[dimlyFourOwls]

I feel this intense negative energy, overwhelming, from my family that really physically hurts me. It's beyond psychological. It's not just anguish or remorse, it's physical pain, verging on tactile. And I sort of "see" it with my inner eye, or feel it, in the air, in the room, when I walk into one of my family members' rooms or the living room when someone is in the living room. It causes me these stings of pain, again, bordering on tactile but not quite, and it prevents me from talking to my family or visiting them throughout the day (we all work odd hours so we're home a lot during the day).

I also get this overwhelming sense of aggression from strangers to whom I have done nothing when I go to the gym and I see them, or they walk by me.

It's completely intuitive and there's nothing overtly wrong. It's just a terrible feeling and psychiatry says it's not real, it's in my head. How can it not be real? Why does everyone hate me so much?

My logical brain sees the world around me and doesn't register anything is wrong. My dad will just be sleeping on the sofa or my mom will be watching TV or my brother will be playing computer games, and the strangers at the gym do not make any overt gestures towards me or even indicate they have acknowledged me beyond me being in their background presence.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry I don't know what to tell you about this. Perhaps you are what is referred to as a "highly sensitive person"? Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-m...sitive-person/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-do...sitive-person/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2...sitive-person/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...sitive-person/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/naviga...sitive-person/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-se...om-negativity/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-gift...hly-sensitive/

[dimlyFourOwls]

Thanks for the resources, skeezyks.

[dimlyFourOwls]

I had a hunch I could be picking up on things most people don't pick up on, but I'm just always astounded my family could be exhuding so much negative energy, and toward me specifically. They are always so kind toward me overtly. I don't understand it. It doesn't make sense.

[dimlyFourOwls]

I guess no one has any input. That's not the greatest, but it's okay because I'm going to start seeing a therapist, not the crappy in-network therapists that just tell you to take deep breaths when you feel like you're dying, but a consulting firm therapist. What I mean is, there's a network my health insurance consults with who has therapists and I'm going to see one of those. Someone who might actually talk to me about my problems and help me with them.

[dimlyFourOwls]

And to update things, I still get this overwhelming force of negative energy from family members and strangers who technically have no problem with me.

[tevelygo]

Originally Posted by dimlyFourOwls

And to update things, I still get this overwhelming force of negative energy from family members and strangers who technically have no problem with me.

Can you imagine the people behaving in a different way where you would not feel this negative energy?