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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
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#1
In 20 months WITH my T, I had 1 sexual dream and it was after a pretty graphic discussion in session, so I didn't think much of it. In my heart and mind, he remained friend like to me. That's the big connection I always felt and wanted.
Since he has left, 41 days ago, I've had several sexual dreams/fantasies about him and some quite graphic. LT mentioned once to me that it's likely a way to keep the connection with him or a way to still desire that closeness, which makes sense. I'm not ashamed of it or freaked out by it. The problem is, I'm unsure how to stop it.... I don't like thinking of him this way. I don't like deluding my mind into things that would never happen. I also prefer to keep our memories as fiendlike and such. It's been hard to go back and think of those good times because I'm so distracted by these thoughts now. Any advice? And please, no seeing a new T advice, therapy is not for me. I'm fine on my own and it's how I will continue going forward.... there has to be ways to do this without therapy. The weird thing is, we finally were close enough in our relationship, these dreams would have been part of a casual chat with us on a walk or something, nothing I over thought or second guessed. Kinda wish it had happened when he was there to talk to about it. __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Guest
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#2
Maybe you could contact him to discuss it? Sounds like you are comfortable enough with him to do that. It might be what you need to put it to rest.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
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#3
I can't talk to him for 2 years
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#4
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
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#5
I don't think this is something you can make go away, though I understand it's distressing for you. Hopefully it's an issue that will dad with time.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
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#6
Ya it sucks. He isn't even a t anymore but since he chose to renew license anyway his enforcing this as best practice
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: in the parlour.
Posts: 353
9 99 hugs
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#7
Maybe it's part of your grieving process. Not much you can do I'm afraid, except accept them for what they are. I'm sorry this is so painful for you.
__________________ "It is a joy to be hidden but a disaster not to be found." D.W. Winnicott |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
given ![]() |
#8
I plan to openly talk about this if i I continue with the other therapists next week. So maybe it will help, idk
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
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#9
having sexual dreams about someone is thought to mean that you wish to feel closer and more connected to them
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