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Old 05-22-2020, 10:56 PM   #171
Breaking Dawn
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Hi everyone! You all hang in there. Ok?
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Old 05-22-2020, 11:24 PM   #172
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I was still tired this morning. And, I took a nap again. Now, I feel fine. I am still wondering if I should get orthokeratology lenses but realize the eye doctor has to see if they can work on me first. I am exhausted most of the time. I am happy I did not get too many students yet. Erasing my early morning slots was a good idea. I took my medication this morning and am doing fine otherwise. I am teaching today- until night. I will be ok!
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Old 05-23-2020, 09:41 PM   #173
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I have a student today. Then, I will go shopping. I was thinking that I should return to school one day. My job has no guarantees for the future. I want to get a masters in something science. I realize there are people with mental illness who do nursing, psychology, and even genetics counseling. The last field is one of interest to me. Although it is hard to get into a genetics counseling program, I believe I can get into one somewhere if I try. I just have to try. I like teaching but don't believe I will have this job for a long time. The economy here is lagging and also there are too many teachers here also. I was blessed to get a job. And, I will do my best to do my job until I try to get into school again. I am so excited about these times where there are advances in science and technology. I thought about just teaching until I retire but if I can combine teaching, science, and helping others this would be amazing. I have to build my stamina though. I am always sleepy. I'm doing a good job so far. But, I'm getting more students at night. I need to pace myself. I am happy these days and feel really grateful for my job. I also am grateful for the medication. Hopefully, in two years I can apply to some masters program and get in and do well.
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Old 05-24-2020, 11:14 PM   #174
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Well, I thought about returning to the states to do a masters and it does not make sense to me to do so. I really like it here. Peaceful and safe. I need to focus on what I can do here. I believe if I keep doing a good job, my job will turn into a full-time one. So, I won't become rich or anything. But, I have some free time and am happy so far. I know of some teachers who got promoted within the company. So, may be, I can find out if there is such a policy for good teachers. I don't mind teaching and actually love teaching. I can stick with this job until I can't do it anymore. I just want to enjoy my time off. I think going back to school and incurring a debt is not wise at my age. I also can't work here anymore. I love this country. I hope I can stay here until I die. I must invest my life here. I fit in nicely here. My job is to teach medical English so it is not as if I am teaching basic English only. I like my job. I love it here. I'm not as stressed here. I think I should take these facts into consideration. I feel grateful about my job. I hope it lasts until I don't want to do it anymore. I should feel thankful for what I have, not what I want.
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Old 05-26-2020, 01:43 AM   #175
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I am doing well. I contacted the head of a genetics counseling program here. I hope to hear from him. I would not mind going back to school here if possible. I really like it here. So far, all is good. I feel great today for once! I exercised a bit by walking. Life is not bad. If I hear from the head, I hope it is good news. If not, I will just do teaching for awhile. I like my job but sometimes feel really tired. I feel grateful nevertheless for my job. This Friday, I will see if I can get orthokeratology lenses too. I am happy!! Hopefully, I won't have to wear my glasses anymore. We shall see!
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Old 05-27-2020, 04:19 AM   #176
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I feel as if I am walking on eggshells because I have to worry about students complaining about me. I'm getting new students and have to be careful. I like this job but the review process is anxiety provoking. But, so far nobody else has complained yet.

I have not heard from the head of the school yet. I will wait for a week then give it up. I could ask other schools but realize they are all about the same. I hope to hear from him.


I am tired as usual. I slept most of the day after doing my morning shift. I have to teach tonight too.

I am doing well otherwise. I took my medication in the morning. I feel ok.
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Old 05-27-2020, 08:03 AM   #177
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Doing fine this morning. I guess that I don't feel like I have mental illness as usual. I am not sure why I was convinced by doctors and therapists before that I had one. I suppose I just got really afraid.

It seems to me like mental illness is seriously mishandled in today's age. I don't know why, just that I think in my case, people didn't understand me. Nobody ever understood exactly what I was going through except for me. Thus it seems like no one can ever have much insight into the nature of mental illness because it's a personal thing.

I am not sure why I am thinking this way. Perhaps I've gotten to the point where I don't really mind voicing my opinions?

Usually I'm on the fence about meds and therapy and stuff.
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Old 05-27-2020, 08:26 PM   #178
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Egh, just going to go to bed. I mean, I don't particularly know why I posted that earlier. I think that I do have schizoaffective disorder and I need meds. Anyway... For the record.
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Old 05-28-2020, 01:41 AM   #179
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I took a nap. I was tired. I went up the stairs though. I feel ok now.

I have not heard from the head of the school yet.
I am wondering if he will write, may be not.
It is ok. For me, going to school is a big challenge. I am always tired. It is not a good indicator. I need my sleep.

My job is going. I like my job though. I have fun and it is not that hard.


Life is not bad!! I took my medication as always in the morning.

Tomorrow, I will see if the night time contacts work for me.
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Old 05-28-2020, 10:21 AM   #180
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I seem to be ok, but not accomplishing what I want to.
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