Should I confront my friend who never invites me anywhere?

Roxanne0811 · Dec 01, 2020 at 06:59 PM

i should elaborate that his friend hosts this event/activity I have been telling him I want to go since the summer! He is always saying we will go and next thing I know he is there with his friend and posting on social media. When I ask him why he didn’t invite me, he says it was spontaneous and his friend calls him up and says let’s go. His friend has it every week in a public place so it’s not like I can’t just go. However, what really bothers me now is he goes on and on how I’m his best friend, yet if that’s the case I am pretty sure he would have invited me to this event I have been wanting to go to! Would it make me look desperate if I asked to come with them? I mean, I’ve told him 1,000 times before...I am really questioning if he even values my friendship/cares about me at all. It’s really hurtful to me and it’s like he doesn’t care. 😔

divine1966 · Dec 01, 2020 at 07:30 PM

Honestly if people don’t invite me to do things, it’s possible they just aren’t interested. Confronting them isn’t going to make them want to invite me. Are there any other people you could hang out with? He doesn’t sound like he cares and it’s dishonest for him to call you his best friend if he is disinterested

Bill3 · Dec 02, 2020 at 01:46 AM

It sounds like he views this activity as something that he does with his friend and not with you.

If you have been asking since the summer, and he still hasn't taken you, it doesn't sound like he is going to take you.

Seriously, in your title you said he doesn't invite you anywhere?

I doubt he actually thinks of you as his best friend.

Quote:

I am really questioning if he even values my friendship/cares about me at all. It’s really hurtful to me and it’s like he doesn’t care. 😔

I'm very sorry to say it, but I think you are right.

Roxanne0811 · Dec 02, 2020 at 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

It sounds like he views this activity as something that he does with his friend and not with you.

If you have been asking since the summer, and he still hasn't taken you, it doesn't sound like he is going to take you.

Seriously, in your title you said he doesn't invite you anywhere?

I doubt he actually thinks of you as his best friend.

I'm very sorry to say it, but I think you are right.

Absolutely right. In my book, when your close with someone and you know for a fact there is something they would like to do, you would include them. Maybe not every time, but I’ve been saying I want to go for the past 4-5 months. I don’t need his permission to go. I can go alone or with another friend and if I run into him I’ll say Hi, but I won’t be hanging out.

MickeyCheeky · Dec 02, 2020 at 01:16 PM

i partly Agree with others. i'd definitely confront him about this And See what he has to say to defend himself. After that decide for Yourself whether or not You want to continue this FriEndship. SEnding many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @Roxanne0811, Your Family, Your FriEnds And ALL of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Rive. · Dec 02, 2020 at 02:27 PM

Quote:

Would it make me look desperate if I asked to come with them?

I wouldn't ask him anymore. Actions speak louder than words.

If your 'best friend' keeps forgetting about you, that is a very poor 'best friend' indeed. He doesn't mean what he says.

RoxanneToto · Dec 02, 2020 at 02:44 PM

I’d just go to this event, since you want to go anyway. Like you said, you don’t need his permission, you had asked already and got fobbed off with half-promises.
It is hurtful, but sometimes you need to look at people’s actions rather than what they say. The fact he knew you wanted to go and he just went there without inviting you says it all.
Be kind to yourself, be your own best friend at least for a while!

KBMK · Dec 02, 2020 at 02:58 PM

I'm confused about the communication between you and your friend. If he's saying "we will go", and then he's there with a friend, what is it you are wanting him to say and do differently?
Did you want him to pick you up or something?
It sounds to me like you are expecting him to take care of you, and he just wants to have a good time. Do you have fun together, or just have deep conversations, or what is it you do together? He might be messing you around, but can't see why, from what you have said.
He might actually think you are his best friend, but that's just something he does for fun. I would just go ahead and ask your friend questions... what's the worst that can happen?
I don't know how you would be very close friends if you don't communicate these things.

herbal tea · Dec 04, 2020 at 10:08 AM

This is so familiar to me when your friend treats you differently from you.
I also have a strange relationship with a friend. She tells me that I am her best friend, that I am the closest person to her, that she loves and appreciates me very much. But when I invite her to walk, go travel, have fun, meet the new year together, etc., she refuses, because she is always busy. And then I accidentally find out that she was not busy, she did not want to spend time with me.
It is sad to see that in words a person says one thing, but by actions demonstrates quite another. It hurts especially when this person is important to you.

Prycejosh1987 · Dec 04, 2020 at 11:03 AM

Confront your friend about it, its good to always be open and honest.

sarahsweets · Dec 08, 2020 at 05:53 AM

what are you expectations about confronting this friend? What do you hope to gain by doing it?

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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,375 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Dec 01, 2020 at 07:30 PM #2 Honestly if people don’t invite me to do things, it’s possible they just aren’t interested. Confronting them isn’t going to make them want to invite me. Are there any other people you could hang out with? He doesn’t sound like he cares and it’s dishonest for him to call you his best friend if he is disinterested
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MickeyCheeky Legendary Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Italy Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!) 7 38.4k hugs given	Dec 02, 2020 at 01:16 PM #5 i partly Agree with others. i'd definitely confront him about this And See what he has to say to defend himself. After that decide for Yourself whether or not You want to continue this FriEndship. SEnding many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @Roxanne0811, Your Family, Your FriEnds And ALL of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Prycejosh1987 Member Member Since Jul 2020 Location: UK Posts: 368 3	Dec 04, 2020 at 11:03 AM #10 Confront your friend about it, its good to always be open and honest.
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sarahsweets Threadtastic Postaholic Member Since Dec 2018 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!) 5 192 hugs given	Dec 08, 2020 at 05:53 AM #11 what are you expectations about confronting this friend? What do you hope to gain by doing it? __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society.
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