advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
precaryous
Inner Space Traveler
 
precaryous's Avatar
precaryous Line them up.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
8 yr Member
8,141 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 27, 2019 at 03:23 PM
  #1
If you’ve ever been exploited by a therapist, would it help your healing to talk/email etc., with the T’s other similar victims?

(If it was possible.)

The therapist in my case had several other victims and I’m thinking of trying to find them.
precaryous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
nicoleflynn
Grand Magnate
nicoleflynn has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
10 yr Member
60 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 07:02 AM
  #2
Yes, it would help.
nicoleflynn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
precaryous
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous
Parva
Member
 
Parva's Avatar
Parva has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2015
Location: East Coast of US
Posts: 233
8 yr Member
156 hugs
given
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 09:07 AM
  #3
I'd rather just get a ****ing apology from my therapist. You know, while she continues on in her wonderful, high profile career.

Sorry about that. I would have to think about what the goals were for talking with other victims.

__________________
"You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." - Brene Brown
Parva is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
precaryous
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous
precaryous
Inner Space Traveler
 
precaryous's Avatar
precaryous Line them up.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
8 yr Member
8,141 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 10:29 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parva View Post
I'd rather just get a ****ing apology from my therapist. You know, while she continues on in her wonderful, high profile career.

Sorry about that. I would have to think about what the goals were for talking with other victims.
Yes, I agree. A heartfelt apology from the therapist would go a long way. But he will never admit what he did in a million years. We tried having a mediation after the dust had settled but his lawyer replied something like ..no, because it wouldn’t end up in my best interest...as if he *ever* really cared about my best interest.

I’m not clear on why I want to talk to other victims. We weren’t allowed to talk to each other at the time. I think I would be looking for similarities in our experiences, new insights, seeing him from a different point of view...

I would want to know why, out of seven of us (or more), only three cooperated with the medical board.

He was arrested but never criminally prosecuted, and I don’t know why?
I want to know if the last victim decided not to cooperate with the police to prosecute him after his arrest..or if she knows why he was never prosecuted after his arrest.

I want to know if there are more than seven of us.

There are probably other reasons.

I’m angry. At the time, I remember feeling shocked, scared, out of control, exhausted. I hadn’t had the opportunity to look at the entire scope of what happened and express anger about it. I wasn’t allowed to talk to him at his deposition. I have never been in a place where I have been able to let him know how angry I am.

In the beginning, I thought he had just made a mistake with me and I felt ambivilant. Knowing what I know now, I see he acted purposefully. I was a ‘mark.’ And I’m very angry that he chose to get his needs met by damaging me, my family and all the secondary victims in my circle...and trying to make it *my* fault. The damage he caused has lasted for years.

I’m curious how his other victims have handled the damage..or if they haven’t.

Last edited by precaryous; Jan 28, 2019 at 10:50 AM..
precaryous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 10:36 AM
  #5
I don't think so, each person experiences things differently. Just because you had similar experiences doesnt mean you have similar reactions or feelings. I'd rather talk to a uninvolved 3rd party

i'm unsure how you can find that info anyway, isn't it confidential ?

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous
precaryous
Inner Space Traveler
 
precaryous's Avatar
precaryous Line them up.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
8 yr Member
8,141 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 10:53 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
I don't think so, each person experiences things differently. Just because you had similar experiences doesnt mean you have similar reactions or feelings. I'd rather talk to a uninvolved 3rd party

i'm unsure how you can find that info anyway, isn't it confidential ?
I found another way that doesn’t involve confidentiality.

Last edited by precaryous; Jan 28, 2019 at 12:07 PM..
precaryous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
susannahsays
Grand Magnate
 
susannahsays's Avatar
susannahsays is fed up.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 yr Member
1 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 11:06 AM
  #7
Well, it honestly sounds a bit like you want to demand answers from the other victims. While it's unfair that he wasn't brought to justice, I don't think it would be ok to approach the other victims in your search for answers about why that is. I'm not sure how you could find the other victims in a way that would circumvent confidentiality. They have a right to their privacy, even from a fellow victim.
susannahsays is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
precaryous
Inner Space Traveler
 
precaryous's Avatar
precaryous Line them up.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
8 yr Member
8,141 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 11:08 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
I don't think so, each person experiences things differently. Just because you had similar experiences doesnt mean you have similar reactions or feelings. I'd rather talk to a uninvolved 3rd party

i'm unsure how you can find that info anyway, isn't it confidential ?
Also,
If their reactions and feelings are different from mine I would like to know what they are.
If they’ve learned something useful that’s helped them, maybe it would help me, too.
precaryous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
precaryous
Inner Space Traveler
 
precaryous's Avatar
precaryous Line them up.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
8 yr Member
8,141 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 11:35 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
Well, it honestly sounds a bit like you want to demand answers from the other victims. While it's unfair that he wasn't brought to justice, I don't think it would be ok to approach the other victims in your search for answers about why that is. I'm not sure how you could find the other victims in a way that would circumvent confidentiality. They have a right to their privacy, even from a fellow victim.
I agree they have a right to their privacy.
I’m not demanding answers from anyone. Someone queried what goals I might have for talking with them. I just wrote down a few questions off the top of my head. Of course, I would rephrase them or not ask them at all, depending.

Confidentiality will be maintained: I still won’t know who they are unless they reach out to me.

Likely, too much time has passed and I won’t be contacted by anyone.

Last edited by precaryous; Jan 28, 2019 at 11:50 AM..
precaryous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
blackocean
blackocean
Member
blackocean has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 244
5 yr Member
28 hugs
given
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 01:15 PM
  #10
I think that reaching out is ok. If they don’t want to connect then they will decline or just ignore but if one was alsl hoping to connect then she will be grateful. I haven’t been there but i could se wanting to connect with others to feel less alone
blackocean is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous
downandlonely
Legendary
 
downandlonely's Avatar
downandlonely has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
10.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 01:17 PM
  #11
I think connecting is a good idea. I go to a support group where I can talk to other people with mental illness. Our experiences are all somewhat different, but we do have some common ground. It's nice to talk to someone who has been there and understands what you're going through. So I understand why you want to do this.
downandlonely is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous
Topiarysurvivor
Member
Topiarysurvivor has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 459
10 yr Member
42 hugs
given
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 08:14 PM
  #12
I would want to make sure that they didn’t feel violated that I had found them . Just thinking that they might think that if you know, others might.

An article I read somewhere said that finding other survivors of the exploitative T was both the survivor’s dream , and her nightmare. That pretty much sums it up for me. My subsequent therapist prepared me for discovering that there may be others because my Ex ex T was “too good at it” for it to be the first time.
Topiarysurvivor is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous
precaryous
Inner Space Traveler
 
precaryous's Avatar
precaryous Line them up.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
8 yr Member
8,141 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 28, 2019 at 09:03 PM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Topiarysurvivor View Post
I would want to make sure that they didn’t feel violated that I had found them . Just thinking that they might think that if you know, others might.

An article I read somewhere said that finding other survivors of the exploitative T was both the survivor’s dream , and her nightmare. That pretty much sums it up for me. My subsequent therapist prepared me for discovering that there may be others because my Ex ex T was “too good at it” for it to be the first time.
I should have explained better: I ‘put the word out’ so to speak. They may hear about it, they may not. They can chose to reply or not.

I’m not finding them. I have no secret way to find their names.

Confidentiality will be maintained.
Thank you for the information.
precaryous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
susannahsays
Topiarysurvivor
Member
Topiarysurvivor has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 459
10 yr Member
42 hugs
given
Default Feb 01, 2019 at 08:05 PM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by precaryous View Post
I should have explained better: I ‘put the word out’ so to speak. They may hear about it, they may not. They can chose to reply or not.

I’m not finding them. I have no secret way to find their names.

Confidentiality will be maintained.
Thank you for the information.
That IS different. I would love to figure out how to do that. And know how your effort turns out. Your question is one I think about a lot, so I probably twisted it a bit.
Topiarysurvivor is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
precaryous
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous
Ididitmyway
Magnate
 
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
10 yr Member
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 01, 2019 at 10:07 PM
  #15
Yes, it'd help me to talk to other victims of my two abusive therapists.

I wouldn't see anything wrong with contacting them if I knew whom to contact. If they didn't want to talk I would respect that, but I don't believe that a simple contact, introduction and explanation from me would hurt anyone. I definitely wouldn't be hurt if anyone contacted me about this, even if I didn't want to talk. Yes, people have the right to privacy, and, as I said, if they clearly indicated that they needed to be left alone, I'd respect that. But not everyone has that need. It's quite possible that some of them would also want to connect to other victims and, like me, just don't know how. There is only one way to find out and that is to make the first contact if you know whom to contact. In fact, every single victim who told me their story said that they would love to talk to other victims of the same therapist. So, this desire is quite common.

But, I think, I wanted to connect much more in the aftermath of what happened than I do now. Now, I don't feel like trauma from that particular experience is operating within me as strongly as it was in the beginning. Some healing definitely took place, but not only that. To me the whole thing has much more to do with the whole profession and how it conducts its business than with this or that particular therapist who ****ed up. There is a lot of trauma left around having been hurt by the entire profession, that for sure, but not around the guy who screwed up. I think, it'd be interesting to talk to someone who was hurt by him in the similar way, but it's not important to me any more. I feel I've reached a closure on that experience and don't have the need to process it anymore. It was just a "thing" in my life that pointed out some of my life long issues I'd had before it happened and still have. These are the things I concentrate on, not the guy(s) who happened to appear on my life path to cause the destruction that ultimately woke me up, in a traumatic way, but still woke me up.

__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
precaryous
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous, Sheffield
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:55 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.