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Nov 30, 2020 at 03:40 PM
#1
a really nice online friend ended his friendship with me today
apparently, he is feeling really angry that I can't/ won't be his girlfriend and thinks that just remaining friends isn't good enough for him fair enough, I guess- but he sure kept that hidden for the 5/6 months we'd been talking I liked him too. nice guy. (almost as good as bethany) but I would have never been his GF anyway: the main reason being that I want to stay single. I just feel angry and hurt that he chose today to tell me that our friendship isn't worth it if that's all it is |
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 Anonymous41250, Bill3, RoxanneToto, unaluna, WovenGalaxy
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 WovenGalaxy
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Nov 30, 2020 at 03:50 PM
#2
sorry - how do you know he is angry? did he tell you that? sometimes we say one thing but we don't actually mean it - how do you know he ended the relationship? maybe he just needs a break from the relationship or time alone
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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Nov 30, 2020 at 04:17 PM
#3
 I'm really sorry this happened, raging vortex. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
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Nov 30, 2020 at 04:49 PM
#4
I’m so sorry he dropped you as a friend. It does seem unfair that he can’t value your friendship for its own sake - that seems kind of entitled on his part. Even if you did want a boyfriend, someone who complains about being in the “friend zone” isn’t a good bet as a potential partner.
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
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Dec 03, 2020 at 12:54 AM
#5
Ouch. Sounds like a lose lose. I'm sorry. I suppose it just took him that long to muster the courage to tell you his true feelings. Hopefully he learns to be more expediant and direct with future potential partners.
Was there a part of you that suspected his intentions but was afraid to confront him? |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 46
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Dec 03, 2020 at 09:58 AM
#6
I think the problem is because he saw your communication as a possible start to a relationship, and you thought it was just a friendship.
I understand that you are angry with him, but most likely it was not a friendship. I believe that there can be no friendship between people where one has sympathy for another. And it also shows experience. The question is why he did not admit earlier that he has feelings for you. You should accept the situation. It probably hurts him that you refused him, so he does not want to continue communication. I understand him, I would do the same. |
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Member
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: Kansas
Posts: 161
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Dec 03, 2020 at 09:10 PM
#7
I'm sorry you lost your friend. Those friendships where one person wants more than the other are really difficult to manage and balance, long term. If he didn't end the friendship, his feelings for you probably just would have become stronger and more painful. Sometimes it's better the friendship end than turn into a relationship where the "unsatisfied" partner just gets angrier and more resentful.
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WovenGalaxy
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Human
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Home
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Dec 03, 2020 at 09:26 PM
#8
I'm really sorry, Raging Vortex. But good for you for maintaining your boundaries.
__________________  What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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WovenGalaxy
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 368
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Dec 04, 2020 at 11:11 AM
#9
There is no such things as opposite sex friends. I have heard that many times in my life, and its true. When a man becomes a women's friend, its usually either for sex, or what i call a 'trial' relationship. This is a reason why people are cheating on each other;. You have to ask yourself what is it worth. Do what you think is best.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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