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scarcejoy
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Member Since: Jan 2016
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Default Oct 30, 2019 at 02:38 AM
  #1
It has been a year since my previous therapist and I had our last session. Since then it has not gotten much easier for me. I think about her every week and my loving feelings toward her persist. I did not tell her everything when I talked to her about transference. I was too embarrassed to say “I love you.” I was too embarrassed to tell her how much she means for me romantically and that she has a special place in my heart. I was too embarrassed to say how beautiful and elegant she looks. I was too focused on not humiliating myself and risk judgment.

One year has past by and my feelings still feel just as intense as last year. I have trouble sleeping because I think about her. One of the reasons why I am attracted to her is because she is the type of woman I want. Someone that accepts me despite my many flaws. She holds me accountable for things. She’s also attractive. She made me feel so special and valuable. I fantasize about going on dates with her. I imagine myself greeting each other and talking about how things have been since I out last session. What hurts me is that I think that there’s a high chance that I never see her. It is so hard to live life without the person that I love the most. I wish I didn’t think about her so often but I have trouble stopping. I wish she knew how I love her!
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Default Nov 01, 2019 at 07:22 AM
  #2
It sounds like the feelings you have for your therapist were never worked through with her and understood. Is there any way you could go back and see her, or if not see another therapist? If the feelings are this intense that you can't move on it suggests that more work needs to be done on understanding where they are coming from and coming to terms with what they mean and transforming them into something positive for your life. If you can't see your former T then it might help to see someone else and work through them there.
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