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Phrysca
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Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: San Francisco, California
Posts: 72
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#1
Not as being an actual partnet relationship, but how you relate to people, and all people. Especially family. They are the first people we relate to in life. We learn our communications skills through them as well, but unfortunately it doesn't stop there. As we grow older, we meet other people, but our roots are with family. My aunt one day tells, "My poor, baby. You picked up what your brothers and sisters left behind." I am six of seven siblings. I told my aunt, "I just wish they would have left behind some of their good qualities, too."
We may look alike or look like one and not the other, or not look like any of them at all, but the real impact they leave on us is how we relate to each other growing up. As of right now, I don't communicate with any of my fami!y member, and I can only call on one, two, three, and MAYBE one more person. I always knew I was different, but at this point I don't even know who they are anymore. In me, there was one rule that I have tried to stick by "What's right is right, and what's wrong is wrong" No excuses and without trying to throw it off on other people, we all reach a point in our lives where there is no room for arguing when you know you've done wrong and it would be wrong to throw the blame on someone else. I was answering some interview questions and they always ask the famous question: what are your weaknesses and your strenghts? I know my communications skills are my strwnght (without emotion) and because I speak fluent in another language. My weakness is the fact that I can't separate my personal and work environments. I will bring my personal baggage wo work instead of leaving it at home, but because my personal life affects my whole world. I need to communicate with my famiky , but when I try to reach out - I get dismissed or to them I'm over reacting - I have been down the similar road with my family, except this road is a lot harder to hurdle over especially when they aren't wiling to communicate with me. I have thought of ways to try like therapy, but to them - going to therapy is like admitting 'your' crazy. I've thought maybe a mediation, but I don't know..... I don't know what to do because this is really bothering me.... |
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mote.of.soul, RoxanneToto
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RoxanneToto
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Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
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#2
I think the “you’re crazy” stereotyping around going to therapy is so unhelpful (I’m not having a go at you for saying that - if you think it would help you, please don’t be put off by what some people think about it! You don’t even need to have mental health issues to find therapy useful, either). I don’t have a lot of advice for dealing with your family but the way they dismiss you sounds horrible, and unsupportive. Having some kind of coaching perhaps would help you find better ways of getting through to them - although, if it’s because they don’t actually want to listen, you’re probably fighting a losing battle anyway.
Your feelings are valid even if they don’t want to acknowledge them. |
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Magnate
Rive.
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Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,002
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#3
So, you want to communicate with them.
The problem is if they are not willing to show up, there can be no improvement to the situation. They don't seem willing to grow or even to listen. It is difficult to communicate with people in such a stuck place. You can only work on yourself. If they can't (or aren't ready) to 'meet you', you will inevitably end up in the same old hurt / dismissed place. |
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