A spiritual Conundrum

I don't know how to talk about this and open up more about this on here, but I am REALLY struggling spiritually and need help.

Beginning 12 years ago, I began exploring and experimented with different spiritual practices, including channeling. To make a VERY long story short, I got into some pretty big spiritual trouble as a result of my experimentation, which has unfolded over the course of 12 years.

During my channeling, I would experience the effects of energetic presences in my body, around my body, and ultimately, which had the ability to move my body.

Fast forward to today:

I tried to shut down my channeling because it became too overwhelming for me, but I still feel energy presences around and within my body. When I demand that they leave, my body jerks and moves uncontrollably - kind of like in the movie, the Exorcist.

And I hear dark evil voices sometimes. Before I tried to shut down my channeling, I heard the darker voices regularly along with many loving and benevolent voices. I heard both. I also talked to the loving voices.

But apparently, I cannot shut down this channel that I opened, not entirely. I demand for the energies to leave, and they do, but only temporarily.

I confided in my therapist about my channeling last week, who now wants to increase my medication dosage. I had to go on an anti-psychotic med after a mental breakdown I experienced many years ago whereby I was hospitalized for believing I was possessed by an evil spirit and was hearing that person's name around me all the time.

I pray. I pray nearly every day for help. I pray for it all to go away and to leave me alone.

Other than demanding that the energies and dark voices leave, increasing my meds and praying, is there anything else I can do?

Has anyone experiencing anything similar? Even if you haven't, do you have any advice?

I am trying hard to remain within our Community Guidelines, so let's please keep all responses non-religious, etc. Thank you.

PS: I'm thinking of trying to find a real Shaman spiritual elder and healer who can help.

I don’t know if I channel per se but I do you have a very good gut instincts. I used to read tarot cards in college I might pick that up again.

I did this the completely wrong way without spiritually protecting myself a lot of the time. I learned the hard way..... the very hard way. I always end up learning the hard way, lol.

Tarot is safer in my opinion -- less risky. I opened myself up to channel just about anything out there, which is what came in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope I did this the completely wrong way without spiritually protecting myself a lot of the time. I learned the hard way..... the very hard way. I always end up learning the hard way, lol. Tarot is safer in my opinion -- less risky. I opened myself up to channel just about anything out there, which is what came in.

Not to be a freak but I used the Ouija board when I was younger and I swear to god it open the portal to hell.

That's what I think I've done -- although I know that I also was hearing and speaking to benevolent and loving guides too.

So, to continue on:

I had to shut this down because it began to take over parts of my life, and I wasn't comfortable with that. I was receiving all sorts of messages that made me think I am bat crazy or like I fell off the planet into another dimension.

I mean, I have to get a JOB, I have to work, I need MONEY and INCOME.... I was being asked to do things that made little sense to me as a mere wee little human being. I couldn't connect to it anymore. I was being told things about myself that were hard to believe and absorb. I was told I am an incarnated Angel.

I was also told my father will pass away before the end of this year, and I was told or it was confirmed for me through my channeling that I had been sexually abused by him, which I had always suspected to be true. I was informed that his spirit would hang around me asking me for forgiveness before it could move on. So instead, I forgave him in my heart and spirit and doing so apparently will help him to not hang onto me when he passes.

I really do not know what to think of all of this -- it's other worldly, and my small human brain cannot absorb it all. And for my own sake and for the sake of my poor husband, I had to shut it down.... I started to freak out.

I went to Salem, MA, to attend a witches meeting. One witch read my future with tarot cards before I became ill. She said I would lose everything then slowly rebuild myself. At the time, I just laughed it off but she was right. I did lose everything and am slowly rebuilding my life again. So, who knows? Some people don't believe in witches and tarot card readings but since I had this experience I am trying to focus on my spiritual side and be good-natured to people and to my family. You never know what type of spiritual aura you have but some people can pick it up right away. I was not a believer in witches and tarot card readings but since this witch accurately predicted my downfall, I realize some are valid and truthful. Just my experience!

@bpforever1, I have no doubt that some can accurately predict future events. There are many charlatans out there too, but I've spoken to real psychics myself (not witches) and I have found many predictions to have unfolded as told.

@RockyRoad007, thank you soooo much for all your suggestions!!!!! I have saged myself and my home. I even bought specific energy crystals and placed them within each corner of my home to clear negative entities and energies. I have White Sage spray that I use as well. I will try the high vibration music as you suggest. And I have not tried the violent flame. I did ask God to cloak me in white light. But they still persist.

I may have to get an energy healer type to clear them from me. I've tried this avenue several times and it seems to work, but only for a short while. They continue to come back.

I was told that I have one dark entity that has been with me and that it causes addictions. I have to get rid of it. I do have a nicotine addiction.

Sorry HaveHope. I deleted my message before I realized you had already seen it. I began to think it was a little over the top and perhaps inappropriate.

@rockyroad, to me, it wasn't inappropriate. And I don't think inappropriate for the community either. It was in fact very helpful and gave me hope, so I wish to thank you for your post.

Also, from what I've read and learned.... the higher the energy vibration you have, the more good it can let and allow into your life, and the lower your energy vibration, the more it attracts lower energies too. Kind of similar to how the law of attraction works.

So has been my experience as well.

Does your therapist think it’s a medical issue rather than actual angels/spirits and so on hence he wants to increase your anti psychotic meds? I think it’s either medical or it’s real. I don’t think it could be both. If real spirits speaking to you, medication wouldn’t help

My therapist believes it's medical (I think). To me, it's very real. The meds don't do much, but literally asking my Guides to close my channel does. When that happens, I do not experience all this.

One thing I've learned through my channeling experience -- that we each have a divine self, a higher self let's call it, that is untainted, unharmed and incredibly strong. It is that inner guiding voice that we can hear deep within. That voice within is our guiding light - our divine light.

We each have the power to rely on our higher self at any time to give us the direction, strength, courage and wisdom that we need in order to move forward, heal and to reach our greatest potential. It is also called an oversoul by some spiritualists.

I have felt very lost lately after shutting down my channeling. I wasn't sure of who I am anymore. I've been a fairly different person for a number of years -- hard to explain. But through all the confusion and upset I experienced, I found my own inner power and realized that it's been there for me this whole time -- reachable from within. Kind of like when Dorothy discovers she always had the power to return home from Oz.

I am going to start doing meditations again to get in touch with my inner power and guide. I need grounding and I need to live back on this planet. I've been talking to the voices I've heard and it's been ungrounding for me in some ways -- enlightening and incredibly inspiring in other ways.

But now I am going to be planted on this earth, not talking to voices anymore and not hearing the voices anymore. I want to take the gems of what I've learned and turn them into important life lessons for me to use going forward... knowledge and wisdom.

I'm turning 50 soon and am ready to start a new chapter, or perhaps even a new book in my new/old life. I now believe that my ability to channel happened for a good reason -- perhaps that reason was to teach me to rely on my own divine self and inner power, and to stop relying on outside influences to help bolster me.

Perhaps.

I am still reflecting on this whole experience and am processing it. Lots to process.

I opened my channel again to receive guidance on my marriage issues -- then I closed it again. I have been guided to perform an energy healing on my husband, with help, and he has agreed. It's something I am able to do and have done (with help) on myself. I resolved my eating disorder this way. I am told that removing dark energies from my husband will help to improve our marriage immensely, so I am going to try it.

I don't have high hopes really, but then again, I am told that these dark energies are causing some serious issues in our marriage -- that once they are removed, things will vastly improve.

And since I did this on myself with guidance and help and it resolved my long-standing eating disorder, I want to have hope that this can help resolve some of the issues in my marriage too.

We'll see.

I want to say that a new kind of "channeling" is to study into how the science of quantum physics so deeply relates to spiritual life... while not scaring you half to death. If you want to know more you can look it up on the web or get books from Amazon,.It has helped me believe in God and Angels while still keeping my feet on solid ground. It's all so encouraging and strengthening to me.

Your story sounds similar to what I've experienced.

Somewhat similar yes.

Update: since posting this thread, I have been able to shut down my channel more easily. All I have to do is ask and also shut it down myself, and I don't experience the energies or voices. And voila! Problem solved!!!! I can open it and shut it down as I please and had the means to do so all this time.

Hi, this is such a fascinating thread. I had some out there experiences as a child/teenager, but was always sceptical about channeling...my ex was not, and I'm sure he channeled some really dark stuff. He had books that I wanted out of the house and he would only sell them when I thought (I didn't tell him) that they should have been destroyed. I had to get a long way (energetically) from that stuff.
I have felt like my mum's energy rubbed off on me when she passed, and I had to find a way of clearing that. I practice Reiki and have had some really revealing spiritual experiences. For me, the clearest experience was a series of energetically threatening experiences. It's is hard to describe, but I had to face up to something huge. It took a long time, but after a solid week, when each night there would be an overwhelming, heavy, awful presence with me all night, I faced up to it. I had to go through some stages, and then I faced it and I was judged. All the creepy negative stuff that I had been trying to get away from before that seemed so tiny and laughable after that, and I stopped worrying about darkness and light so much. I have lucid dreams where I go to my front door at night to lock it, and the key keeps turning in it but never locks and I choose to go out now, and face up to whatever is out there. I don't know if this is anything like channeling.
The presence is definitely not a light or high vibration energy though. It is huge, dense and bull-like, and the only way I can describe the vibration is round, and like it surrounds and expands away at the same time.
I also don't feel Reiki after this, but I trust it completely.
I haven't heard the word oversoul before. Do you think it has to be light?
I feel most grounded after I have been swimming (probably just because of the heavy feeling) but I also feel more energised and connected to my potential. I haven't spoken about this, and I feel unsure of why I want to write it here. It was just a big flip for me in how I felt the spirit, and it feels safe, even though it is like dark water. Do you know of anything like this?