I trusted him again and I feel SO ashamed

TishaBuv · Nov 15, 2020 at 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disney2019

What he did was, he would keep me guessing by giving me just enough attention to keep me interested. When I would start to pull back, then he starts giving me a lot of attention as if he’s interested. Load of crap. My friend said to tell him to go f himself lol 🤷🏼*♀️ I didn’t but he would deserve it. No wonder he can’t keep a girl

I experienced boyfriends like this when I was in my 20’s (before getting married). My mom would say, “They don’t want you but don’t want anyone else to have you.”

Your relationship sounds like this too. Except this is an older man. He doesn’t want to get married. If you want a committed relationship, you need to find someone who wants that too.

divine1966 · Nov 15, 2020 at 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disney2019

What he did was, he would keep me guessing by giving me just enough attention to keep me interested. When I would start to pull back, then he starts giving me a lot of attention as if he’s interested. Load of crap. My friend said to tell him to go f himself lol 🤷🏼*♀️ I didn’t but he would deserve it. No wonder he can’t keep a girl

Honestly when you described your relationship with him while it was going on you didn’t ever mention him doing anything to get you hooked or showing any attention. Honestly everything he did was to let you know he can’t care less.

You’d go there and stay all weekend cooking or what not and he’d be drinking like a fish either asleep drunk or high from heavy weed smoking or hungover or he had friends over and spend time with them. He ignited your phone calls and texts. You never described proper dating routine that men do when they like a woman.

You said he never took you anywhere or did anything with you or for you. I don’t recall you sharing he showed any attention.

How do you think men show attention? And how do you think other men behave when they show attention? It’s not attention at all

Disney2019 · Nov 15, 2020 at 08:38 PM

He doesn’t know how to properly date anyone. Even his “crazy” exes. Now I can see why they went ballistic.

Disney2019 · Nov 15, 2020 at 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I experienced boyfriends like this when I was in my 20’s (before getting married). My mom would say, “They don’t want you but don’t want anyone else to have you.”

Your relationship sounds like this too. Except this is an older man. He doesn’t want to get married. If you want a committed relationship, you need to find someone who wants that too.

You are so right..he doesn’t want anyone else to have me. When we were out at this beach party this guy kept saying how beautiful I am, and he loves me. Granted, he was probably drunk but it was still nice. But he told him to leave me alone.

divine1966 · Nov 15, 2020 at 08:41 PM

I am just concerned that what he was doing was enough for you to be interested in him. I hope you’ll not go for guys like him anymore

TishaBuv · Nov 15, 2020 at 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disney2019

He doesn’t know how to properly date anyone. Even his “crazy” exes. Now I can see why they went ballistic.

He knows what a date is. If he never took out you or other exes, not only is that bad on him, but it’s also bad on the women (maybe more so on women who allowed themselves to be treated like they mean nothing.

I had young men take me out, but then not get serious. They’d call again, but inconsistently. Just when I’d meet someone else that I might have clicked if given a chance, they’d show up again and turn my head around, only to distance again. It was the immaturity of a guy who didn’t want to commit (at least not to me). I moved on from that and met someone ‘ready’.

I hope this doesn’t come off too judgy— You made yourself too easy and available by hanging out at his house with no real dating. I hope you learn to not do that again with new men. Forget this guy, regardless. If the only men you are meeting do not ask you for an actual date, you are meeting men of a lifestyle that you should try to elevate yourself above. Look for better quality men. What can you be putting out that you are not attracting men who ask you for a real date?

Disney2019 · Nov 20, 2020 at 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

He knows what a date is. If he never took out you or other exes, not only is that bad on him, but it’s also bad on the women (maybe more so on women who allowed themselves to be treated like they mean nothing.

I had young men take me out, but then not get serious. They’d call again, but inconsistently. Just when I’d meet someone else that I might have clicked if given a chance, they’d show up again and turn my head around, only to distance again. It was the immaturity of a guy who didn’t want to commit (at least not to me). I moved on from that and met someone ‘ready’.

I hope this doesn’t come off too judgy— You made yourself too easy and available by hanging out at his house with no real dating. I hope you learn to not do that again with new men. Forget this guy, regardless. If the only men you are meeting do not ask you for an actual date, you are meeting men of a lifestyle that you should try to elevate yourself above. Look for better quality men. What can you be putting out that you are not attracting men who ask you for a real date?

I just have to have higher standards and not accept less. This guy is just immature. Most men, will not ditch a girl for their guy friends. I couldn’t wrap my head around why he would ditch me like that. But I think he is just beneath me, so he couldn’t possibly comprehend that it’s wrong. I seek a man-a real man. Not a boy pretending to be a man! Quality men just don’t behave like this.

Nov 20, 2020 at 12:51 AM

Sorry to damper your hope but have you been to the quality man store lately - it doesn’t exist and neither does a quality man. There are selfish people, selfish people with money and selfish people with more money. I am loosing faith in humanity, TBH

divine1966 · Nov 20, 2020 at 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ann bog

Sorry to damper your hope but have you been to the quality man store lately - it doesn’t exist and neither does a quality man. There are selfish people, selfish people with money and selfish people with more money. I am loosing faith in humanity, TBH

Well that simply isn’t the case. There certainly are quality people of either gender. Not everyone is selfish, with money or no money. I know many quality men. Now relationships might still not work or be still be difficult but it doesn’t mean there are no quality people

herbal tea · Nov 20, 2020 at 06:35 AM

It is a pity that such a situation happened to you. I understand you're upset, but don't blame yourself. You trusted him, but he just doesn't rely on your trust. Because he's an idiot.
I think he has behaved badly enough, so you should not continue to communicate with him. Even if he apologizes very much and you forgive him, you have to remember that he will not change and will behave the same way.
You're really right that it’s a bad idea to be friends with your ex. Especially if the relationship did not end well.

Isharasli97 · Nov 22, 2020 at 06:38 PM

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Disney2019 Member Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Nyc Posts: 98 4 8 hugs given	Nov 15, 2020 at 08:38 PM #43 He doesn’t know how to properly date anyone. Even his “crazy” exes. Now I can see why they went ballistic.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,367 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Nov 15, 2020 at 08:41 PM #45 I am just concerned that what he was doing was enough for you to be interested in him. I hope you’ll not go for guys like him anymore
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Anonymous41250 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 20, 2020 at 12:51 AM #48 Sorry to damper your hope but have you been to the quality man store lately - it doesn’t exist and neither does a quality man. There are selfish people, selfish people with money and selfish people with more money. I am loosing faith in humanity, TBH
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Isharasli97 New Member Member Since Nov 2020 Location: malaysia Posts: 10 3	Nov 22, 2020 at 06:38 PM #51 Trust yourself
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