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StrangerthnFiction
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Arrow Dec 22, 2019 at 12:54 PM
  #1
I recently had a hospital stay for schizoaffective disdorder, bipolar type I.


Today marks the beginning of a really good and quiet and calm place for me. All I did was organize the space around me, buy some things that I actually needed plus a haircut, and decide what I should do with the amount of time I spend at home. Some of it is play because I've never been playful before.


Another thing is that I don't have a mouth for many complaints, negativity, or just plain hatred/bitterness. I still lack some social skills though and hope PsychCentral can help with that.


I hope to use the computer more efficiently because I would love to be knowledgeable about them in the future. I am a millennial and I know computers really are probably never going out of style. Society is just going to get used to them in the future because they are easy to use and work better in multiple job settings. Plus, entertainment.


I am also doing things I didn't do before because I was not realizing that it was too important to miss. I am making plans about this part of getting more out-in-the-world. I enjoy consciously and willfully understanding and performing a task to achieve a good end now. Before it was like sometimes I would just dawdle. Well, more like all the time. Not even playfully.


I guess that it means I interpreted correctly some, let's say, signs from the universe and that I should just let go of some baggage I carry from memories or regrets. They aren't out of the ordinary, but letting go of the baggage means I can get a fresh kick in the pants to start a different course in life: what I feel is happening.

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Desoxyn
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Default Dec 22, 2019 at 02:53 PM
  #2
Awesome! Here's a piece of cool advice I gave to myself you can use it too for this situation of getting out of the psych ward;

“It's just a thing that happens. There's alway many ways to get better.. just not knowing how.. How are other people well? Their brains are working properly.. You can't give up. Keep surviving. Maybe you don't have the proper treatment team, the right meds, something bad happened to you which you're currently thinking about.. and then there's the maintaining on top of all of those things like taking care of yourself mentally and physically like anyone else would. It's a load of crap that you need to think about on top of mental illness and how to deal with it and be better (But you're just maintaining not going off into the deep end).

It's a lot of work. Then people judge you for what you do and you have thoughts of outside forces playing you like a game.

Everything can be really beautiful, calm, awakening and full of life experience. No one wants to die when the afterlife is a mystery or whether or not it even exists.. if it doesn't exist, then everything that is your ego is what wants to stay alive and the only thing that makes you want to die is the pain.

It can feel like when you're in the state of feeling dysphoric and having paranoia and delusions that you'll be this way forever with periods of just being "OK" in between so like, "Is it worth it?". It always is. It's not a choice because you never know if you're dead.

Try doing things to distract yourself (Coping mechanisms) like making tea, just sitting down and thinking even though it's agony because your brain is trying to figure things out along with the chemical imbalance. Depression and psychosis is a form of addiction because you're always constantly stuck in a loop, feeding off itself. If there was a way to reset the brain to default mode, you'd see that everything that you are can be changed. We're constantly changing and you don't have to be stuck in the hell that you're in.”
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Default Mar 11, 2020 at 05:38 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
If there was a way to reset the brain to default mode, you'd see that everything that you are can be changed. We're constantly changing and you don't have to be stuck in the hell that you're in.”

Isn't that what ECT is- resetting the brain?

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