Son & DIL

DeeeSchmeee68 · Apr 23, 2024 at 09:25 PM

My oldest son (31) has a terrible temper and is prone to angry outbursts. Once again, he overreacted this time at his girlfriends 7 year old son (who has been acting out).
My DIL has severe mental health/addiction issues. Last year, she had cirrhosis, and my son had temporary custody.
When my 4 year old grandson was a newborn, her mom had her committed for suicide ideation. CPS has been called numerous times.

I want to be a support for them and encourage them to do better because nothing else is/has worked. But for ****s sake!

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Molinit · Apr 24, 2024 at 07:28 AM

If children are being abused, continue to contact CPS (at that time or shortly after) and/or police (at the time of the abuse). This is all you can do. I don't think from the description of your relationships with your children that anything you can say to them will have any effect.

Your ability to help (again from the descriptions you have given in other posts about your relationships with the adult children) will be as reporter or voice for the children, who have no ability to protect themselves.

DeeeSchmeee68 · 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Molinit

If children are being abused, continue to contact CPS (at that time or shortly after) and/or police (at the time of the abuse). This is all you can do. I don't think from the description of your relationships with your children that anything you can say to them will have any effect.

Your ability to help (again from the descriptions you have given in other posts about your relationships with the adult children) will be as reporter or voice for the children, who have no ability to protect themselves.

Very insightful and appreciated.
CPS does nothing. Literally.
Sisters, friends, school counselor and myself have called numerous times.
They have food. A bed. Clean clothes and normal seeming house. I don't see/have seen any physical abuse.
That's all that CPS cares about.

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Open Eyes · Apr 27, 2024 at 02:33 AM

It’s good that you have support from others including the school counselor. I can’t stress enough that you have documentation that there is genuine concern from more than just you and that while there may not be signs of physical abuse but emotional abuse can most definitely be just as damaging.

Have you talked to an attorney?

I am a bit confused in that you mention a daughter in law but also a girlfriend. Are both these women connected to your son?

divine1966 · Apr 27, 2024 at 07:35 AM

So children aren’t abused or neglected? I thought that’s what the post is about? If none of that happens of course CPS won’t do nothing. Why would they.

BTW you don’t need to see abuse or neglect to report it so did someone say it happened? It should be enough to report

DeeeSchmeee68 · Apr 28, 2024 at 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

It’s good that you have support from others including the school counselor. I can’t stress enough that you have documentation that there is genuine concern from more than just you and that while there may not be signs of physical abuse but emotional abuse can most definitely be just as damaging.

Have you talked to an attorney?

I am a bit confused in that you mention a daughter in law but also a girlfriend. Are both these women connected to your son?

Sorry for the confusion.
DIL is actually his girlfriend. They are not married.

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DeeeSchmeee68 · Apr 28, 2024 at 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

So children aren’t abused or neglected? I thought that’s what the post is about? If none of that happens of course CPS won’t do nothing. Why would they.

BTW you don’t need to see abuse or neglect to report it so did someone say it happened? It should be enough to report

They are not physically abused.
What I meant to convey is that every single time cps has been called, they come to her house and say it's fine. She behaves fine when cps is there. And my son does well with the interview as well.
There has never been an open case in all the times numerous people have called cps on her. Somehow, she squeaks by without any repercussions. And that's why I don't rely on cps anymore

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divine1966 · Apr 29, 2024 at 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeeeSchmeee68

They are not physically abused.
What I meant to convey is that every single time cps has been called, they come to her house and say it's fine. She behaves fine when cps is there. And my son does well with the interview as well.
There has never been an open case in all the times numerous people have called cps on her. Somehow, she squeaks by without any repercussions. And that's why I don't rely on cps anymore

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If there aren’t physically abused, what’s CPS is being called for and what do you want CPS to do? Are they not fed and clothed?

DeeeSchmeee68 · Apr 29, 2024 at 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

If there aren’t physically abused, what’s CPS is being called for and what do you want CPS to do? Are they not fed and clothed?

Idk exactly who is calling or for what reasons. When I called it was because she was basically bed ridden at the time and talking of suicide. Every time cps came over, her mom was there and said she's got things under control.

I'm not calling cps this time because she is physically better and I just try to be supportive to them both.(her & my son)
Also cps has never done a thing to intervene that I know of so all I want to do is be as helpful and supportive as possible

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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,428 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,279 hugs given	Apr 27, 2024 at 07:35 AM #5 So children aren’t abused or neglected? I thought that’s what the post is about? If none of that happens of course CPS won’t do nothing. Why would they. BTW you don’t need to see abuse or neglect to report it so did someone say it happened? It should be enough to report
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