advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
EllieEm
New Member
EllieEm has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 3
3 yr Member
Default Apr 16, 2019 at 12:59 PM
  #1
So this is my first real post on PC, not including the intro post. I've been seeing my t for a few months now and the last month have had a mix of paternal and erotic transference that I find so confusing. I've read where a t will refuse to talk about it when brought to his/her attention, some referring the client out to another t. This would be devastating to me. But I've desperately wanted to tell him.

So today I told him I was starting to have transference. He smiled and I was so embarrassed. So I back petaled and said it was paternal... I'd mentioned awhile ago that I was very protective of my son, and he had said he too was protective of his children, which made my mind go to, he's such a good father, I wish I'd had that growing up instead of a child molester. Enter the paternal transference. But I couldn't admit to anything else, fearing he'd refer me out.

I asked him if this was common, and he said no, he's heard very little about it. Which made me feel worse. Isn't this common?! But then he clarified that transference is very common... which is uncommon, in his experience, is someone telling him about it. And he (once again) finds my honesty and openness refreshing. Which makes me love him even more, but then also make me feel guilty since I held back the main transference which is of course erotic. So much for being honest. I still want to tell him but don't think I can take the chance, too much to lose.
EllieEm is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, precaryous, SalingerEsme

advertisement
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 16, 2019 at 04:59 PM
  #2
I'm glad it worked out for you.

I remember my long term one telling me that he "suspected" he had other clients who felt similar but I was the only one who was honest about it. I liked knowing that.

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
EllieEm
New Member
EllieEm has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 3
3 yr Member
Default Apr 16, 2019 at 05:30 PM
  #3
I guess I do too, but I'd feel even better about it if I had been completely honest. But then I think I'd be freaking out about it right now if I had lol. Baby steps I suppose..
EllieEm is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
nicoleflynn
Grand Magnate
nicoleflynn has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
10 yr Member
60 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 17, 2019 at 06:56 AM
  #4
There is nothing to be embarrassed about; Ithink transference is just a fancy word for feelings. Yes, it is very common. We are drawn to someone who listens and cares.
nicoleflynn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:24 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.