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mindmechanic
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Default Aug 09, 2015 at 11:13 PM
  #1
If you're diagnosed with SPD or have schizoid tendencies, do you ever feel lonely or alienated?

I'm not sure if I ever feel "lonely"; however, I do feel alienated when I'm out and see families and friends hanging out with each other. It reminds me of how much I feel "different" from others. When I see people having relationships with each other and enjoying their time together, I think to myself, "How do they do it?" I think therein stems the feelings of alienation.
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Default Aug 11, 2015 at 10:23 AM
  #2
i have schizoid tendencies and i do identify with what you are saying. i dont often feel lonely. my son comes to my house now and then, thankfully cause he takes the trash out for me, lol, but it is like, he will "hang out" with me and the whole time i think, "what the hell is he still here for? why hasnt he left yet?" even when my other child has come to visit who i hadnt seen for years as she was overseas and she only stopped in for a couple visits, but after an hour or so i cant focus any longer cause my mind is spinning wondering when she is going to leave. it is not that i dont love my kids, i often feel so guilty that i dont have a bond because of these schizoid traits. they had so much fun making fun of me in their teens, hugging on me till i had a panic attack.

i am working on establishing relationships, i want them to be important, and i see friends with family and wonder why that is so hard for me, it looks so simple. and if i try to make plans with them and i am rejected because they are already committed to a family event, i cant comprehend what is so important about that family event that they have to be there when they see those people so often. i just dont get it.

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Default Aug 11, 2015 at 11:15 AM
  #3
i am schizoid and i don't prefer loneliness but i am forced to loneliness, all my thoughts are taking me to not communicate with even my parents or my siblings, i tend to believe that there is something wrong with me and i am socially unacceptable while i am very normal and the more i think i am weird the more i act weird
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Default Aug 11, 2015 at 10:12 PM
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Thank you all for sharing. Not wanting to be a part of the families a schizoid tendency. I think it is difficult for outsiders to see how we're able to keep to ourselves so much and spend that much time alone. Intellectually, do you see the value of relationships? Or do you just not get it on an emotional level?

I always felt different (out-of-place) since I was a little kid. I couldn't click with kids my age and preferred hanging out adults. As I grew older, I thought that maybe it's because I'm an old soul. But now I'm beginning to see that there's more going on - I truly do have schizoid tendencies. When you don't even fit in with the people who don't fit in, it indicates that something is really wrong with you.

Are you guys inclined to think that our schizoid tendencies are innate or brought on by our environment and experiences? Or maybe it's the combination of both factors. I think that the childhood abuse played a role, but I think that I was already predisposed to schizoid tendencies prior to the abuse. I feel like my schizoid tendencies are irreversible even if I'm able to heal and come to terms with the abuse. I tend to stay away from absolute statements; however, I think and feel that this schizoid part of me wouldn't change. I literally do not see a need for people except for occasions when I need a doctor or help with whatever that I'm working on. I rarely desire human contact as well, unless I'm very bored and feeling goofy.
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Default Aug 12, 2015 at 10:40 PM
  #5
Hi. I'm dxed with SPD. I also have some StPD tendencies. I used to feel lonely and alienated when I was younger. It's very rare for me to feel that way now. I used to think I was adopted when I was a kid because of how unattached I felt from my family compared to others. I don't remember ever being able to truly bond with someone else, so I guess I really "don't know what I'm missing".
So, emotionally and intellectually I really don't see the value of relationships beyond the sociological reasonings.

Where being schizoid comes from for me... hard to say. I'll probably never really know. Both nature and nurture are possibilities.

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Default Aug 15, 2015 at 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Rand. View Post
I used to think I was adopted when I was a kid because of how unattached I felt from my family compared to others. I don't remember ever being able to truly bond with someone else, so I guess I really "don't know what I'm missing".
Did you also feel different from your family? That could be a reason why you thought that you were adopted.

I can empathize about the bond. You look at others capable of having relationships with each other, and you don't really know what you're missing, but you know that you're missing something in the sense that something isn't right with you.
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Default Aug 17, 2015 at 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by mindmechanic View Post
Did you also feel different from your family? That could be a reason why you thought that you were adopted.

I can empathize about the bond. You look at others capable of having relationships with each other, and you don't really know what you're missing, but you know that you're missing something in the sense that something isn't right with you.
Yes very different. Still do. But then, I feel different from everybody. Although since coming to PC I've been able to relate with people in different things.

The second part you worded very well. One study found that the thing that people said gave meaning to their life the most, other people, namely family I think, came out on top. Eh something to that effect. It did make me think anyways.

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