godson's confirmation

so this is probably going to seem long, but I want to get the story correct. my godson's confirmation is tomorrow, and there are some things about it that I'm not sure how to handle or react to/about.

so first off, my godson is also my nephew, who is now 14yo. I live over 2 1/2 hours away, so don't get to see him that often. though I saw more of him when he was younger (aka not so busy then). but my MIs do make things difficult at times, on my end.

so a little birdie told me that my parents (also him and his parents, who would be my sister & brother-in-law) have known his confirmation day was May 20th for like seven months now! and I guess because of the large class size and smaller church building, they are doing two services and my sister only invited the grandparents, to keep things small. ok, I can understand that. cuz on my side of my nephew's family, there are eight people plus me.

then on Monday, my sister sends out an email explaining that point (two services, big class size, only inviting grandparents) to me and my two sisters, and also inviting us to a 'party' after the service is done at their house. [also will add that I didn't see or read the email until Wednesday!]

first off, I tried not to be upset by that, that the invite was so late / last minute. I just said in my response that it was " greatly appreciated to be included and thought of". but with my MIs, last minute planning or trips are not a good thing and usually end up being super hard on me - at times, I even talk myself out of going at all!

secondly, should I be mad that as his godmother, my sister did not even notify me of this sooner?? or even include me at all??

can I be angry that I was just lumped in with everyone else? aren't godparents suppose to be present at their godchild's confirmation??? I mean, there are two of us, though sadly I don't remember who the other one is anymore. so did they include the other godparent and not me? I mean, I know me and my b-in-law DON'T get along and basically co-exist without speaking. and my MIs might complicate things at times. but those things shouldn't affect something like this, right?

my head is just a mess, so I just don't know things anymore....

[p.s. - even after reading a few things online that say godparents are special on the godchild's confirmation event, I'm still half talking myself out of going. I'm on here instead of getting in sleep and a shower... (aka 'fighting myself', if you understand that phrase) ]

I think godparents are traditionally very important in the child's life. It doesn't have to be in daily life, but I certainly think they should be invited to a confirmation. I'm not sure what's your denomination. However when I was confirmed in the Catholic church at the age of 25 (!!!) I still needed to choose a godmother, even though I was legally adult) She had to be present at my confirmantion.
So I'm afraid the fact they didn't call you is very hurtful and it may possibly indicate that there's a problem in your relationship. I'm very sorry baout that and hope you'll be able to talk calmly and improve it.

I understand you being miffed. I would too.

But to address this situation I first want to say that religious rites of passage are no longer the 'big deal' they have been traditionally in the past. There was a time that to be a god parent meant one was actively involved in their God child's spiritual life. Often God parents were also those people who have agreed to take on the responsibility of caring for the child should some tragedy lead them to being orphaned. This is traditionally why a God parent is so often also a relative.

But for many, the rites of religious practices have become no more than casual observances. I dare to suggest that many are simply going through the motions because the rite is simply what people do (ie. how many baptize their infants because that is what people expect?). Thus, the importance surrounding such occasions has been watered down wth the passage of time.

Your invitation came late. This is unfortunate. I understand you live out of town however. Ist it possible then that the parents might have thought you wouldn't consider making the drive out? I is quite common for God parents to 'participate' in services by proxy. Indeed, I had a stand in for one of my own child's god parents. Just a thought anyway.

With all this being said I want to commend you for the fact you do take this Confirmation quite seriously. Good on you.

um yeah and why not tell her this? maybe she forgot in all the turmoil? doh. family.

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When I was confirmed as an adult 8 years ago, it was a sponsor that I needed to choose, not my godparents. The church was very full of people from various churches and families. Along with an extensive list of priests and bishops.
Maybe, like how graduations are these days, there is an expectation of limiting the number guests?