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Old 05-13-2019, 09:04 PM #1
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Default Dating with a diagnosis

I try to live as normally as I can. I work but it's part time. I live in disabled subsidized housing with seniors. Now I'm trying to find love. But worry about the sz reveal.

I mean i have red flags divorced 3x, daughter lives with dad, son committed suicide. I don't know, but if they even get past those it's a small miracle. Yet I'm still deciding to be pickier about who I date. But I don't want to end up alone.

I just shot down a guy who claimed to be really into me. Even after telling him most stuff. Minus dx but ssd. I wasn't into him, despite him being rich as he said. My thought was all I would care about is your money and he would want a prenup.

So I told him not interested in getting involved with someone who wants a prenup. His exwife took some money from him now he's bitter. Anyway, worried about the next guy.

Talking with one whose a better match on paper but worried about him knowing my truths. I really like him so far and am really hopeful but concerned.
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Old 05-18-2019, 05:52 AM #2
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Default Re: Dating with a diagnosis

Sorry to hear about your son. I can't imagine how you deal with the loss every day.. it must be very difficult.


Most people in my experience don't understand severe mental illness, you probably did the right thing. If you are lucky enough to find someone who understands they generally have to get to know you first, and even then when you tell them they won't see past the diagnosis. Being alone is not so bad. I feel it might be more helpful to work on why you don't want to be alone, and look at the positives in it. Am not saying you won't meet someone, but looking for it usually means it doesn't happen, it happens when you don't expect it anyway, if it does. I am single for life now and although I don't like being alone there is not alternative with the issues I have. But I can go where I want and do what I want, and visit who I want when I want.


That of course is just my view, but I think coming to terms with living and being alone is perhaps the best thing to do, whether you meet someone or not. It will also raise your own standards and not put up with any **** from anyone who is interested.


Best of luck with it all. Hugs. xx
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Old 05-19-2019, 03:27 PM #3
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Default Re: Dating with a diagnosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by romantic rose View Post
Sorry to hear about your son. I can't imagine how you deal with the loss every day.. it must be very difficult.


Most people in my experience don't understand severe mental illness, you probably did the right thing. If you are lucky enough to find someone who understands they generally have to get to know you first, and even then when you tell them they won't see past the diagnosis. Being alone is not so bad. I feel it might be more helpful to work on why you don't want to be alone, and look at the positives in it. Am not saying you won't meet someone, but looking for it usually means it doesn't happen, it happens when you don't expect it anyway, if it does. I am single for life now and although I don't like being alone there is not alternative with the issues I have. But I can go where I want and do what I want, and visit who I want when I want.


That of course is just my view, but I think coming to terms with living and being alone is perhaps the best thing to do, whether you meet someone or not. It will also raise your own standards and not put up with any **** from anyone who is interested.


Best of luck with it all. Hugs. xx
I am sorry I did not pick up on the last paragraph there for some reason. No idea why.

It's good that you've met someone. But remember that if it doesn't work out, it's not your fault and if they can't handle the diagnosis it's their issue. It's not something to be ashamed of, and if it puts them off then they are not worth getting upset over.

Best of luck.
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Old 05-19-2019, 05:56 PM #4
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Default Re: Dating with a diagnosis

I would initially just take it slowly and gauge the situation. If you think he can handle your current situation and status, then tell him details little by little. I told the current person I'm involved with about my illness the second time I met him in person. He accepts me as me. He is not perfect either so we complement each other. It takes time to build a rapport. I would not tell them all at once initially about your illness and situation. It may be too overwhelming.
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