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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 04:27 PM
  #501
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Hope- I can appreciate how enraged you feel now. And I know that the ex and him are responsible for their own actions. But I think you should avoid any further contact with the ex despite how satisfying it can be to let someone have it. I don’t want him to twist the whole thing around and imply that you are stalky or that you are paranoid or anything. I also don’t know what the ex is capable of and I wouldn’t want the two of them to conspire to paint you as unstable.
The woman he is flirting with and “thinking or dreaming about” is not the ex. It’s the woman he works with @sarahsweets
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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 04:27 PM
  #502
He was sent home from work early because of his personal problems with me. Apparently I left a message for her on a recorded line. He tells me it was played out loud on speaker and that everyone in the service department heard it. I highly doubt that's even true. He's a pathological liar. Now he believes his job is in jeopardy which I also doubt. They love him, they need him, and he's one of the highest earning service advisors there. He is reactive, just as I am, and he's spouting BS, I do believe.

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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 04:30 PM
  #503
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He was sent home from work early because of his personal problems with me. Apparently I left a message for her on a recorded line. He tells me it was played out loud on speaker and that everyone in the service department heard it. I highly doubt that's even true. He's a pathological liar. Now he believes his job is in jeopardy which I also doubt. They love him, they need him, and he's one of the highest earning service advisors there. He is reactive, just as I am, and he's spouting BS, I do believe.
It should be in jeopardy. It’s not work appropriate communication
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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 04:31 PM
  #504
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It should be in jeopardy. It’s not work appropriate communication
Between he and his co worker? YES.

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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 04:34 PM
  #505
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Between he and his co worker? YES.
Of course. I am talking to male coworkers. Never ever would we say such a thing to each other. He is having an affair. Maybe not physical yet. Maybe work needs to interfere
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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 04:41 PM
  #506
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Of course. I am talking to male coworkers. Never ever would we say such a thing to each other. He is having an affair. Maybe not physical yet. Maybe work needs to interfere
I hope they DO interfere. He deserves to get in trouble. Yes, he IS having an affair. And he's still denying it, even though I caught him RED HANDED.

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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 05:03 PM
  #507
OMG. I cannot control my rage. He is home, and I continue to scream at him. I cannot help myself. I cannot control my rage. It keeps coming and coming and coming out.

He apparently got a warning at work. Now he's blaming ME for making waves for HIM, when HE was the one being inappropriate with his co worker.

He is leaving for the night to go sleep somewhere. I bet at HER house, though he CLAIMS he's going to a hotel. Yeah right.

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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 05:15 PM
  #508
He also threatened to call the landlord while I was yelling at him. I told him that I will call the police and will follow up on their offer of a restraining order because I have been afraid of him.

I told him just now that if he even tries to mess with me one single bit, that I have all evidence of his abuse towards me documented in texts, that I took screenshots of and saved. I told him I will show those texts to legal authorities and I also fibbed and said I have an abuse advocate who is helping me. (which I will have soon enough, in place).

He knows not to screw with me even an inch, or I will nail him to the wall and will show all those texts to those who matter.

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Last edited by Have Hope; Nov 23, 2020 at 06:23 PM..
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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 06:27 PM
  #509
I usually prefer to take a high road but I’d be tempted to call his boss and show him their texts. I’d show those to a lawyer too
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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 07:09 PM
  #510
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I usually prefer to take a high road but I’d be tempted to call his boss and show him their texts. I’d show those to a lawyer too
I don't want to get him fired. He has a warning from work and was sent home early today from his boss.

I will show the texts to a lawyer.

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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 07:13 PM
  #511
How did he explain phrases like thinking of you and hope to have you in my dreams? What’s the explanation? Her inviting him has an explanation somewhat. But what is his rationale?
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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 07:17 PM
  #512
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How did he explain phrases like thinking of you and hope to have you in my dreams? What’s the explanation? Her inviting him has an explanation somewhat. But what is his rationale?
He downplayed ALL of it, as though he were not having an affair, as though he's NOT lusting after her at all, and it's "not what you think" kind of thing.. He bs'ed me in other words. I don't recall exactly his excuses.... but it was TOTAL BS.

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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 07:22 PM
  #513
I find it curious that he started with her as soon as you said you are divorcing him. He figured he might need a place to live within few months and if she is single, then his issue is solved. But he has to lay it so thick to get her ready to pair up with him in few months. I bet. That’s why he is in a rush. Not the first time he lays it thick because he has no place to live
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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 07:29 PM
  #514
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I find it curious that he started with her as soon as you said you are divorcing him. He figured he might need a place to live within few months and if she is single, then his issue is solved. But he has to lay it so thick to get her ready to pair up with him in few months. I bet. That’s why he is in a rush. Not the first time he lays it thick because he has no place to live
I believe you are 100%. correct.

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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 08:00 PM
  #515
I'm happy he got a warning, if that's even true.

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Default Nov 23, 2020 at 10:23 PM
  #516
I have given him absolute HELL. I informed him that I can take his car away in August. I told him what a lying f-ing scumbag he is, about 20 times today. I told him I will get a restraining order and will get him out of the apt if need be. I told him to find a place to live for Dec. He says he has no place to go. SO I will leave. My close college girlfriend told me it would cost me $900 for the month to live elsewhere. I am going to do it. As long as I don't have to be around HIM.

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Default Nov 24, 2020 at 05:00 AM
  #517
I woke up at 4:30 AM and couldn't sleep. My rage has not gone away.

Yesterday, I went ballistic on him. Absolutely ballistic.

Even though I was going to divorce him anyways, the betrayal still hurts me deeply and immensely.

I am floored that he has defended his so-called integrity to no end to me for the last year, demanding I trust him implicitly about other women, yelling at me about it even, and then he does this behind my back??

He was also lying in bed with ME at the time when he wrote to HER saying "see you in my dreams". So, he snuggled and cuddled with ME all night, thinking about HER as he went to sleep!!!

I am SICK. Literally SICKENED. I barely ate a single thing yesterday because of this.

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Last edited by Have Hope; Nov 24, 2020 at 06:48 AM..
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Default Nov 24, 2020 at 07:14 AM
  #518
He continues to lie to me and deny that he was having any kind of an affair, and he denies cheating on me. He is such a lying scumbag.

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Default Nov 24, 2020 at 07:21 AM
  #519
Talking to him and letting my rage out on him is accomplishing very little, except that it's cathartic for me to dump on him. He's apparently in big trouble at work. He's afraid he's going to lose his job. I don't want him to lose his job at all because of me, but he does deserve to be in trouble for what he's done.

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Default Nov 24, 2020 at 07:26 AM
  #520
It's really sick @HaveHope. So sad. It is so good that you have seen through his mask, though. My ex could say with a straight face that he did not hit me, and it chilled me to the bone, and made me question EVERYTHING, and took two months after that to actually separate.
You will have a better life without that lier in it!
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