Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-21-2020, 05:06 PM   #1
Phrysca's Avatar
Phrysca has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: San Francisco, California
Posts: 26
Default Relationship as in general

Not as being an actual partnet relationship, but how you relate to people, and all people. Especially family. They are the first people we relate to in life. We learn our communications skills through them as well, but unfortunately it doesn't stop there. As we grow older, we meet other people, but our roots are with family. My aunt one day tells, "My poor, baby. You picked up what your brothers and sisters left behind." I am six of seven siblings. I told my aunt, "I just wish they would have left behind some of their good qualities, too."

We may look alike or look like one and not the other, or not look like any of them at all, but the real impact they leave on us is how we relate to each other growing up. As of right now, I don't communicate with any of my fami!y member, and I can only call on one, two, three, and MAYBE one more person. I always knew I was different, but at this point I don't even know who they are anymore. In me, there was one rule that I have tried to stick by "What's right is right, and what's wrong is wrong" No excuses and without trying to throw it off on other people, we all reach a point in our lives where there is no room for arguing when you know you've done wrong and it would be wrong to throw the blame on someone else.

I was answering some interview questions and they always ask the famous question: what are your weaknesses and your strenghts? I know my communications skills are my strwnght (without emotion) and because I speak fluent in another language. My weakness is the fact that I can't separate my personal and work environments. I will bring my personal baggage wo work instead of leaving it at home, but because my personal life affects my whole world.

I need to communicate with my famiky , but when I try to reach out - I get dismissed or to them I'm over reacting - I have been down the similar road with my family, except this road is a lot harder to hurdle over especially when they aren't wiling to communicate with me. I have thought of ways to try like therapy, but to them - going to therapy is like admitting 'your' crazy. I've thought maybe a mediation, but I don't know.....

I don't know what to do because this is really bothering me....
Phrysca is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

Old 11-21-2020, 05:23 PM   #2
RoxanneToto has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 325 (SuperPoster!)
1,107 hugs
Default Re: Relationship as in general

I think the ďyouíre crazyĒ stereotyping around going to therapy is so unhelpful (Iím not having a go at you for saying that - if you think it would help you, please donít be put off by what some people think about it! You donít even need to have mental health issues to find therapy useful, either). I donít have a lot of advice for dealing with your family but the way they dismiss you sounds horrible, and unsupportive. Having some kind of coaching perhaps would help you find better ways of getting through to them - although, if itís because they donít actually want to listen, youíre probably fighting a losing battle anyway.
Your feelings are valid even if they donít want to acknowledge them.
RoxanneToto is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-22-2020, 03:31 PM   #3
Rive. has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,104
5 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Relationship as in general

So, you want to communicate with them.

The problem is if they are not willing to show up, there can be no improvement to the situation. They don't seem willing to grow or even to listen. It is difficult to communicate with people in such a stuck place.

You can only work on yourself. If they can't (or aren't ready) to 'meet you', you will inevitably end up in the same old hurt / dismissed place.
Rive. is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:52 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.


Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.