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Default Feb 16, 2014 at 07:36 PM
  #41
This is a story that might be a little similar to yours.

Surviving Therapist Abuse - My Story

A book I found useful- the Betrayl Bond. Not specifically about therapy abuse, but about how abusers use our needs to hurt us.

Is your therapist helping you? Mine has worked really hard to be supportive and to constantly reassure me that this was not my fault. None of it.
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Default Feb 16, 2014 at 08:04 PM
  #42
Coltrane, we need you to learn more about this issue.

I do completely trust that you are trying to be supportive.

Therapists are trained to respond ethically even to SEDUCTION by their clients. They take an oath.
There is no way that any client enters into a relationship with a therapist with trully informed consent.

Therapists who do this very gradually groom their victims - pushing boundary after boundary. Until the final leap into the relationship is only a tiptoe over a threshold. Just like a sex offender luring a child - building trust, stretching reality, isolating the victim . The therapist has listened to the client for hours- and knows exactly buttons to push to manipulate the client's feelings.

I don't know that anything that I say will change your position, but I need to make sure that people who have experienced abuse at the hands of the person who they should have been able to trust most - their therapist, hear that the client, while a participant , doesn't share blame.
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Default Feb 16, 2014 at 10:14 PM
  #43
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Originally Posted by Topiarysurvivor View Post
Therapists are trained to respond ethically even to SEDUCTION by their clients. They take an oath.
There is no way that any client enters into a relationship with a therapist with trully informed consent.

Therapists who do this very gradually groom their victims - pushing boundary after boundary. Until the final leap into the relationship is only a tiptoe over a threshold. Just like a sex offender luring a child - building trust, stretching reality, isolating the victim . The therapist has listened to the client for hours- and knows exactly buttons to push to manipulate the client's feelings.

I don't know that anything that I say will change your position, but I need to make sure that people who have experienced abuse at the hands of the person who they should have been able to trust most - their therapist, hear that the client, while a participant , doesn't share blame.
Exactly! As I read the OP, it reminded me of how it felt to be seduced by my stepfather when I was an adolescent. After the abuse was over (it went on for 6 years), I, too, had mixed emotions. The shame and guilt I felt was only made worse by my mother, who knew what was happening but never fully acknowledged it. She also blamed me. What finally helped me to put the blame where it belonged was a therapist who told me, "He was the adult. You were the child. I don't care if you would have asked him to do that. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT."

LizzieVale, the dynamics of what happened with you and your therapist are, in my opinion, the same as sexual abuse of a child. There is an inherent imbalance of power and responsibility. You were vulnerable. You received some good things from him. I received some good things from my stepfather. I felt loved, accepted, attractive, and worthwhile. It took a lot of healing for me to realize that I was not to blame, and that my mixed feelings about him were to be expected. I hope you find the peace and healing you deserve, and that you will NOT blame yourself.

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Default Feb 16, 2014 at 10:37 PM
  #44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Topiarysurvivor View Post
This is a story that might be a little similar to yours.

Surviving Therapist Abuse - My Story

A book I found useful- the Betrayl Bond. Not specifically about therapy abuse, but about how abusers use our needs to hurt us.

Is your therapist helping you? Mine has worked really hard to be supportive and to constantly reassure me that this was not my fau've lt. None of it.
Thank you Topiarysurvivor.
I've taken a quick look at the book you suggested and I will get myself a copy. Sounds interesting and could be helpful in understanding and dealing with the emotions that im going through.

I've also read through the story that was posted on the link you suggest i read. There were a few things that i definitely can relate with and i totally get what the person is going through.

Statements such as: " I felt so completely loyal to him that I never considered betraying his trust. I was incredibly grateful to him for allowing me to have this “gift,” I could never do anything to hurt him. I literally prayed that no one would be harmed as a result of our involvement, and that if harm were to come to anyone, it should come to me. Since I believed he was doing this for my benefit, I thought I should be the one to bear any burdens."

In this this next statement Im trying to work out if this is that what i did? What exactly is "dissociating"?

"After any sexual contact, I usually felt spaced out and “floaty.” At the time, I simply thought I was “blissed out” on our lovemaking. It never occurred to me I might be dissociating. My out-of-body state masked any feelings of pain, discomfort, or distress so that everything looked perfectly rosy.

My current therapist reassures me that I am not to blame for what happened but he's not dealing with the feelings and the emotions that im going through. After my appointments with him I feel as though I haven't gained anything in dealing with my emotions. If anything i feel as though im banging my head against a brick wall and wasting his time. I feel resentful and angry because he simply dosn't understand the feelings and emotions that im experiencing. His answer for dealing with my feelings is to prescribe me yet another drug of which i simply toss the script into the bin.

My current therapist is a "psychiatrist" and not a "psychotherapist". My former therapist was a psychotherapist .
The approach of Psychoanalysis and Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy is that the source of much of what people think, feel, experience and fear is hidden or unconscious. These unconscious processes can maintain people’s internal suffering, the impact of trauma, crippling emotional difficulties and unsatisfactory relationships within their social and cultural contexts. The therapeutic relationship is the foundation for this method and requires commitment and responsibility from both the psychotherapist and patient/client. The aim is to work together to make sense of patients’ emotional life and ways of functioning. The work makes links between present and past as well as emphasising the patients’ here-and-now experience. Exploration of the conscious and unconscious aspects of the therapeutic relationship (also known as transference and countertransference) makes this work different from other therapies or from talking to a friend.

Hence my former therapist was able to delve into my head and knew exactly what made me tick and also exactly how to manipulate me.

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Default Feb 16, 2014 at 10:47 PM
  #45
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Originally Posted by LizzieVale View Post
My current therapist reassures me that I am not to blame for what happened but he's not dealing with the feelings and the emotions that im going through. After my appointments with him I feel as though I haven't gained anything in dealing with my emotions. If anything i feel as though im banging my head against a brick wall and wasting his time. I feel resentful and angry because he simply dosn't understand the feelings and emotions that im experiencing. His answer for dealing with my feelings is to prescribe me yet another drug of which i simply toss the script into the bin.

My current therapist is a "psychiatrist" and not a "psychotherapist". My former therapist was a psychotherapist .
LizzieVale, I don't know how it is in your country, but here in the US, very few pyschiatrists actually do therapy with their clients. They are mostly there just for prescribing and managing meds. Maybe some of the resources others have shared with you could help you to find a better-equipped therapist? I am glad to see that you are posting here, and hope you find what you need to heal.

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Default Feb 16, 2014 at 11:18 PM
  #46
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LizzieVale, I don't know how it is in your country, but here in the US, very few pyschiatrists actually do therapy with their clients. They are mostly there just for prescribing and managing meds. Maybe some of the resources others have shared with you could help you to find a better-equipped therapist? I am glad to see that you are posting here, and hope you find what you need to heal.
Thank you tametc

Looks as though psychotherapists are a pretty rare breed here in Australia also. I took it for granted after 20 years of seeing my former therapist that not many therapists are prepared to invest so much of their time and concentrated effort into helping their patients. I suppose that's the reason I became so close to him. He knew absolutely everything about me.

Even if i could find a decent psychotherapist I've been advised that if i do decide to stand up in court and testify against my former therapist I should keep my current therapist onside. Keeping in mind that this is going to be a lengthy and drawn out case I dont see how im going to be able to seek the help that i so desperately require.

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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 12:19 AM
  #47
I'm in the US and do therapy with a pdoc. I like it, and I like that my mental care is not split between two people.

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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 12:49 AM
  #48
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I'm in the US and do therapy with a pdoc. I like it, and I like that my mental care is not split between two people.

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That does sound useful. Too bad there aren't more pdocs who do therapy--it seems as though it would simplify things for the client. How old is your T? I wonder if it's mostly the older ones who don't do therapy? Of course, some of the pdocs I've had experience with would make lousy therapists, but some psychotherapists are lousy, too.

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Question Feb 17, 2014 at 06:05 AM
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That does sound useful. Too bad there aren't more pdocs who do therapy--it seems as though it would simplify things for the client. How old is your T? I wonder if it's mostly the older ones who don't do therapy? Of course, some of the pdocs I've had experience with would make lousy therapists, but some psychotherapists are lousy, too.

What exactly is a pdoc ?

Have never heard of this term in Australia.

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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 07:00 AM
  #50
If you go on the TELL website there is a huge list of books that will help. If you contact them you will get amazing support and understanding (I did)
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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 07:23 AM
  #51
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If you go on the TELL website there is a huge list of books that will help. If you contact them you will get amazing support and understanding (I did)

Thanks nicoleflynn,

Do you have the link handy? Tried Google but nothing comes up?

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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 08:26 AM
  #52
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Thanks nicoleflynn,

Do you have the link handy? Tried Google but nothing comes up?

Hello LizzieVale-

I can't access the link right now to provide for you but if you type in 'therapy abuse' and 'TELL' the site should come up.
I am so sorry about the abuse that you endured. I am still trying to recover from my experiences. I think TELL is a good place for support, as is this forum. Please don't hesitate to message me if you ever want to talk about this or anything else. I wish you peace and happiness.
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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 08:37 AM
  #53
Tamec. He's actually more on the young side. I hope its a sign that psychiatrists are starting to shift back a bit. I mean, who wants to kill themselves in medical school to essentially be a pill pusher? It's sad, there is so much more to healing the mind than that.

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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 01:30 PM
  #54
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Tamec. He's actually more on the young side. I hope its a sign that psychiatrists are starting to shift back a bit. I mean, who wants to kill themselves in medical school to essentially be a pill pusher? It's sad, there is so much more to healing the mind than that.

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Thanks for this. I hope it's a positive sign, too. I know in general there is a better emphasis on patient-centered care in med school than there used to be. The pdoc I see started out as a pharmacist, then went to school to become a D.O. (osteopath). He is probably in his early to mid-40's, and he works through my county human services. He has scheduled a little extra time for me these past 6 months, because he knows I am going through a transition and grieving. I like him and I think he's a good, compassionate listener. He might make a good T, but he is limited in his availability and in his role with the county.

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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 01:33 PM
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What exactly is a pdoc ?

Have never heard of this term in Australia.
Pdoc is short for psychiatrist.

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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 03:09 PM
  #56
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In this this next statement Im trying to work out if this is that what i did? What exactly is "dissociating"?

"After any sexual contact, I usually felt spaced out and “floaty.” At the time, I simply thought I was “blissed out” on our lovemaking. It never occurred to me I might be dissociating. My out-of-body state masked any feelings of pain, discomfort, or distress so that everything looked perfectly rosy.
I could try to give you lots of info on dissociation, but I think you might find it best to google "dissociation". There are many different aspects, and not all apply to every person. It can range from mild daydreaming, to feeling disconnected from your body, things around you feeling unreal, and many other symptoms. If you read up on it, I'm sure you'll start to understand it more, and may be able to relate to some of it.

Keep posting. We're here for you.

P.S. Have you thought about telling your current therapist that you need more help from him in dealing with your emotions about this? If you aren't easily able to switch therapists, it might be productive to let this one know what you need more of.

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Default Feb 17, 2014 at 04:03 PM
  #57
Here you go - it took me a long time to email them, but I'm very glad I did. TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line
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Heart Feb 17, 2014 at 11:41 PM
  #58
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Here you go - it took me a long time to email them, but I'm very glad I did. TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line
Awww thank you for going yo so much trouble for me Topiarysurvivor hugs xx
It's comforting to know that somewhere in the world someone care and genuinely wants to help. Blessings to you xx

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Default Feb 18, 2014 at 02:36 AM
  #59
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Hello LizzieVale-

I can't access the link right now to provide for you but if you type in 'therapy abuse' and 'TELL' the site should come up.
I am so sorry about the abuse that you endured. I am still trying to recover from my experiences. I think TELL is a good place for support, as is this forum. Please don't hesitate to message me if you ever want to talk about this or anything else. I wish you peace and happiness.

Sorry for my post-I wish I had more useful things to say.
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Default Feb 18, 2014 at 07:02 AM
  #60
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Sorry for my post-I wish I had more useful things to say.
Gosh nooooo CrimsonBlues, please dont ever apologise. You dont realise just how much you and everyone else on this forum help just by being here and understanding the feelings that im going through.
It is me that should be thanking you for allowing me post without fear nor judgement

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