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Anonymous37793
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Default Nov 18, 2015 at 06:23 PM
  #1
Yes, I just chose that title in a schizoid sub-forum.
I have no idea where else to post this, as this is the second place of the 2 that seemed at least remotely fitting.
I'm here because to be blunt I'm looking for someone similar as me.
From what I gathered, schizoids actually don't really feel a lot in general and don't mind being alone. However, I've read a lot about people who think they "have" this and maybe even have an official diagnosis, who actually still have friends/family/children/...
So I've come to believe there might be some people around here who simply don't understand themselves that well or believe the opinion of professionals maybe a bit too fast. (no offense intended).
Chances are I might just have a wrong idea about it myself.
But I'm here now exactly because I feel like there is some confusion about schizoids, be it on my end or other peoples.
The basics about me are.. I go out of the house once a week at best, because of forced appointments and the need to learn to at least get used to basic chores like shopping. I never had or wanted friends outside of the internet. I still desire close relationships, just online only, reallife can go screw itself for me.
I don't usually visit forums or at least never post anything myself, I actually had a pretty bad repulsion to even post on this forum, but I'm somewhat used to it now. I won't stay here forever though, I have a purpose to be here and once that's done or I gave up, I'm gone again.
I'm not interested in most people and it's hard for me to relate to others, or care about them, mostly just because they're so different then me or even hate me when they get to know me a bit better.
I'm actually open and like to talk a lot... online, if I actually like someone.

So what I'm looking for is someone where there is no "danger" of them getting absorbed into reallife things, I guess? I'm sure I can form some kind of bond with someone if things actually fit fine, which is actually kind of hard with me.
I wouldn't want to get to know someone who only wants superficial contact, as I see contacts like that as utterly useless and they actually tend to make me feel worse. Also I can be full of negativity sometimes... and paranoid... and nosy.

If you can handle work or have friends outside of the internet then I'm already not interested in trying to have contact, I'm not going to bother explaining why, but I've found those 2 to be pretty good indicators for it. School is fine, if it makes you want to die or kill, I understand that too well, without being able to quit it either.

I'd also welcome any suggestion on where else to go with this.
Questions are fine too, or a little enlightenment about the confusion I mentioned earlier.

I honestly don't think this is the right place for me, but I'm afraid there is no place to find people who have no reallife at all, have no interest in getting one, while at the same time still having desires for a close relationship and being unwilling to change to fit into "society", like everyone wants.
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MiddayNap
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Default Nov 19, 2015 at 11:55 AM
  #2
You are looking for someone with whom you can relate to, and who will not be bothered by your spontaneous departure? Someone who does not form emotional attachments, in other words?
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Anonymous37793
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Default Nov 19, 2015 at 12:38 PM
  #3
I actually don't really know. I'm just really lonely sometimes and there's nothing really to do about it. I probably won't ever feel not-lonely deep down, given my nature of limiting everything to online and home activities/contacts, but I do want to try to feel a bit better while still living like this.
I actually happen to just not login anywhere for a while sometimes, but that is probably for different reasons then I expect most people here to do it. Again I might just be wrong.
I'd actually want to try to form attachments by talking a lot or doing anything together if possible, like you can expect me to ask about yourself.
Will I get attached? Probably not, but that's more because I have bad experienced with attachments than anything else and that doesn't mean I won't have any feelings, and that's the minimum of what I expect as well, regarding feelings/attachment.
I write too much sometimes.

I am looking for someone I can relate to, who at least would care if I, let's say die. Taking breaks from people is fine and should be fine if I do that too. Emotional attachments should be there in some kind of form, I don't need to be told to be cared about or cheesy things like that, but I wouldn't want to just be a pile of dirt where it makes no difference for someone if it exists or not either. Someone who would talk to me out of their own interest I guess.
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MiddayNap
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Default Nov 19, 2015 at 02:50 PM
  #4
Do you think, perhaps, you are avoiding social interactions due to, what I assume to be, unsatisfactory past-experiences? That might explain the loneliness.

I can't promise any bonds will be formed, but I do fit your criteria and it might be nice to speak with someone with a similar disposition.
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Default Nov 19, 2015 at 03:53 PM
  #5
Kind of, I just learned that it's nothing I enjoy or want. For me it has something to do with a lot of discomfort and stress, not simply not caring about it at all. It's something negative even if it's a person that isn't even "bad". Maybe because of anxiety.
Either way, I'll send you a PM later or maybe tomorrow, I'm being a bit tired today and don't really feel like going into details with things like these at the moment.
I still wanted to at least reply with something.
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