Meditation is Hard

I tried to meditate again. I heard it's good to control the emotions. But I can't stay focused. Even for just 2 minutes.

I remember when I was 9, it was easy to calm down. But now, my mind goes wandering through the havoc or just getting irritated with my surrounding.

Hi Turtle_Rider. I am sorry you are finding meditation challenging.

For me the greatest challenge is to adjust my expectations so I am not expecting great things. I feel like it is like moving a truck load of sand with a teaspoon. I have to stop looking to check how I am doing and just stay in this one moment. I feel the breath going in and out. I hear, smell, taste or sense what my senses tell me. When I find the thoughts and or emotions start to carry me away, then I gently bring my attention back to this moment without judgement.

Padraig O'Morain on Self-Compassion YouTube

Mindful Acceptance YouTube

Hi Turtle_Rider,

I will try to give you some tips and pointers to improve your meditation experience.

So, first of, lets go through some pre-meditation steps, a couple of things that will ease you into the meditation. What i always find helpful is to run a hot bath if possible, and soak in it from 10 to 30 minutes, or a long, hot shower. Then, dress warmly, a hoodie would be good, and maybe a blanket for legs/feet, and if you could be close to some heat source (radiator, fire), it would be ideal. Since you ll be standing still its good to minimize heat loss, or it will be a constant nuisance to your meditation. Lastly, utilize peaceful meditative music that will provide some support for mind and emotion. I can't post links yet, so search youtube for Healing Gregorian Chants and navigate similar songs if this doesn't suit you, in general you need something calm and slow, with less emphasis on lyrics and more emphasis on the music.

Ok, now lets talk a bit about different body stances. If you are feeling tired, weary, it is best to simply lie down, body flat on the ground, palms flat on the ground, and feet close together, on a mat or carpet. This stance asks the least from you, while being highly rewarding, and it can be maintained indefinitely. If you feel less tired, or after some practice sessions, you can start using the support of a wall to lean against, legs flat on the ground, palms flat on your sides, while the upper body being vertical, yet supported by the wall. Maintaining this stance will strengthen your overall posture, but it will also exert your body, so when you start to feel you cant maintain it anymore, end the session. If you are feeling more energized, or after substantial practice, you can free the back from the wall, keep the spine straight without support (hard for long periods) and sit cross-legged, or into the various lotus positions for folding the legs.. All 3 stances are valid, but use as advised, remember, the 1st stance asks very little of you and so you can maintain it for as long as you want, while the other two you should at least in the beginning try for limited amounts of time, the 2nd stance 10-15 minutes, the 3rd stance for something like 5 minutes tops.

Now that we have cleared the external parameters, as well as the body stance, we can talk about the internal workings that will help you not to wander off.
So, the first thing is, keep your eyes closed. With eyes closed, your brain is not asked to interpret its surroundings, it rather gets closer to its own body. So know that whenever you open your eyes, the meditation will be weakened, and vice versa. Secondly, the core function of meditation is to let go of the thinking process, so whenever thinking overwhelms you, i want you to tell your mind to perform a full scan of your body, find spots in the body where there is stored tension, and release it. Classic points of tension would be the jaw and teeth being clenched, or the stomach being constricted (in the upright positions), so you simply tell the jaw to open the clench, or the back to straighten up so the stomach can expand again. After a while the clenching will unconsciously return. It is your job to simply go there again and do the same thing. A constant tool to your aid against overthinking is your breath. Instead of moving through thought processes (which we all have been trained and conditioned to give priority to in order to perform well in our jobs and generally survive), move from one breath to the next and leave the thoughts to themselves, do not further them. Breathing will also strengthen the scanning and feeling of internal organs and will help with the expansion of the body and the release of the tensions. So try to keep a constant, conscious breathing throughout the meditation, starting from shallow breaths and leading to fuller, deeper breaths.

I think this is pretty much all you need to start, remember the basis of meditation is very simple, only complicated by our own minds. I'm here to answer any further questions, please feel free to ask for clarification on points you want to go over in more detail, and i hope to hear on your practice sessions and give you feedback.

I wish you all the best.

I too have had trouble meditating. I've heard the more you practice the easier it gets.

I'm trying to meditate too. I find that guided meditation works for me better. I'm hoping that has the same benefits as regular meditation.

I've used guided meditation for the last 5 or so years and have found a lot of benefit from it. So, yes, I think it can confer the same benefits as regular meditation as you say. Also, to some extent, we have to learn how to meditate properly, so having a guide can definitely help you in the right direction.

That said, I also practice a certain amount of unguided meditation. But it's completely fine to use guided ones in my opinion!

Hi Turtle Rider, the idea behind meditation, from what I know, is not to clear your mind from thoughts, sort of. When you're meditating, and thoughts come up, its natural. If they didn't, you'd be a robot or something.

Anyway, there's a lot of ways to meditate, but from what I know about mindfulness meditation, the idea is to focus your attention on something, like your breath (or an image, or sound), and know that your mind will wander, and that's ok. That's part of meditating. When your mind wanders and you first notice that you are getting wrapped up in thought, gently notice this, and bring your attention back to your focus. When your mind wanders again (and again, and again, and again), each time you notice, gently bring your attention back to your focus.

I hope this helps.

I consider meditation anything that quiets my mind so I find some walks meditative, when I was younger, parts of my runs and lap swimming were meditative. Strangely, when it was hot in the house after my bath, rather than drying off, I chose to meditate naked. I focused my mind on the feeling of the drops of water evaporating off my skin just as I used to do after swimming in my youth then letting the sun dry me off on the pool deck.

For me meditation is a word that has religious connotations so I like mindfulness. Mindfulness can be simple and without fanfare.

For example, I feel the breath going in and out and focus on that. The thoughts are still there but I am not focused on them. The emotions are there, but the awareness only focuses on one thing at a time, so I let it be the breath.

Why Mindfulness Is a Superpower: An Animation

This is a start to understanding how mindfulness can be applied in life situations.

Thank you, everyone. I've tried some of your suggestions and so far, guided meditation works well on me. If anyone needs help like me, I recommend an apps called Wysa. I tried it for a few days and I love it.

Well, I tried to read and watch, but I have not grasped the concept of "Mindfullness" yet. I hope that someday I will.