i must have ruined my therapy

TeaVicar? · Aug 30, 2018 at 05:18 PM

The problem with him trying to divert you away from talking about your sexual feelings, is that it might give you the message that your feelings are too much or not ok, which is the opposite of what you need to hear.

Also, using the term 'wrong path', suggests that having sexual or loving feelings towards him are/were bad or wrong, which again is not helpful. I wonder if he felt uneasy because of his own feelings?

I'm glad things are getting better. A paper I read years ago compared the relationship between male therapist and female patient to that of father and adolescent daughter, which I can relate to.

Sep 01, 2018 at 11:03 AM

Yes I'll have to get further clarification from him.

There were many times where we had these discussions lightly, but it was when I felt things more intensely and the sessions were more focused on these feelings when he diverted me off the wrong path (whatever that is).

Sep 02, 2018 at 09:26 AM

Forgot to say that he told me that my trauma history is a lot worse than he is used to in comparison with his other clients. I think that had something to do with his reactions since it was part of the conversation.

DaisyCat3 · Sep 04, 2018 at 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guileless

Sorry you were in a similar situation.

I'm close to concluding any problems were due to his own issues, but knowing this rationally doesn't resolve it. We had a major rupture and although I tried to work through it, I never went back and just decided to end abruptly.

I thought I was over it, but it (how his behaviors or feelings affected me) keeps seeping back in. I'm in this strange limbo where I want to get past it and put it behind me, but at the same time, feel I need to work it out with him to get past it.

At other times, it's like a rollercoaster where sometimes I think I can figure it out myself; then other times I think I need to resolve it directly with him. I'm a the point where I'm trying to decide whether or not to resume the therapy to resolve the issue. The risk is that I could be worse off from doing so.

Could you try one session with another therapist to talk about it? I don't know if it works that way. Sounds like a hard situation. Hugs.

Sep 04, 2018 at 09:36 PM

Thanks.
I tried another therapist, but it was just boring. I didn't click with him at all.
Things are working better with us now, and I have been seeing him again.

Fuzzybear · Oct 06, 2018 at 02:27 PM

“The wrong path” - no idea even what that is. And I doubt if they do either.

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Anonymous56789 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 01, 2018 at 11:03 AM #22 Yes I'll have to get further clarification from him. There were many times where we had these discussions lightly, but it was when I felt things more intensely and the sessions were more focused on these feelings when he diverted me off the wrong path (whatever that is).
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Anonymous56789 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 02, 2018 at 09:26 AM #23 Forgot to say that he told me that my trauma history is a lot worse than he is used to in comparison with his other clients. I think that had something to do with his reactions since it was part of the conversation.
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Anonymous56789 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 04, 2018 at 09:36 PM #25 Thanks. I tried another therapist, but it was just boring. I didn't click with him at all. Things are working better with us now, and I have been seeing him again.
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Oct 06, 2018 at 02:27 PM #26 “The wrong path” - no idea even what that is. And I doubt if they do either. __________________
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