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Jessica Hazlitt
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Jessica Hazlitt Missing T and missing therapy.
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 394
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Confused Sep 04, 2019 at 06:29 PM
  #1
I'm missing my T so much it's embarrassing quite frankly. There has been so much going on in the last few months I am about one phone call (from back home) away from losing it. I don't want to say / do something I'll regret and up until now I've kept the moral high ground, but the waters are rising around me.
Without having the room and T I don't have the space or peace I need to keep this up indefinitely. I wish we were still working together.

Also the reason I added it to this sub-forum is over the last few weeks my more inappropriate feelings for T have reared up again, to the point of being intrusive. I know fighting them doesn't work and neither does acting on them (sorry if TMI). I'm guessing this part is down to either my hormone sensitivity or due to the frustration of everything going on and looking for some pleasant relief or comfort.

I had assumed leading up to the end of therapy that I'd miss T more as a companion (not quite the word) but at the moment I'm missing working with him as a T the most. I'm worried if I get in touch with him I'll scupper any chance of working with him in the future. I sometimes wish I was p!ssed at him for making me go, would maybe be easier now? How do you deal with needing T when they gave up?
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Default Sep 05, 2019 at 10:37 AM
  #2
I'm not sure what the situation with your T is and why you can't see him anymore -I take it he wanted to end the alliance with you? That must have been agonisingly painful. All I can say is that I grieved for a T relationship for a different reason and I know you can get through it, it's horrible and painful and you don't think you will cope, but somehow you do and you come through the other side where it doesn't hurt so much anymore and you can move on whilst retaining the part of the relationship that has maybe helped you grow, or you allow the grieving to take you to what you wish the relationship had been like. Either way, you process and come to terms and it does truly ease over time.

It may be your work with this T isn't finished and if so that's a decision for you to make if you can weigh up whether it would be beneficial to work with him again, and if so what the goals and outcome might look like.

Any intense feelings for a T are bloody hard, romantic or otherwise, it's the nature of that kind of relationship where you're given the space to be and fantasise about how things might be. It makes sense that you miss him as T. I think deep down most clients wouldn't want their T to be anything else to them because you lose the space that makes the alliance so unique and special.
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Thanks for this!
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