The worst feeling of all.

GSC2019 · Nov 27, 2020 at 01:43 PM

Feeling alone when you have a partner....

Walking around confused because you don't understand why people can be so close; then become so far...

Yaowen · Nov 27, 2020 at 01:55 PM

Dear GCS2019,

Wow, that is so profound. I totally get that. Many people perhaps don't realize that being lonely in a relationship can feel just as awful as being lonely when single.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

Nov 27, 2020 at 01:59 PM

That's why we have a gift of choice. You don't have to be with that person. You have one life and it may end tomorrow. Live it.

GSC2019 · Nov 27, 2020 at 02:01 PM

It's not always that simple. Sometimes you have children. Sometimes things are complicated. It's not easy to split with someone you've been with for years.

GSC2019 · Nov 27, 2020 at 02:05 PM

Sometimes the thought of ruining your children's mental health because of separation can prevent you from leaving. I'm not saying the latter is a good thing.

The year and a half of my relationship has been a cycle of ups and downs. Happy to unhappy. Future to no future. Always extremes. It makes me depressed instantly every time; sometimes to the point of wishing I didn't exist. I just want to everything to be good.

Open Eyes · Nov 27, 2020 at 02:15 PM

Are you seeing a therapist?

GSC2019 · Nov 27, 2020 at 02:17 PM

Been through them all most of them don't know what the hell they're talking about or are half my age. I am very educated I am a pharmacist went to school for 10 years and I am also well versed on mental health treatments and I found that most of my therapists in my region are quite inadequate as most older therapists and psychiatrists are actually retiring

GSC2019 · Nov 27, 2020 at 02:19 PM

Also on a side note I firmly believe her to be the one that needs therapy. She's always had some sort of you know issue with irritability and depression throughout most of her life according to her mother and she's always been " " occasionally hateful and she's never sought help because she thinks it's stupid to see a therapist and to me it seems like it would challenge who she is as a person if she were to see a therapist because most of my emotional issues are usually due to some kind of conflict or something that affects me in my environment

divine1966 · Nov 27, 2020 at 02:36 PM

I can ensure you that couple staying in unhealthy marriage is more detrimental to mental health of their children than them being raised by divorced parents.

Often times people don’t want to ask themselves a question why their adult children can never find healthy partners and never find healthy relationship (not talking about occasional or one time bad dating experience, everyone has that). The answer often is because their kids never saw healthy relationship growing up. They get to see their parents being miserable so that’s all they know. And trust me, kids always know

So of course it’s hard to divorce when you have children but every time people choose to stick around they should think what kind of damage they inflict on their kids and how it effects their capacity for having good relationships and their mental health in a long run

divine1966 · Nov 27, 2020 at 02:39 PM

It’s possible she needs a therapist but you can’t force her to see one. People often resist it because they don’t care to improve themselves or don’t care to hear the truth. Sad reality

Bill3 · Nov 27, 2020 at 08:27 PM

Quote:

because most of my emotional issues are usually due to some kind of conflict or something that affects me in my environment

This is a valid reason to see a therapist.

TimeToJump · Nov 28, 2020 at 01:29 AM

I understand completely. I've lived that life over seven years. Good luck to you. You deserve better.

Rive. · Nov 28, 2020 at 04:34 PM

True, it can't be easy to leave someone you've been with for years.

However, staying in an unhappy marriage can be much more detrimental to children's mental health. Not only can they sense something is wrong but they learn from their parents who model what is 'normal' or acceptable behaviour. Which means, as children grow older they can believe that unhealthy/unhappy and/or abusive choices are 'normal'. So, they suffer yet again by getting into, or staying, in similar relationships themselves.

Medusax · Nov 28, 2020 at 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GSC2019

Feeling alone when you have a partner....

Walking around confused because you don't understand why people can be so close; then become so far...

Amazing your timing. I just came in from making the mistake (I should know better after 30 years) of asking my husband to do something. We needed to til a small patch of earth because it was getting weeds. I have been at work where there are no windows, for 10 hours at a time and was unaware of the amount of rain we've had, or I would not have entertained the thought. NORMALLY, I just have him start it, and I do the work. Anyway, the tiller bogged, I told him to stop and we would simply have to wait. Well, he threw a tantrum, slamming and banging things around. I lost it and let him know exactly what I thought about being married to a giant three year old. The biggest mistake I ever made was getting married. He acts like all I do is annoy him with my very presence. The positive thing is, I don't mind being "alone"

Prycejosh1987 · Dec 05, 2020 at 12:15 PM

Talk to your partner and be more intimate, and talk about your concerns to the person.

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GSC2019 Member Member Since May 2019 Location: NH Posts: 73 4	Nov 27, 2020 at 01:43 PM #1 Feeling alone when you have a partner.... Walking around confused because you don't understand why people can be so close; then become so far...
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Yaowen Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2020 Location: USA Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,475 hugs given	Nov 27, 2020 at 01:55 PM #2 Dear GCS2019, Wow, that is so profound. I totally get that. Many people perhaps don't realize that being lonely in a relationship can feel just as awful as being lonely when single. Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Anonymous42048 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 27, 2020 at 01:59 PM #3 That's why we have a gift of choice. You don't have to be with that person. You have one life and it may end tomorrow. Live it.
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GSC2019 Member Member Since May 2019 Location: NH Posts: 73 4	Nov 27, 2020 at 02:01 PM #4 It's not always that simple. Sometimes you have children. Sometimes things are complicated. It's not easy to split with someone you've been with for years.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,116 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Nov 27, 2020 at 02:15 PM #6 Are you seeing a therapist?
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GSC2019 Member Member Since May 2019 Location: NH Posts: 73 4	Nov 27, 2020 at 02:17 PM #7 Been through them all most of them don't know what the hell they're talking about or are half my age. I am very educated I am a pharmacist went to school for 10 years and I am also well versed on mental health treatments and I found that most of my therapists in my region are quite inadequate as most older therapists and psychiatrists are actually retiring
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,375 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Nov 27, 2020 at 02:39 PM #10 It’s possible she needs a therapist but you can’t force her to see one. People often resist it because they don’t care to improve themselves or don’t care to hear the truth. Sad reality
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TimeToJump New Member Member Since Nov 2020 Location: Washington Posts: 2 3	Nov 28, 2020 at 01:29 AM #12 I understand completely. I've lived that life over seven years. Good luck to you. You deserve better.
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Prycejosh1987 Member Member Since Jul 2020 Location: UK Posts: 368 3	Dec 05, 2020 at 12:15 PM #15 Talk to your partner and be more intimate, and talk about your concerns to the person.
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