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Old 04-14-2013, 07:53 PM #11
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

Thank you Nicole....am trying my best to deal with my feelings. Am seeing my new therapist tomorrow x
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Old 04-14-2013, 11:27 PM #12
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

Lizzie,
I am so sorry and I do relate to the feelings you are going through. Hang in there! You can do this and write as often as you need. You are not alone. I relate in many ways. The TELL website - read their articles/papers - all of them. Seriously. And email them!

You have relied on this man for a long time, he made you believe that you needed him. 20 years is very enmeshed. He sexually abused you regardless of if you liked or not. It was his duty to respect you and uphold ethics. Ethics and laws really are there to protect you - and for a good reason. He has broken so many that I feel scared for people seeing him right now.

You CAN live through this, YOU can find real support and respect, even if you don't trust them right away. You have been abused. For me, validating it all has been difficult. Because I also miss him, I also loved him....to both miss him and understand that I were seriously exploited is so difficult. It's not your fault, yet you get to feel the fall out.

For the first two weeks after my own fall out - I think I cried more than I ever have in my life. And the only way I could get myself to eat was to eat my favorite food every day. I'm just saying, find your own way to take care of yourself, those little things that make you feel good do make a difference. And know that you are not alone.

With compassion.
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Old 04-15-2013, 01:54 AM #13
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

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Lizzie,
I am so sorry and I do relate to the feelings you are going through. Hang in there! You can do this and write as often as you need. You are not alone. I relate in many ways. The TELL website - read their articles/papers - all of them. Seriously. And email them!

You have relied on this man for a long time, he made you believe that you needed him. 20 years is very enmeshed. He sexually abused you regardless of if you liked or not. It was his duty to respect you and uphold ethics. Ethics and laws really are there to protect you - and for a good reason. He has broken so many that I feel scared for people seeing him right now.

You CAN live through this, YOU can find real support and respect, even if you don't trust them right away. You have been abused. For me, validating it all has been difficult. Because I also miss him, I also loved him....to both miss him and understand that I were seriously exploited is so difficult. It's not your fault, yet you get to feel the fall out.

For the first two weeks after my own fall out - I think I cried more than I ever have in my life. And the only way I could get myself to eat was to eat my favorite food every day. I'm just saying, find your own way to take care of yourself, those little things that make you feel good do make a difference. And know that you are not alone.

With compassion.
Thank you for your kind and reasuring words Jungatheart. You seem to understand how im feeling. I too have never cried and felt so much pain as i have during the past year. My former therapist has been de-registered from the medical board as another female patient reported him for doing the same as what he did to me. I've also had to submit my own reports of the event and the incidents which took place. I feel as though not only am I a victim of my former therapist's abuse but now I have to relive the entire sordid events which took place. All i want to do is forget about the past.

At the time that the sexual abuse was happening i never thought of myself as a victim of sexual abuse. It was a year later that I realised my therapist wasnt the caring a person that he had led me to believe he was. I placed all my trust in this man never even for one moment questioning his motives. He made me rely on him for my sense of self worth. He knew all the right things to say to me in order to make me feel good about myself. I needed him to make me feel good about myself and i still do. He never really taught me life coping skills, he merely told me what i wanted to hear.

Its only now that he no longer part of my life that i realise how much i had come to rely on him to make myself feel validated. He was like the father that i never had. As much as i hate him i still miss the way he made me feel. Today I just feel numb and empty and without any feelings....wish i could sleep forever...

Thank you for helping me feel not so alone in my pain.... x
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Old 04-15-2013, 06:44 AM #14
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

Dear Lizzie

I am listening and you are in my thoughts. It's good you can write your pain here.

Moon
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:47 AM #15
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

I have been through it (7 years); if you want to write to me privately I will share my experience. These are the books which I have read, or am beginning to read. I recommend the book: Sex in the Therapy Hour by Bates and Brodsky....to read first.

At Personal Risk by Marilyn Peterson
A Killing Cure by Walker and Young 1986
Sexual Exploitation by Health Professionals
Psychological Sexual Involvement with Clients , Milgrom
Sex in the Forbidden Zone by Peter Rutter (this is the first one I read years ago); excellent!
I did "tons" of research on the subject of sexualization/sex with clients.

I mentioned the website TELL....It is a great resource for articles, books and if you wish, you can contact them; they can help you, because they experienced being sexually abused by a therapist.

There are many more.
My e-mail: [email protected] can put psych. in the subject line so I don't delete the message.

There is help and resources, but it is a long, difficult journey......I am also....an undergraduate in the mental health field.....these people don't police their own and seem oblivious to the widespread sexualization of the therapy process.

Nicole
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:59 AM #16
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line
This is the TELL (Therapy Exploitation Link Line)

I also sent i to your pm.

xoxo, Nicole
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Old 04-15-2013, 09:44 PM #17
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Heart Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

Thank you hugs Nicole xx I have checked your pms....
Am on my way out right now, have a lovely day and will check out the links and info that you have sent me. Bless you for caring xxx
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Old 04-17-2013, 07:53 PM #18
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

[quote=LizzieVale;3007094] I too have never cried and felt so much pain as i have during the past year. My former therapist has been de-registered from the medical board as another female patient reported him for doing the same as what he did to me. I've also had to submit my own reports of the event and the incidents which took place. I feel as though not only am I a victim of my former therapist's abuse but now I have to relive the entire sordid events which took place. All i want to do is forget about the past.

At the time that the sexual abuse was happening i never thought of myself as a victim of sexual abuse. It was a year later that I realised my therapist wasnt the caring a person that he had led me to believe he was. I placed all my trust in this man never even for one moment questioning his motives. He made me rely on him for my sense of self worth. He knew all the right things to say to me in order to make me feel good about myself. I needed him to make me feel good about myself and i still do. He never really taught me life coping skills, he merely told me what i wanted to hear.

Its only now that he no longer part of my life that i realise how much i had come to rely on him to make myself feel validated. He was like the father that i never had. As much as i hate him i still miss the way he made me feel. Today I just feel numb and empty and without any feelings....wish i could sleep forever...


OH MY. I relate. You are not alone. Thank God someone reported him. I know it's difficult, but I do believe that through facing the truth, healing can change from just being a word to being an experience. Don't forget, integrate. How can this unbelievable pain make your life better? Right? There is a way, I have to believe that there is a point to the pain.

...He made me rely on him as well. Apparently not unique for abusers, yet still hard for me to term it in that way. Sense of self worth, life coping skills - all of what you say, I am right there with you. The father you never had, how you miss him, more importantly......

How we will become stronger woman. That we will and can become more whole from this insidious pain. I need people like you, so you better stick around. We need each other, and together we learn what healing means.
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Old 04-17-2013, 07:57 PM #19
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

Tried to quote you. Not sure what went wrong there...
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:16 PM #20
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Default Re: Abused by therarapist and dont know how to deal my feelings

Quote:
Originally Posted by LizzieVale View Post
How can i ever trust anyone ever again....
Your sig says something like "treat others as you would like them to treat you."

How would you like your husband to behave if the shoe were on the other foot?

Why would you hope to trust if you yourself can't be trusted?

Maybe if you work backwards from putting yourself in your husband's position, you'll get further understanding about trust?

It's a painful thing you've gone through. I'm glad there are resources for your issue, but sad that there has to be such a thing.
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