[DP_2017]

Do you literally tell them everything you feel about them, no matter how awkward or tough? Is there things you don't say? Do you find the more romantic/love type stuff harder than just regular attachment?

[feileacan]

For me, my feelings for T are not the difficult subject to discuss. I have told him that I love him, I have told him that I know that he loves me (and he agreed), I have told him that I hate him and I want to kill him, I have told him that I would be willing to give up everything in my life to just to be his baby, I have told him dreams about him with sexual connotation, I have told him that I want to cut off his penis, I have told him about a fantasy of being forced to f... with him etc etc.

Maybe these things were difficult in the first year of my therapy but for now, there are many things that are far more difficult. Talking about what I do in my life, with whom I relate, how I do that, what I think about myself and these other people is far more difficult. For instance, I haven't been able to tell my T that I read and write in PC and even thinking about telling him what I write here or giving him to read my posts just seems so impossible to me - it instantly sends me swimming into an ocean of shame.

[DP_2017]

Wow, that's some bold things you said, I had to LOL at the penis part. Did he have an interesting reaction to that?

I only told my T I loved him, everything else seems too weird or shameful so I don't say anything.

[toomanycats]

Thus far, I've told him everything

[Fuzzybear]

No I do not tell them everything. I don’t enjoy being bitten.

(Disclaimer. This is just my experience with a few sub optimal therapists )

For therapy to work at all, the therapist is supposed to accept the clients feelings even if difficult.

But some therapists are not trained to work with transference.

[MermaidLove2018]

I think my Therapist is very beautiful & I admire some of the things she say. But with me being a women id be too afraid to tell her, it would freak me out. With me having anxiety I would probably drive myself nuts in my head if I did ever share that with her.

But on a different note, I tell her everything that goes on in my life. I look at it in a different way I guess lol

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Wow, that's some bold things you said, I had to LOL at the penis part. Did he have an interesting reaction to that?

Oh, I think I actually said that I want to cut off his penis and throw it away. In response he just mentioned (not as a question but rather as a statement/suggestion/interpretation/agreement with me) that "right, this is the most useless part of me".

I only told my T I loved him, everything else seems too weird or shameful so I don't say anything.

I understand the shame. My very core is just a cloud of shame. Although saying my feelings I know about is not shameful for me (and there are very few feelings I know about), telling anything else is enormously so (even as something as simple as what I ate for breakfast). So I think I understand your shame.

[SummerTime12]

I feel too embarrassed to talk about regular attachment stuff like wanting to see him, caring about him, missing him etc., but for whatever reason I am able to talk about feeling attracted to him. I guess it kind of feels less vulnerable. I haven’t gone into any details though, but I think I might soon

[junkDNA]

he knows it all

[Mike_J]

I have told my therapist everything, and even proposed once, OK twice

[DP_2017]

Wow Mike

Super brave. How did she handle that?

[MoxieDoxie]

If he asked me I would tell him. This is want I would say.

My child parts love you. They fantasies about you being their father or being adopted by you. They fantasies about you taking care of them. Tucking them into bed, reading them a story, making them breakfast, and punishing them in the correct manner if need be.

My teenager parts love you: They fantasies about you teaching them to drive, having heart to heart talks with them when they act out or misbehave or when they are confused about their place in this world.

My adult self loves you: She fantasies about being equal with you. Going out to social events with your wife, coming to your kids parties. This parts does not feel any type of yearning. Just a simple friendship. Realizing you are good people.

My senior self loves you: I fantasies about taking care of you when you are sick, cooking you dinner, doing your laundry.

When all my parts love you this is how I know you have treated the "whole person" in therapy. Not just one part. You see it, you get it and when you do not you research and ask peers to help you help me.

I have not told him I loved him but I would if he asked. I do not feel the need to have to tell him.

[Lemoncake]

I became more open with time. I told him that I loved him after 5 months. I've also said that child part aged 7 wanted to marry him. That I wanted him to love me not just like me. With my oldest part we've talked about THE sexual fantasy, so after that all of that I feel like I can say anything now.

[Calla lily12]

I've told him I love him like a family member. I said I wished I was his daughter. He told me I was as close to him as a daughter.

[junkDNA]

pretty much but I had to work to get to that point... first 5-6 years I was not able to articulate much to T especially regarding our therapeutic relationship

over time tho I've grown to trust T and am pretty open with him about everything. he is so good about it too.... which helps a lot. he's been my rock for a long time now, but I'm starting to venture out finally