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Old 11-09-2018, 12:49 PM #21
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Default Re: Sexual relationship with T

I had sex with my t too. Its ended badly like all my relationships. I dont think that it was because he was my t but because he was married. Being lover of married man very often ends badly.
I still cant understand what is transference if you meet someone who helps you when you are desperate. If t has no boundaries you cant feel it like therapy. No he didnt sleep with other clients, only with me and sure his wife who has never been his patient. They say if t sleeps with you, he sleeps with another clients too but no.. Maybe he will but I think two women is enough. Its nothing more then "he had crisis in marriage so he slept with another woman".
I dont know about other Ts but if you work too much and have only wife and job and crisis in marriage, you probably would sleep with your attractive workmate or if you dont have one, maybe your client. Its easiest way.
I dont say its ok, I say my point of view about Ts who sleep with their clients. Every situation is different but I cant call this (sex) transference. People want sex. So simple.

I am sorry for everybody who had this sad experience. Im losing my mind too because of him now
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Old 11-09-2018, 01:50 PM #22
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Hope people consider your experience. Started in an ongoing therapy group just as it was unveiled that a member had been hospitalized. Seems she had a sexual relationship with her T - known to all for a significant length of time. Bad breakup. She told someone. The T denied it, hospitalized her, giving her severe diagnoses. Every meeting was a list of further developing horrific events.....heavy meds, legal commitment etc. I left before the story ended but I don't think there was a chance it ended well for her.
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Old 11-09-2018, 01:54 PM #23
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Default Re: Sexual relationship with T

To me, sex with a therapist would be like the incest and abuse I already grew up in.

Same power dynamic & everything with the therapist taking advantage of someone (their client) in a vulnerable state.

So NOT okay!!!

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Old 11-09-2018, 04:51 PM #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl from Europe View Post
I'm with You on this. I think above all, we are not only therapist - patient, but simply a man-woman and we are interacting with each other also on this level, so if something happened between me and my T after finishing my therapy with him, I would take the responsibility for this either.
I agree. Responsibility is from both sides.

When Im mad I want to report my t but.. I know its way to do revenge for hurting me and leaving me but honestly if I did it, I would just damage his life and got nothing. I wanted to sleep with him. It wasnt abuse. It was just unhealthy relationship between man and woman.
If I reported him, it wouldnt be honest. I hope I will get over this without hate. Hate and revenge destroy the person who feels hate. I am not God to judge him.
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Old 11-10-2018, 05:49 AM #25
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ugh God. ****ing toxic
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Old 11-10-2018, 09:11 AM #26
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Default Re: Sexual relationship with T

Quote:
Originally Posted by lunatic soul View Post
I agree. Responsibility is from both sides.

When Im mad I want to report my t but.. I know its way to do revenge for hurting me and leaving me but honestly if I did it, I would just damage his life and got nothing. I wanted to sleep with him. It wasnt abuse. It was just unhealthy relationship between man and woman.
If I reported him, it wouldnt be honest. I hope I will get over this without hate. Hate and revenge destroy the person who feels hate. I am not God to judge him.
It absolutely was abuse. No matter how much you wanted to, it the onus was 100% on him to make sure it didnít happen.

It took me a long time to believe and accept that. I hope one day you will too.
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Old 11-10-2018, 11:52 AM #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunatic soul View Post
I agree. Responsibility is from both sides.

When Im mad I want to report my t but.. I know its way to do revenge for hurting me and leaving me but honestly if I did it, I would just damage his life and got nothing. I wanted to sleep with him. It wasnt abuse. It was just unhealthy relationship between man and woman.
If I reported him, it wouldnt be honest. I hope I will get over this without hate. Hate and revenge destroy the person who feels hate. I am not God to judge him.
You are hurting and in pain. He was trained to know that a sexual relationship with a client would possibly/likely hurt the client. He knew this. It was his responsibility to say no even if you wanted it. Not yours.

Report vs. donít report. At least understand it was his responsibility to keep your best interest in mind. He didnít, but he should have. And he knows it.

Not your fault. Not even if you begged, cajoled, or undressed in front of him. Not your fault..itís his responsibility.
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Old 11-10-2018, 12:50 PM #28
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Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
It absolutely was abuse. No matter how much you wanted to, it the onus was 100% on him to make sure it didnít happen.
I agree it is 100% on the therapist to make sure it does not happen no matter how much the client wants it or how much he wants it. The minute he felt a ANY countertransference on his part ,that he could not let go of, he should have referred you out.
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When a childís emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the childís development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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Old 11-10-2018, 04:50 PM #29
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Default Re: Sexual relationship with T

I for one do not ever put responsibility on someone else if I had a willing part in it. I truly don't care what rules say or what job someone has. I'll never put responsibility on someone else in a case where I was willingly part.

This hasn't happened to me nor would it but I'm just merely saying in a hypothetical thing. I don't like people telling me who i should blame etc. I will decide that myself
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Old 11-10-2018, 06:57 PM #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
I for one do not ever put responsibility on someone else if I had a willing part in it. I truly don't care what rules say or what job someone has. I'll never put responsibility on someone else in a case where I was willingly part.

This hasn't happened to me nor would it but I'm just merely saying in a hypothetical thing. I don't like people telling me who i should blame etc. I will decide that myself
The law in most states.....says that sex with a client is a felony.
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