advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
SarahSweden
Grand Poohbah
SarahSweden has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,700
8 yr Member
219 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 07, 2019 at 04:14 PM
  #1
I know this is part of erotic transference for some clients, I occasionally think about former therapists and that they likely have masturbated in their life. Itīs not that I would want to be close to them in that way but I can sometimes find it "exctiting" to think about. Not randomly like on the bus but when on my own and thereīs a romantic scene in some movie or similar.


Perhaps it makes me feel theyīre human and more than just a therapist in their office. As an example I know one of my former therapist is living on her own, as she also did several years ago, and itīs likely she has those needs from time to time.


I let my thoughts go there sometimes as I know feeling ashamed wonīt make them go away.


Has anyone else experienced this?
SarahSweden is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Anonymous42961
Guest
Anonymous42961 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 07, 2019 at 04:29 PM
  #2
No! i used to have a pdoc who used to put his feet up on the desk and touch himself. i only saw him a half a dozen times.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
SarahSweden
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,968 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 07, 2019 at 04:40 PM
  #3
Ewww no
..

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
SarahSweden
TishaBuv
Legendary
TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,857 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 07, 2019 at 04:42 PM
  #4
Maybe your imagining them masturbating is your mind’s way of humanizing them, making them vulnerable.

I have no shame about letting my mind go to any fantasy about whatever floats my boat. Nobody else knows what you’re thinking.

__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017, SarahSweden
Anonymous52333
Guest
Anonymous52333 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 07, 2019 at 05:10 PM
  #5
Yes I do as a matter of fact, and I've got no shame about it. I find T very physically attractive, and a fantasy like that is pretty typical for me about people I feel physical attraction to.

I'd never bring it up to T as long as she's my T, but would have no problem discussing it if she asked me about my attraction... Which I'm positive she senses.

What I would have a difficult time discussing is the emotional attachment, which I consider a very separate subject from physical attraction.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
growlycat, SarahSweden
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 07, 2019 at 05:50 PM
  #6
I have in the past yea

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
growlycat, SarahSweden
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,695 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
74.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 08, 2019 at 07:02 AM
  #7
I've thought about it with my ex-MC and current T, both male. I've also wondered if they ever thought about me when they did that.
LonesomeTonight is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
captgut, SarahSweden
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 08, 2019 at 08:40 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I've also wondered if they ever thought about me when they did that.
My friend used to say she thought my T probably did based on things he said/did with me... however, I find it very hard to believe ANY guy would think of me for that.... they may think of me if they are vomiting but not that.

The other thing is, no doubt our male T's do it.... it's just not a rabbit hole I like to go down in my mind. I think it could make things super weird if so

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, SarahSweden
MoxieDoxie
Magnate
 
MoxieDoxie's Avatar
MoxieDoxie trust is a myth and caring is a painful lie
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
10 yr Member
365 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 12, 2019 at 07:50 AM
  #9
NO! Make it stop! I now have that image rolling around in my head and I never did before and it is not pleasant at all.

__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
MoxieDoxie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
SarahSweden
Grand Poohbah
SarahSweden has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,700
8 yr Member
219 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 12, 2019 at 05:53 PM
  #10
Thanks. Yes, I think it makes me feel more normal when thinking about like them masturbating or simple things like doing the dishes or taking the trash out. Itīs not that I specifically fantasize about them because theyīre therapists but more that I got attached to them. Thereīs also a frustration in this that I know I wonīt ever be "the person they chose". It's a bit irrational as I wouldnīt want them to be in real life, like being their partner.

But my latest therapist is married and knowing that she already has "all she wants" makes me think like she still might not always have good sex and she sometimes chooses to masturbate instead. Those arenīt thoughts I frequently think about but they come from a mix between longing and jealousy about her being married. That Iīll never be part of her life in that way.


Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Maybe your imagining them masturbating is your mind’s way of humanizing them, making them vulnerable.

I have no shame about letting my mind go to any fantasy about whatever floats my boat. Nobody else knows what you’re thinking.
SarahSweden is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017, LonesomeTonight
SarahSweden
Grand Poohbah
SarahSweden has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,700
8 yr Member
219 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 12, 2019 at 05:58 PM
  #11
Thanks. Yes, I think clients might pop up in therapists minds in intimate situations as well. I donīt think itīs as common as when clients think about their therapists but that therapists also find clients attractive sometimes, either physically or emotionally.

I though donīt think an ethical therapist consciously "chooses" clients to think about like a client might return to thoughts about their therapist when in intimate situations. But that thoughts about clients more randomly runs through their minds, I strongly believe that happens.


Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I've thought about it with my ex-MC and current T, both male. I've also wondered if they ever thought about me when they did that.
SarahSweden is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
SarahSweden
Grand Poohbah
SarahSweden has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,700
8 yr Member
219 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 12, 2019 at 06:06 PM
  #12
Thanks. One interesting part in this I think is that donīt you think your therapist or a therapist sometimes has thought about you or a client in such a way?

I personally donīt chose to see a male therapist partly because I would never be sure if he had such thoughts about me. I would always wonder if he "checked me out" when I left the office or similar, especially if he was single. And thatīs not at all because I see myself as attractive but because it for males, now very generally speaking, are more common to look at and be drawn to a woman figure than the other way around.

I have though noticed that female T:s or other counselors Iīve met reacts to some clothing Iīve wore but then I donīt see that in a similar sexual way (as none of my T:s has been homosexual). Then itīs more seeing someone in "some nice clothes" more than looking at my figure kind of thing.



Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
My friend used to say she thought my T probably did based on things he said/did with me... however, I find it very hard to believe ANY guy would think of me for that.... they may think of me if they are vomiting but not that.

The other thing is, no doubt our male T's do it.... it's just not a rabbit hole I like to go down in my mind. I think it could make things super weird if so
SarahSweden is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
coolibrarian
Poohbah
 
coolibrarian's Avatar
coolibrarian Coolibrarian is feeling anxious.
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,302
10 yr Member
1,041 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 13, 2019 at 06:46 PM
  #13
Sarah, how do you know that none of your Ts we're homosexual?

__________________
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. ;
coolibrarian is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
SarahSweden
SummerTime12
Grand Member
 
SummerTime12's Avatar
SummerTime12 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 874
10 yr Member
601 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 13, 2019 at 06:53 PM
  #14
Yeah I’ve definitely thought of this... and also like LT said, I wonder if he ever thinks of me during. It sucks being attracted to him.
SummerTime12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
 
Thanks for this!
SarahSweden
SarahSweden
Grand Poohbah
SarahSweden has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,700
8 yr Member
219 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 13, 2019 at 06:56 PM
  #15
Thanks. Because the first one had children and even is she was single I understood "between the lines" so to speak that she was straight. The second one actually told me she had had several relationships with men and my latest T who now abandoned me is married to a man. Even if the sexual orientation plays a minor part in my story about transference, I thought about the difference between having a male or female T.


Quote:
Originally Posted by coolibrarian View Post
Sarah, how do you know that none of your Ts we're homosexual?
SarahSweden is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
LabRat27
Poohbah
 
LabRat27's Avatar
LabRat27 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
5 yr Member
2,354 hugs
given
Default Mar 17, 2019 at 11:00 AM
  #16
Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden View Post
Thanks. Because the first one had children and even is she was single I understood "between the lines" so to speak that she was straight. The second one actually told me she had had several relationships with men and my latest T who now abandoned me is married to a man. Even if the sexual orientation plays a minor part in my story about transference, I thought about the difference between having a male or female T.
There are more than two possible sexual orientations Ŋ\_(ツ)_/Ŋ
LabRat27 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
blackocean, Echos Myron redux, fille_folle, kaleidoscopeheart, LonesomeTonight
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 17, 2019 at 11:42 AM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden View Post
Thanks. One interesting part in this I think is that donīt you think your therapist or a therapist sometimes has thought about you or a client in such a way?

I personally donīt chose to see a male therapist partly because I would never be sure if he had such thoughts about me. I would always wonder if he "checked me out" when I left the office or similar, especially if he was single. And thatīs not at all because I see myself as attractive but because it for males, now very generally speaking, are more common to look at and be drawn to a woman figure than the other way around.

I have though noticed that female T:s or other counselors Iīve met reacts to some clothing Iīve wore but then I donīt see that in a similar sexual way (as none of my T:s has been homosexual). Then itīs more seeing someone in "some nice clothes" more than looking at my figure kind of thing.
I don't think I'm sexually desirable to any man. I'm gross and that's that

I also highly doubt therapists actually think of clients while masturbating, I think it's more wishful thinking from a client view.... they have many other options to get off on, and ya it could happen from time to time with a client or two... but not common and I'd say most therapists never do

I'd be interested to hear therapists views on it but truly doubt it's anything more than wishful thinking from clients.

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
captgut, SarahSweden
SarahSweden
Grand Poohbah
SarahSweden has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,700
8 yr Member
219 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 06:37 PM
  #18
Thanks. I donīt mean in a sense that one of my former therapists would create fantasies about me and masturbate to them. More, like can happen to me, getting images flashing by seeing me or other clients when the therapist is in a sexual situation.


If a therapist has thought of a client because of something happening in therapy, a thought of a client could also be present when in a sexual situation. Not because it turns them on but more because masturbation or sex with another person involves a lot of different feelings, both joy and sometimes also sadness. That I think can bring forward memories or images of clients, even if very temporary.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
I don't think I'm sexually desirable to any man. I'm gross and that's that

I also highly doubt therapists actually think of clients while masturbating, I think it's more wishful thinking from a client view.... they have many other options to get off on, and ya it could happen from time to time with a client or two... but not common and I'd say most therapists never do

I'd be interested to hear therapists views on it but truly doubt it's anything more than wishful thinking from clients.
SarahSweden is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Echos Myron redux
Magnate
Echos Myron redux is vaccinated
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,157
5 yr Member
1,833 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 22, 2019 at 03:17 AM
  #19
Yes I've thought about it. I think it makes him seem more vulnerable and human as others have said. I also think it's quite natural to be curious about the sexuality of people you are close to. I think it's quite a young feeling, for me anyway.

As an aside, I have kids and I wouldn't call myself straight. I would call myself bi.
Echos Myron redux is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:31 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.