it swing. It will pass and as long as you make your point that is what matters most.

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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,329 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Oct 16, 2020 at 12:40 AM #1 UGH they make me so Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I have no idea how to ''cope'' with them other than to IGNORE their bullshyt Has anyone found any tricks to deal with these people? They make me want to ''leave'' the world. They are emotional vampires (not anyone here) __________________
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Thirty shades Grand Magnate Member Since Jul 2018 Location: UK Posts: 4,799 (SuperPoster!) 5 16.2k hugs given	Oct 16, 2020 at 02:00 AM #2 It is most difficult to ignore cruel words once spoken. I try to reframe what has been said. See the person for who they are. The emotional rollercoaster continues with an avalanche of internal anger. I have found my latest T has helped with removing some old programmes, which makes things easier to bear. Hugs and respect
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,329 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Oct 16, 2020 at 02:05 AM #3 It's like barging into my cave without knocking. What is wrong with so called intelligent ''people'' who repeatedly fail to offer basic RESPECT My ''t'' said I am ''beyond help''... so helpful, huh? Hugs and respect __________________
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WovenGalaxy Magnate Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 2,854 4 4,842 hugs given	Oct 16, 2020 at 06:44 PM #7 What is P/A?
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eskielover Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2004 Location: Kentucky, USA Posts: 24,752 (SuperPoster!) 19 14.6k hugs given	Oct 17, 2020 at 09:10 AM #10 This article is a pretty good summary of passive aggressive examples New Health Advisor - New Health Advisor for Daily Health Care. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Prycejosh1987 Member Member Since Jul 2020 Location: UK Posts: 368 3	Nov 11, 2020 at 01:12 PM #13 The best way to deal with these types of people is to remain calm and let it swing. It will pass and as long as you make your point that is what matters most.
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