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Poohbah
Lonelyinmyheart
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Member Since: Jun 2019
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#1
I know that at some point I will have to be open and honest about the fact my feelings for my same sex T have erotic undertones.
She knows I feel very strongly about her emotionally and she understands this. We have talked about it quite a few times now. She is always very empathic and does not shy away from difficult feelings and conversations. To be honest, if there was ever a T I felt I could share having sexual feelings for, it would be her, 100%. This doesn't make it easy though...but if it's interfering with the prospect of being in relationships with others in life, then I feel it's important to share and work through. I'm hoping that in the sharing, the feelings may start to become less intense. But it still feels more or less impossible. It's a very frightening prospect because I don't want anything to change what I have with her or to make her feel badly of me. I need to tell her though. I need to, at some point, say that I feel really attracted to her in a physical way even though I'm a heterosexual female and I want to work with this and look at why these feelings are so incredibly intense, especially as it's not the first time I've felt like this about a woman. |
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*Beth*, chihirochild, Lindsey-Bergin, LonesomeTonight, Purple,Violet,Blue
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Blueberry21
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Grand Magnate
susannahsays
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Member Since: Jun 2018
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#2
If it's not the first time you've felt like this about a woman, maybe you're not heterosexual. It's ok if you're not, you know. I'm definitely not trying to define your sexuality for you - please just be careful that you aren't pathologizing sexual feelings towards women due to internalized homophobia. That would be an easy trap to fall into.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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LonesomeTonight
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Magnate
Purple,Violet,Blue
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#3
I sympathise, having avoided having a therapist of the gender I'm attracted to.
For me, it would have taken the therapy down an unnecessarily distracting route. But I've learned from this forum that love and attraction for a t can be useful. I can see now that, in some cases, the environment is a genuinely safe space to try things out / act things out / express strong emotions of all kinds. It sounds like you have that with your t. I wouldn't worry about putting a label on anything. As Sussanahsays mentioned, keep an eye on not demonising any particular ways of being. Just try it. You might like it! If not, try something else! |
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Poohbah
Lonelyinmyheart
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Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: Earth
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#4
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LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Lonelyinmyheart
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Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,093
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#5
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Blueberry21
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Rustyfinger
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#6
Hi,
I wish you good luck and hope that you don't get hurt. It doesn't that your T is going to do it though, from the stuff that you write. You're pretty bold. I also get attracted with people on authority (all women). I wouldn't tell mine about that...but...I guess that she is aware. I mean, I told that I like her, yes. But, I haven't told her anything about desire, etc. Best wishes! |
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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Lonelyinmyheart
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Poohbah
Lonelyinmyheart
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Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,093
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#7
I was able to tell her. I skirted around the sexual stuff a little bit but she completely got it. Telling her was actually a beautiful experience.
I feel that something has settled inside me a little bit now I've managed to tell her how deep and overwhelming my feelings for her are, and had them accepted and understood. I'm sure we will address them more over time and in different ways, but I got out what I've needed to say for a while. I wish this was the case for everyone who is struggling with difficult (not necessarily sexual or romantic) feelings for a therapist. |
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LonesomeTonight, precaryous, Purple,Violet,Blue
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*Beth*
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
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#8
I'm so glad you were able to tell her and that she reacted well. I know what you mean about the settled feeling--I recall having that with ex-MC when I initially shared my feelings with him.
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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Lonelyinmyheart
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Poohbah
Lonelyinmyheart
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Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,093
1,732 hugs
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#9
Thanks LT. These feelings can be so powerful can't they. After the awkwardness of telling my T her first response was that she knew, which made me think I'm more transparent than I think I am when it comes to these kinds of feelings, as long as T is open to them, which she was (and I knew she would be).
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LonesomeTonight, Purple,Violet,Blue
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