Need prayers please?

I am going to deal with something tomorrow that is going to be extremely difficult for me. I have not shared lately because quite frankly it's been just too overwhelming for me to do so.

I am asking members to say a prayer for me that I will do ok tomorrow and keep the ptsd in check because I have to keep it in check.

I have been dealing with so much dysfunction, abusive dysfunction that it's been overwhelming and making my ptsd even worse. I have done nothing wrong and have been accused of doing things I never did, it's blindsided me tbh.

Say prayers that the day will work out for me and go in a positive direction for me PLEASE!!!

I'll keep You And your Loved Ones in my Thoughts and Prayers, @Open Eyes. You have done so much for everyone here and this is the elast I can do! WISHING YOU THE BEST OF LUCK! YOU'RE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS! Let us know how it goes!

Best wishes for a successful outcome tomorrow.

Sending you good wishes and warm thoughts

Praying for you.

I am praying for clarity and peace for your mind, body and spirit. I pray for courage and bravery to speak truth as it needs to be spoken and peace and confidence to cover your words.

I will be holding you in my thoughts tomorrow and praying these words for you.

Said a prayer for you Open Eyes and sending postive vibrations your way.

You have been dealing with and reflecting on your PTSD and all the dysfunction you have been caught up in for a long time. You are more prepared than you realize. You will break free of this (if not literally then you will get to the point you can detach and leave the worst of this all behind). You are nervous because you are ready for battle. The time has come. You are prepared because you are a good person and deserve the best life has to offer. I believe in karma. Not saying I am talking about revenge only that you are ready to do what must be done to stand up for yourself and then move on. You don't deserve the crap you have been dealing with. Once you leave it, it will make room for better things in your life. You deserve good things. You are a wonderful person who has helped me and many others so much. Good luck, prayers, etc.

Praying

OMG, it was a hard day. My lawyer negotiated the list of things we both wanted. Actually, my older brother did not want anything even though he got all the things on his list. He told me he just wanted to help ME as he knows how really mean my sister can be. My brother turned out to be a beautiful soul despite all the abuse he suffered as a child that I had to witness that traumatized me constantly.

One of the things I wanted was to be able to finally go into my parent's home, that was my home and still had some of my things there. Well, my sister insisted on having a police officer there, can you imagine? She stopped me in the doorway and told me not bring my handbag in. Like I was going to steal something? No, that is what SHE chooses to do herself. She stold thousands of dollars from my parents. She took a lot of money from my mother and went to the bank and withdrew a lot of cash withdrawls and started doing that as soon as she got POA and made it a point to have my mother's bank account made into a joint bank account. What the kicker is she did not want to present an accounting except for the last year of my parent's lives. The judge said "no, I want and accounting from when you got the POA in March of 2012. So when she presented that accounting she HAD to show all those cash withdrawls and she decided to say I took that money CAN YOU IMAGINE? I did not even know what bank my mother's money was in until I saw that listed in the accounting. I never even know there was a bank/debit card either and there is NO WAY I went in and took my mother to the bank all those times. Not only that, but my sister's daughter had my mother's Discover card and was charging things for herself on it. Who spends $575. on makeup? What is it gold makeup? She never even provided the bills for the Discover card.

So after I got to keep my handbag I went into my parents house. I just wanted to have time alone to sit and GRIEVE. My sister as in the case when both my parents were dying INVADED THAT. My older brother KNEW what I wanted, he knew I wanted my time alone to sit and grieve. He ended up going outside and telling the police office my sister hired to be there to please keep my sister from invading me. She still needed to invade and I ended up getting very badly triggered to the point where I was crying and shaking, full of that little child part of me. Please keep in mind how much power a four year old has over a mere infant. And that four year old HATES the attention this infant is getting. I have had flashbacks, they were horrible yet it's not like I can talk about what is happening because I am so very little. I can't even believe I experience this challenge, that she can trigger this to happen in me.

My brother was AMAZING, he stepped in and hugged me and calmed me down.

It was so hard because my sister was rushing me to go around and put my stickers on things. I was overwhelmed with how she had all their things on tables. So many things that I never even thought of. I am very respectful so I knew my parents had things, but they were THEIR THINGS and I never intruded. I never went through their drawers or things, never went in my mother's pocketbook.

I found my wedding dress and my mother was SO thoughtful and respectful and had gotten one of those clear plastic hanging bags and she put everything nicely in it. I just cried and her clothes were there and I just put my face in them and cried. I was very close with my mother, we were buddies and loved each other.

My sister kept appearing and hovering, she is SO DAMN COLD. She always has to be SUPERIOR and is obsessively controlling.

I am exhausted, it was very overwhelming and I tried to sleep but I can't sleep and I have the chills. It was traumatizing for me to experience that very negative human being when I just wanted my own time to privately grieve. She consistently invades that.

It's so upsetting, so hard. Yet, I will say that I am so proud of my older brother, he was kind WARM loving and respectful and he definitely noticed how mean, controlling, condescending, cold, bossy my sister is today. Truth is, everyone noticed it, even the judge and my lawyer definitely sees it.

I will have to face this again when I go back to get the things I taged, and I am sure she will once again make sure the police is there. Ironically, even the police officer could see what a mean jerk she is.

I’m so sorry you are having to go through this!! I’m so thankful for your brothers presence and his comfort and love for you.

Material things and control possess people and they become controlling and very selfish and abusive.

I pray that you find comfort tonight in the memory of the care your mom took in packaging your wedding dress and the comfort of her clothes. I hope that that that overshadows the very selfishness and control of your sister.

You were brave and again, I am so thankful for the comfort you were able to experience, in that very hard place, from your brother.

I am praying for you now for peace and calmness and rest.

Trail.

ETA: I wanted to add that the validation of the other people there, of your sisters behavior and actions, would be a comfort to me. When someone else’s behavior is acknowledged by someone else, it calms me in some way. It feels like it can settle and be real to me and then I can deal with the emotions of it.

I just wanted to add that as a comfort for you if you have dealt with it in that way.

Sorry! Duplicate post.

Open Eyes I genuinely sorry to hear how much you had to go through. You are amazing just like your brother because somehow you held it together.

It sounds like the judge will work things out. You have memories that no one can take from you. Hoping you find a way to cope with all this without getting too stressed out.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and comforting thoughts, it means the world to me.

I think my husband was also glad my brother flew up to be with me. My husband has witnessed my sister come after me in one of her rages and he tends to "freeze" so I am sure he was glad my brother was there too.

I have to think about how I am going to go back there to get the items I tagged now. I know she will again have the police there and try to find some way to see if she can get me to react so she can play her victim role, she is ALL about drama try to bait to get a reaction. I think a lot of members here would be impressed by how strong I have been at times where she behaved so badly trying to bait me. She fails to realize that all she does is show people how crazy she is.

PC actually helped me in a way I never imagined too. She accused me of driving there and taking my mother to the bank for all these withdrawls? Well, I could not have done that and been home on my computer posting and PMing here at PC. I was here helping and supporting people while she was stealing from my mother. Ugh...how awful is that? It was SO TRIGGERING to suddenly be blindsided by someone accusing you of something you never did or would even think to do.

I was so tired from experiencing her today, I tried to lay down and sleep but I kept seeing her mean face. I hope I don't have nightmares tonight. I am so tired, I need to sleep.

My asking for prayers was all about just finding a way through the hearing yesterday. I honestly did not know how that was going to go at all.

I was not at all prepared for that turning into also going to my parents home, going there in a hurry up quick way. I was not prepared to suddenly drive there and see a police officer there and having to deal with my cold controlling sister who stopped me at the door insisting I not bring my purse in with me. I was not prepared to enter my parent's home only to see how disturbed it was, how my sister had changed things around and had so many of their things on tables, things I had not seen in so many years. I was not prepared for my sister's invading cold presence when I JUST wanted to have time alone to sit in my parent's home and quietly and privately grieve. I was not prepared to experience her coming into my space with these colored sticker peel and stick circles and to be told I had only 90 minutes to walk around and put stickers ONLY on the things on my list. I was not MENTALLY prepared for any of what I experienced yesterday. Actually, yesterday was like entering a strange spook house on a rollor coaster in the dark not having any idea what is going to pop up next. I now wish I had taken pictures so I could post them so anyone reading could be able to see all I had to see in that big old house. I was not prepared to see how my sister had been busy going into everything and putting it all out on tables like she did.

When I had to come up with a list of things I wanted, I had to do that by sitting down and trying to do a virtual tour in my head. When I did that all I pictured in my mind was my parent's home the way they kept it, so many things were put away and so many things I had not really paid attention to, certainly not with the idea of picking items out that I might want. I had pictured walking in "finally" and sitting in all that is left of my parents because there are not graves and my sister already spread their ashes.

I was not ready to deal with seeing my sister's old mean face coming at me, she looked HORRIBLE, worse than the wicked witch of the west in the wizard of oz. I was not ready to go upstairs and see how the wall paper was coming off the wall in a corner and in that same corner the canvas that was on the ceiling was coming down. Last time I saw that very room everything looked GREAT and neat and clean. I was not ready to see all my mother's things on the bureaus and bed, and the styrophone heads here and there with her wigs on them. My mother had wigs so she did not have to fuss with her hair all the time, not such a bad idea actually. But this was SO cold and impersonal what I saw. If it were me? I would not have her wigs about like that, no one is going to buy someone's old wigs that they wore. I walked around and noticed her dressing room just FULL of her shoes. I don't KNOW where all her jewelry was. I honestly can't even remember when I was on that second floor as when I visited them I just pretty much sat with them, went to see them and did not wander around in their house. I always respected my mother's privacy, never went through her things so it was SO SHOCKING for me to see all her things everywhere the way my sister had it all.

Truth is, what I experienced yesterday traumatized me. I was NOT mentally prepared for anything I experienced yesterday. Truth is, I was not mentally prepared for ALL of the toxic I faced the last years of my parent's lives. I am SO MENTALLY LOST right now, shock, crying, deeply depressed, angry, shocked, tired and getting constant flashes of my sister's horrible angry mean cold face. It's like a creepy horror movie I have been living in. Yet, also VERY SAD too.

I was not MENTALLY PREPARED for yesterday AT ALL or any of what I experienced these past few years. And my sister taking all that money and seeing that accounting of all those withdrawls with my name next to them that I never did. Wow, I was not mentally prepared for all of this VERY TWISTED and CRAZYNESS. A living nightmare I never imagined experiencing in my life. I already was struggling with PTSD, and trying so hard to heal. But my GOD, this has all been sureal and awful. I was not mentally prepared for ANY OF IT, and certainly not yesterday at all.

Open Eyes,

I am sorry. It sounds like you are still in the middle of an extreme battle. I am sorry she is so traumatizing. What she has done sounds downright evil.

Eventually, the estate will be settled. Eventually, you will heal from this. I am sorry that I did not recognize that you are still in the middle of the storm. It will not last forever! This terrible chapter of your life will eventually come to an end. People such as your brother will know you and your sister's true character via how you both have treated others. You will have allies such as your brother when it is all over. Your sister might find herself more alone. She just isn't as sympathetic and loving as you are. She has made ill gotten material gains from this but you still have people who love, respect, and admire you. I would rather have the latter than the stolen things. You can respect yourself. I wonder how she feels about herself inside. This is not your problem. She has lost you because of her actions! What a huge, huge loss. It will end and then you can just stay away from her from then on!

Praying for you. Sorry to hear you have to deal with this.

What I dealt and had been dealing with that is SO TOXIC is my sister insisting "YOU BE A CODEPENDENT OR ELSE YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!!".

My older brother really tried to help me get what I needed and he showed me respect. My sister had a policeman there and my brother had to go out and tell this policeman that my sister needed to be stopped from harrassing me. Three times he had to go out and ask the policeman to tell her to "back off".

If my brother was not there it would have been REALLY BAD. It was bad even with him there. My husband was at a loss as usual, it was so embarrassing to have him see what he saw. My sister triggered me so badly I ended up becoming that frightened little child shaking uncontrollably. I did not want to have that happen, but she would not leave me alone. My sister takes all her anger out on me, she did that when I was so little too, before I had any ability to understand or even defend myself.

My sister doesn't know how to play nice, she always had to have all the control or else she would not play with you. How is a baby to understand that? She is four years older, that is a huge age difference when it comes to children all through their childhood.

I am posting this here in the Sanctuary for Spiritual Support because I have prayed so much, felt so lost. Yet, it could be posted in PTSD forum, Victims of Abuse Forum, CEN forum, or the thread I have in a more private forum or the Grief and Loss forum or even the relationship forum as well as the forum for children of alcoholics yet that disease/problem has been in my life ALL of my life because my husband is a binge alcoholic who has been sober for 28 years, but he still exhibits issues and he is constantly all about that disease and pretty much goes to meetings every night. I have been LONELY and he recently said "we don't have a partnership" and I feel like what he needs is a wife with the same problem that can do all these meetings with him. I tried to go but I would get triggered because the room was filled with people that have a problem that affected ME my entire life.

I put so much effort into creating something healing and positive. I was not mentally prepared to stand there and watch it all destroyed and then when it broke me down be treated like what I valued and cared about did not deserve to be valued. I was overwhelmed with grief, exhausted mentally and physically and next thing I knew I was in a psych ward locked up with individuals that were so mentally ill they frightened me. They thrust drugs at me, and my sister came in and was SO COLD and would not let my parents come see me. It's now the anniversary of that because I was in there for 10 days not knowing how long I would be forced to stay there and had to sit at a table on Thanksgiving with all these strangers and no one came to see me or called me and instead I was treated like I was a bad person for breaking.

The way my parents set up their Will and Trust, that was set up when my mother was not capable of really understanding it and my father was mentally declining gave my sister way too much power. Just to stand up to her means it costs ME, takes anything I may get when it's finally settled. My sister has been a very busy bee organizing EVERYTHING in a way that give her all the power and control and she even set up what I experienced on Thursday, all meant to intimidate and punish me for saying "no to her insistence I be her codependent". It's BEYOND me in how manipulative and evil and toxic she sets things up, totally beyond me and nothing I could ever think to do or engage in doing, just not in my wheelhouse.

What I noticed when I visited my parent's home once I walked around was "things were missing". They had an old "original" oil painting that hung on the wall in their living room, "missing" because my sister made it a point BEFORE she agreed to things we had on our lists and to allow us in our parents home was to first have an appraiser walk through and find anything of value. There was a motor my brother wanted and could not find, missing because it had value. I noticed my mother's toys she kept on the top shelf of the built in shelves was "missing" because they had value. I noticed the painting my father had in his office of a tug boat was "missing" and it was on my list but it was missing because it had value. My sister basically took all my mother's money as I mentioned, even the money my mother had in investments, that is the money she blamed me for taking when I did not even know how much money my mother had or what bank my mother's money was even in. As I mentioned, it was VERY overwhelming how my sister had all my parent's things out on tables. How COLD and CALCULATING it all was. I never even thought to take pictures when I went to visit my parents before they declined so much my sister moved them to her house. My sister was taking money as soon as she could back in 2012. And yet my sister treated ME like the criminal not even wanting me to bring my handbag in with me.

I don't know HOW she can live with herself, she is an evil beast, AKA the Devil. Honestly, I have never been able to think that dark, so it really takes me back by the fact that my sister does think this dark. She is an or has turned into an UGLY human being.

I posted this here because I need prayers/help finding my way past these awful realities. My sister is a very twisted creepy human being.

I said a prayer for you Open Eyes and will keep praying for you. Greed rather than love is controlling your sister's heart. Though I know it breaks your heart not to have some of those momentos , living a loving life is more valuable than anything we accumulate. Once this is over, you won't have to deal with her anymore. When you get to the other side of this, you will emerge stronger. Keep up the faith Open Eyes! Your life won't stay dark forever.