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Old 07-28-2009, 08:56 PM #41
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Default Re: suicidal posts

Nothing personal or disrespectful here but I don't know what words to substitute for suicidal. Sometimes I am dense so please forgive my ignorance.

I have tried to seek help when I have felt suicidal but for me it was not simple nor effective.

An example - in 1989 I had postpartum depression and called my gyn/ob doc and told him I was severely depressed. His response - drink a beer. Seriously, that is the advice he gave me. Two days after I called him I attempted suicide but it failed.

In 2007 I was very manic for a few days and then within several hours my mood went from flying high to rock bottom. I called my psychiatrist's office and then went to his office to wait until he could work me in. After waiting awhile his office worker told me to go home and he would call me later that evening. He never called. The next day I returned to his office and they said he would not be in the office that day. I felt abandoned. So I bought some orange juice and vodka and started drinking which was a part of my suicide plan. I was then in progress toward my suicide since I mattered to nobody. I decided to see if my therapist was in the office since her office was en route to my suicide destination and if she was not there then that would just be one more sign that I should end it all. But she was in and she sent me to an emergency dept nearby and I was admitted.

Although I was a member of PC I knew I could not post about my intent. I felt totally alone and my mood was grim. Personally I think if somebody is that far down they need support anywhere they can find it. I know others disagree and that is fine but I wish PC could be part of my support network if I am suicidal again. Surely I could find better advice here than a doc telling me to drink a beer.

These are my thoughts and I respect that others here will disagree with me.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:00 PM #42
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Default Re: suicidal posts

Just a thought, but I know there are self-help forums out there for those who are suicidal, who DO allow discussion. I remember one specifically but do not remember the name of it. You might google for something like that though.

Just because we cannot allow it here doesn't make it inherently "wrong". Its just that we are not set up to take care of something like that in these parts.
 
Old 07-28-2009, 10:03 PM #43
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Default Re: suicidal posts

www.suicideforum.com is good.
& www.recoveryourlife.com/forum too.
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Old 07-29-2009, 05:49 AM #44
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Default Re: suicidal posts

Thanks all for your thoughtful comments and questions about suicide and related topics. These are not things we've taken lightly, but it is primarily a question of helping keep community members safe -- both those who are considering suicide and everyone else who may be triggered by specific method talk. Being online in a good support group can be of great help to someone who is suicidal, which we recognize. And as long as the talk is just about the general thoughts and such that a person is experiencing about suicide, that's fine.

We draw the line in posts that say they are going to die tonight, or tomorrow, or whatever, and this is how. That's not what we're setup here to do or to help with. Throughout the world, there are suicidal helplines (click the button on our homepage to find one near you), and we recommend members make use of these free resources. Online there are other groups where such discussion is allowed (but we don't vouch for those groups, nor what you may find there).

As for homicidal ideation about wanting to kill one's abuser, I fairly certain we've allowed such discussions, as long as they are fairly limited and well defined, because they fall into the same category about thoughts. Each case is different however. And so while we may allow such discussion about wanting to end the life of one's abuser, we wouldn't allow discussion about someone wanted to end the life of a person for some other reason. We have to balance individual member's needs versus those of the entire community, and so we usually have a discussion about such threads as they arise and make decisions on a case by case basis.

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Old 08-02-2009, 10:00 AM #45
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Default Re: suicidal posts

hi docjohn,

thanks for clarifying & explaining your thoughts behind the community guidelines.

in the depression forum there is a reminder saying "no suicidal posts" (or something to that effect) - i was wondering if it might be possible to add a link next to it to this post of yours (or maybe add it to the suicide resources stick you already have there)? it might clarify that suicidal thoughts are ok, but that talk of intent/method is not. and also provide a useful reminder that there are suicide helplines one can contact in crisis also.

just a suggestion .
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Old 08-03-2009, 01:50 AM #46
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Default Re: suicidal posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tishie View Post
May I ask a Q ?

What if...... In the support chat room someone tells you they have taken an over dose ? I know we should inform admin but what if admin takes ages to come to us ? What do we say to the person after we have told them the usual that they must call emergency service straight away.

I have been in this situation and had to wait a fair while for help to come and I really didnt know what to say for the best.
Hey Tishie - in that situation, please PM an administrator with a copy of the chat (if you don't know how to do that, I can tell you). Please also do tell the person that they MUST call emergency services right away. If they don't choose to do that - here's a good page on our website you can give to them: http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm

Please do take a look at the "Who's Online" list at that time and see if a moderator/administrator is online and PM them asking them to help. (Even though I've received PMs after I disappeared offline and still appeared "online").

Beyond that you do NOT have to put yourself into a situation you're not comfortable with. You are more than allowed to put another member on "ignore" if you're in that situation. It can be really triggering and upsetting dealing with someone who is suicidal.

We are not equipped, nor trained to deal with someone in that sort of a crisis so please only help out as much as you can.

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Old 08-05-2009, 05:14 PM #47
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Trig Re: suicidal posts

I had this situation where a guy in chat was talking about killing himself that night. I was trying to be supportive, but got frantic when he signed off with grim words. I actually managed to FIND THE GUY & CALL HIM AT HOME. (I also notified an admin. here at PC). This guy when he answered the phone was quite jovial. I asked for the guy who had posted by name & he said it was him. I expressed my deep concern about what he had been saying & can you believe it, this guy was laughing & having a party! He had just written this stuff & then forgot about it & went on in a happy-go-lucky way.

I was frantic & spent a lot of time worrying until I could locate him.

Those kind of posts definitely shouldn't be here. Talking about thoughts or previous experiences is one thing, but when you are posting like it is imminent is totally irresponsible & scary to those who read it.

Thankfully, he didn't seriously mean what he posted, but I didn't know that! It was awful to go through that experience as my mother did commit suicide & I've had attempts of my own & am working so hard to never do that kind of thing again & I certainly can't ignore a post like that.
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Old 08-05-2009, 05:31 PM #48
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Default Re: suicidal posts

((((((trying & caring))))))

i'm so sorry you had to go through such a frightening experience. you did the right thing in notifying admin, and you are such a caring person for finding this person's number to call and check up on him. it touches me so much that we have people on PC who would do that for a stranger they've spoken to over the net.

just a suggestion (should it ever happen again - here or elsewhere on the web, which i sincerely hope it won't) - is that you call the police/emergency services in your area and turn the chat transcripts over to them. they will have the resources to track the poster down, assess them and provide support if it is required.

it is a difficult balance between being someone who is concerned and desperately wants to help, and also knowing that you need to look after yourself. i used to volunteer for a suicide crisis line (phone & online) and this is what we would do (try to talk the person out of those thoughts, but once it became apparent that the threat was immediate - refer on to emergency services who had better and more appropriate services & personnel to deal with an critical situation like that). there was a case recently where someone in america made a report about someone they were concerned about, and it became an international thing - i think they were able to find & help the girl involved in time, but i can't remember the details of which countries were involved or anything.
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Old 08-05-2009, 06:01 PM #49
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Confused Re: suicidal posts

Would it be helpful to have a forum for survivors of loved ones that have committed suicide? Maybe when we get over the top we could look at the aftermath and rethink??

Personally, I would like to see that on PC being a survivor of a parental suicide. jmo...
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Old 12-17-2009, 11:18 PM #50
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Default Re: suicidal posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by susan888 View Post
Would it be helpful to have a forum for survivors of loved ones that have committed suicide? Maybe when we get over the top we could look at the aftermath and rethink??

Personally, I would like to see that on PC being a survivor of a parental suicide. jmo...
My sister killed herself and my parents killed themselves 15 years later. It's been 10 years but it continues to weigh so heavily on my heart and soul.

I an so sorry for your loss. I hope we can keep in touch...it would be so helpful to have someone who's "been there" to talk with. I find that so many others are "fascinated" by the situation that they don't hear my pain.

Ho, ho, ho...happy holidays

~ Melanie
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