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Old 07-23-2018, 04:21 PM #1
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Default Is there a term for this?

Hey hey...

I'm just curious.

I struggle with hanging on to a sense of identity. I'm constantly trying to figure out who I am and what I like. When I do get a sense of this it feels oh so fragile. Sometimes I feel like I may have ADD. I flit from one sense of identity and likes to another.

Is there a term for this? I'm diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder depressive type and GAD. I'm wanting to get ptsd added as well. I know with my past childhood trauma I wasn't able to develop a healthy sense of self.
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Old 07-23-2018, 07:05 PM #2
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

I am not too good with medical terminology. All that comes to mind is "dissociative identity disorder" but you'd have to look into it, I'm not sure it's correct or even correct at all. It's just a word that comes to mind from your description, I'm not saying I'd even call you that.
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Old 07-23-2018, 07:08 PM #3
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

I think with dissociative identity disorder, the person is fragmented into multiple personalities. It's what used to be called "multiple personality disorder." I'm not sure cptsd is suffering from this, although it is possible.
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:31 PM #4
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

Hmm, thank you for the feedback. I know that when experiencing ongoing trauma people can dissociate from it. I'm learning that's definitely what I would do. Many times it was the only way to escape the trauma. That might be one of the reasons I have the appearance of calm a lot. I somehow disconnect from how I feel and the situation. I've noticed that I don't really know how I'm supposed to react to situations anymore (example I don't always know when something is supposed to be cause for anger and how to express anger in a healthy way).

I looked up depersonalization, and I know I've experienced that. I'm wondering if I would fit somewhere on the dissociative disorder spectrum.
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Old 07-24-2018, 06:30 PM #5
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

I have depersonalizations sometimes too. Could be my PTSD idk but I do get it.
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Old 07-25-2018, 02:48 PM #6
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
I have depersonalizations sometimes too. Could be my PTSD idk but I do get it.
I'm glad people get it and that feeling is recognizable. I'm still not sure of the term. I may ask my therapist. I'm sure this feeling I have will be addressed in therapy.
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Old 07-25-2018, 04:02 PM #7
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

I get existential crisis. Which kind of fits into how you feel about yourself in this world. Like what's this all for. A lot has to do with ego and loss of ego.

With me its like I have nothing left to hang on to. Whatever I'm trying to hang onto doesn't matter.

I worked so hard to be someone or something and I don't know where that person has gone.



After each episode I lose a great deal of character. My whole identity is forced to change and I can never go back.

The only thing to do is move forward.

I know I have some ptsd from these hospitals and a stay at jail. I just seem to try and not think about it but this can't be healthy. I have nighmarres almost every night and sometimes wake up in cold sweats thinking I'm still locked up in a hole.

Good topic
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Old 07-25-2018, 04:28 PM #8
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cptsdwhoa View Post
Hey hey...

I'm just curious.

I struggle with hanging on to a sense of identity. I'm constantly trying to figure out who I am and what I like. When I do get a sense of this it feels oh so fragile. Sometimes I feel like I may have ADD. I flit from one sense of identity and likes to another.

Is there a term for this? I'm diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder depressive type and GAD. I'm wanting to get ptsd added as well. I know with my past childhood trauma I wasn't able to develop a healthy sense of self.
I dont think there actually is a name for this. many people who have no disorders go through situations where they are questioning who they are, what they like, what they dont like and so on....

but I can give you some normal names for this....

examples.....(please keep in mind I am not saying these are you, this is just a general list of things that I know are completely normal life situations where people question their self and their likes and dislikes)

puberty
growing pains,
school of hard knocks
7 year itch
mid life crisis
peri menopause
menopause
post menopause
someone who has had someone they know die or get into an accident can also cause a person to question their self, their life and what and who they are,
teens about to graduate high school go through this too.....

my own experiences on this Im a lesbian. I have met many lgbq's who have questioned who they are as a person and what kinds of things they like, my own children are constantly changing who and what they are based on their own preferences, taste buds, movie they saw. one told me a week ago he is an astronaut in disguise and this morning he says he is a fireman, to morrow he may decide he is just a kid who likes to play with a variety of toys. one says they are a computer programmer because they do their school work on the computer. one likes broccoli one cant stand hot dogs,....

my point there are many many completely normal reasons why a person would question who they are and what kinds of things they like to do, eat, and so on.

but if this continues to bother you maybe you can contact your treatment providers who can diagnose this directly in you as it relates to you.
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Old 07-27-2018, 07:46 PM #9
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christopher1990 View Post
I get existential crisis. Which kind of fits into how you feel about yourself in this world. Like what's this all for. A lot has to do with ego and loss of ego.

With me its like I have nothing left to hang on to. Whatever I'm trying to hang onto doesn't matter.

I worked so hard to be someone or something and I don't know where that person has gone.



After each episode I lose a great deal of character. My whole identity is forced to change and I can never go back.

The only thing to do is move forward.

I know I have some ptsd from these hospitals and a stay at jail. I just seem to try and not think about it but this can't be healthy. I have nighmarres almost every night and sometimes wake up in cold sweats thinking I'm still locked up in a hole.

Good topic
Oh I get having an existential crisis BIG time. I've had many of those. I remember three of them most clearly. While in the ward six years ago, and after my stay there I had to move back to my hometown (which involved a major event that spent me spiraling for about five years). Also, there was a neighbor of mine who died in our apartment complex. I ended up back in the ward from my existential crisis that occurred after his passing.

I understand losing that sense of character. I would tell people and treatment providers about how I didn't know who I was anymore. I had no skills, hobbies, or life. I'm slowing rediscovering much of myself thank God.

Wow, I'm just giving you a big virtual hug if that's okay . I'm hoping that you can work through that trauma and heal. I worry about how my brother will be when he's released. I can't imagine what jail/prison must be like.
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Old 07-27-2018, 07:51 PM #10
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Default Re: Is there a term for this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post
I dont think there actually is a name for this. many people who have no disorders go through situations where they are questioning who they are, what they like, what they dont like and so on....

but I can give you some normal names for this....

examples.....(please keep in mind I am not saying these are you, this is just a general list of things that I know are completely normal life situations where people question their self and their likes and dislikes)

puberty
growing pains,
school of hard knocks
7 year itch
mid life crisis
peri menopause
menopause
post menopause
someone who has had someone they know die or get into an accident can also cause a person to question their self, their life and what and who they are,
teens about to graduate high school go through this too.....

my own experiences on this Im a lesbian. I have met many lgbq's who have questioned who they are as a person and what kinds of things they like, my own children are constantly changing who and what they are based on their own preferences, taste buds, movie they saw. one told me a week ago he is an astronaut in disguise and this morning he says he is a fireman, to morrow he may decide he is just a kid who likes to play with a variety of toys. one says they are a computer programmer because they do their school work on the computer. one likes broccoli one cant stand hot dogs,....

my point there are many many completely normal reasons why a person would question who they are and what kinds of things they like to do, eat, and so on.

but if this continues to bother you maybe you can contact your treatment providers who can diagnose this directly in you as it relates to you.

Thanks so much for this! I'm glad that this can actually be quite normal. If I can remember that then maybe I can be a little gentler with myself. I think I'm mostly concerned about how identity factors into having an existential crisis (or a few honestly, if you'll see my reply to Christopher1990). It was like, one minute I was a little more sure of myself and the next poof gone.

Perhaps I was never really all that sure. Well, honestly, I KNOW that I was really never all that sure.
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