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Old 01-24-2019, 03:11 PM   #1
DP_2017
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Default Sexual feelings after therapy

In 20 months WITH my T, I had 1 sexual dream and it was after a pretty graphic discussion in session, so I didn't think much of it. In my heart and mind, he remained friend like to me. That's the big connection I always felt and wanted.

Since he has left, 41 days ago, I've had several sexual dreams/fantasies about him and some quite graphic. LT mentioned once to me that it's likely a way to keep the connection with him or a way to still desire that closeness, which makes sense. I'm not ashamed of it or freaked out by it.

The problem is, I'm unsure how to stop it.... I don't like thinking of him this way. I don't like deluding my mind into things that would never happen. I also prefer to keep our memories as fiendlike and such. It's been hard to go back and think of those good times because I'm so distracted by these thoughts now. Any advice?

And please, no seeing a new T advice, therapy is not for me. I'm fine on my own and it's how I will continue going forward.... there has to be ways to do this without therapy. The weird thing is, we finally were close enough in our relationship, these dreams would have been part of a casual chat with us on a walk or something, nothing I over thought or second guessed. Kinda wish it had happened when he was there to talk to about it.
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Old 01-24-2019, 06:11 PM   #2
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Default Re: Sexual feelings after therapy

Maybe you could contact him to discuss it? Sounds like you are comfortable enough with him to do that. It might be what you need to put it to rest.
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Old 01-24-2019, 06:16 PM   #3
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Default Re: Sexual feelings after therapy

I can't talk to him for 2 years
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Old 01-24-2019, 06:28 PM   #4
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Default Re: Sexual feelings after therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
I can't talk to him for 2 years
That's crappy. A fine example on why ethics rules are a foul. Sounds like in your case, it would only be a benefit to work this out with him directly.
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Old 01-24-2019, 06:31 PM   #5
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Default Re: Sexual feelings after therapy

I don't think this is something you can make go away, though I understand it's distressing for you. Hopefully it's an issue that will dad with time.
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Old 01-24-2019, 07:01 PM   #6
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Default Re: Sexual feelings after therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemo1934 View Post
That's crappy. A fine example on why ethics rules are a foul. Sounds like in your case, it would only be a benefit to work this out with him directly.
Ya it sucks. He isn't even a t anymore but since he chose to renew license anyway his enforcing this as best practice
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:57 PM   #7
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Default Re: Sexual feelings after therapy

Maybe it's part of your grieving process. Not much you can do I'm afraid, except accept them for what they are. I'm sorry this is so painful for you.
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Old 01-30-2019, 07:33 PM   #8
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Default Re: Sexual feelings after therapy

I plan to openly talk about this if i I continue with the other therapists next week. So maybe it will help, idk
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Old 02-01-2019, 03:54 AM   #9
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Default Re: Sexual feelings after therapy

having sexual dreams about someone is thought to mean that you wish to feel closer and more connected to them
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