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Old 12-17-2009, 11:49 PM #51
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May you find peace.
 
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Old 01-09-2010, 07:55 AM #52
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Default Re: suicidal posts

I have tried helping people get over sucidal thoughts and it's taken a hell of a lot out of me.
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Old 05-15-2011, 12:38 PM #53
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Default Re: suicidal posts

Trying to find a way to say this that doesn't make me sound like a horrible human being...

Sometimes saying what a suicidal or depressed person wants to hear isn't really 'support'. I see this all the time in the depression forum, where people are having very negative dark thoughts and they seem to get a lot of support for having them. I know it can help to know you're not alone, but IMO when a person is already using the word 'suicide' and openly talking about how it seems like the best course, identifying with and supporting that line of thought does not seem to me to be helpful or responsible--even when it is meant to be. If you call a suicide hotline, for instance, they don't support your suicidal ideation, they let you know that the things that are going to help you are going to feel 'mean' and not be what you want. (I know because I've called.) Likewise hospital staff don't support that orientation. In hospital you learn fast that that kind of talk will keep you in there forever.

So anyway, that's why some of these posts disturb me.

I probably should just stop reading them. Thanks for all the clarification and comments. This discussion has been very helpful.
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Old 06-19-2011, 07:52 AM #54
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Default Re: suicidal posts

I agree with what you are saying. When i am like that i want help not understanding
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Old 06-21-2011, 05:56 AM #55
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Default Re: suicidal posts

It seems to be a trend lately on PC. I am not saying these people¨s feelings are not genuine, but what good is it rushing into private chatroom declaring you feel suicidal?

It is hard for a non-professional to help stranger when they don't know the story. and maybe the people in the room are not in the best place themselves...
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Old 06-22-2011, 10:21 PM #56
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Default Re: suicidal posts

The person can be told we are not professionals. If you are in crisis, call 911. If you would like to talk to someone and/or get help, go to the emergency room at the hospital. If there is no local hospital, to be safe you may want to call 911.

Some recommended resources and hotlines include:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
http://www.suicide.org/
http://www.hopeline.com/
http://www.suicideforum.com/

You may also want to check out Suicide and Crisis
 
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Old 06-23-2011, 09:27 AM #57
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Default Re: suicidal posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trying & Caring View Post
I had this situation where a guy in chat was talking about killing himself that night. I was trying to be supportive, but got frantic when he signed off with grim words. I actually managed to FIND THE GUY & CALL HIM AT HOME. (I also notified an admin. here at PC). This guy when he answered the phone was quite jovial. I asked for the guy who had posted by name & he said it was him. I expressed my deep concern about what he had been saying & can you believe it, this guy was laughing & having a party! He had just written this stuff & then forgot about it & went on in a happy-go-lucky way.

I was frantic & spent a lot of time worrying until I could locate him.

Those kind of posts definitely shouldn't be here. Talking about thoughts or previous experiences is one thing, but when you are posting like it is imminent is totally irresponsible & scary to those who read it.

Thankfully, he didn't seriously mean what he posted, but I didn't know that! It was awful to go through that experience as my mother did commit suicide & I've had attempts of my own & am working so hard to never do that kind of thing again & I certainly can't ignore a post like that.

Wow I wish someone would go out of their way for me like that when I've felt that way! (and I mean actually felt that way, not throwing a party and going on self help forums threatening to top myself). I had a break down for 8 months last year where I never talked to anyone or answered my phone, nobody really came running to my aid. What I wouldn't give for someone to do what you did.
What this person did was idiotic and cruel, and takes the help away from people genuinely need it. When one person who tries to help gets tricked, there are a number of people who genuinely needed that help who will now not get it.
Please don't beat yourself up over it, it's okay to be mad at this person and feel fooled, but that doesn't mean you didn't do the right thing that someone who needed it would have been forever thankful for.

As for suicidal posts, I do think it should be allowed. But there should be restrictions with the 'I'm going to kill myself right now' posts. Being someone who has been suicidal, I know full well how a person like that thinks. Support is very lacking these days. You look up suicide on the net and it will usually come up with posts on being punished by God if you do it, or posts from people calling someone and idiot who's looking for attention and telling them to just do it and stop complaining.
If you are in that frame of mind it's very hard to stay focused enough to look for proper help. You want help, then when you get it you don't want it, but you still kind of do, and you want to ask for help but you can't ask for help and you want to die but you don't want to die and every negative thing that has occurred in your life runs through your mind at once and you don't know what you want to do and you wish someone would just appear and make it all better but even if they came you would barely be able to share how you feel so that they can help you because you can't make up your mind and...... You just go nuts with confusion.

Someone who is in a suicidal frame of mind is NOT someone who can think logically. Every living thing has the instinct of survival, our mission as a living thing is to stay alive. It is an instinct programmed into the minds of every living thing from day dot. When someone is in such a mental state that they are literally going against their own instincts of survival, that person is NOT thinking logically or rationally. That person has a different thought process to someone who is not suicidal. They have a completely different thought process to THEMSELVES if they were thinking logically.
And it can be very hard to ask for help. How do you call a friend or relative and say 'I want to die'?
When I get down, and I have been a few times lately, I find it impossible to do anything more than go on Facebook and say 'I need a hug'. I cannot for the life of me ask for help, other than online. And part of that reason is because not many people are willing to go out of their way to help. I know WHY that is, because I've been on that end of the stick too, and it's frustrating as hell to deal with someone who is in that state. But better to go to someone who knows than someone who doesn't because all you ever hear about suicidal people from those who aren't is that they are being selfish. That infuriates me immensely. It is NOT selfish to be suicidal. 99.9% of people who are suicidal do NOT want to die, they are just emotionally exhausted and need things to end- death sometimes seems the only solution to a never ending torture. A lot of people who are suicidal think they deserve it, or they think people are better off without them, or they just want someone to notice them. We all need human interaction and understanding, so sometimes being attention seeking isn't about wanting to be centre of attention, it's about wanting someone to just see you.
But even as someone who has been suicidal and has a family filled with people who are the same, if someone comes to me wanting to die, I wouldn't know the first thing to say to them. There isn't really any right thing to say in that situation. It's scary, exhausting and frustrating to look after someone who's like that.
Don't try to help someone if you genuinely can't, as sad as it is nobody is obliged to look after someone like that. If you can’t, then don’t. But if you can, then do, because for some people this is the only place anybody has to go to. Some people don’t have phones to call a helpline. Some people don’t have friends or family who will rush to them. Some people find it easier to express how they feel impersonally rather than by speaking it directly. Some people have shut everyone out of their lives and can’t exactly call someone for help. Some people are just looking for others who relate. Some people just don’t know. Of course there is then the suicidal curse of nobody answering their phones and suddenly having a life when you so desperately need it.
This is the only place some people have.
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Old 06-30-2011, 09:44 AM #58
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Heart Re: suicidal posts

do what you can when you can - thats all anyone can do thats all anyone can give

ive been in the situation whee someone said they were going to kill themselves - then signed off after i spent a few hours listening, suggesting and hoping i was helping - each time it happens .. and its happened more than once... i am out of my mind til i speak to them again or in one case ...dont

Most of us here jmo have been to that dark place they are at - its so hard all i want is for them to survive and get help.... pref wihtout being destroyed in the process - this has even happened on facebook to me so its not just here..

i guess we have to practice good self care while helpng if we can...

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RE:  suicidal posts
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Old 07-04-2011, 06:44 PM #59
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Default Re: suicidal posts

Another option for when things are going difficultly with a suicidal member is to pm a mod/admin that is online and let them know there is a problem. Even though mod/admin are not trained in suicide prevention, sometimes they can help the individual to reach out IRL and to help take some stress off of a member who is trying hard to assist.

Please remember that PC is not a place of trained professionals. We are all members who have our own issues that we are dealing with as well as those who are so depressed and feeling suicidal. No member should ever have to feel that they are the only link to help for that person. That is way too much of a burden for any member to take on. This is why there are no suicidal posts allowed either. Being an online community, we have no way of getting addresses and phone numbers or calling someone who can help someone IRL. The person who is going through the difficulty has to be willing to reach out IRL for their own safety. And we all hope that those members will do just that.

We have so many wonderful members here who are willing to help when they can. Please remember that first and foremost, each member must take care of themselves to the best of their ability. Self care is the way to go!

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Old 03-31-2012, 06:03 PM #60
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Trig Re: suicidal posts

So where would it be ok to post when you are feeling suicidal but the door is still open - when you are trying to stay n are looking for help? I know you would need to post with a trigger. But I am not quite sure where to post?
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