Ending my fantasy life - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-11-2017, 07:49 PM #1
Timaabmfo Timaabmfo is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 11
Timaabmfo Timaabmfo is offline
Junior Member
Timaabmfo has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 11

1 yr Member
12 hugs
given
Default Ending my fantasy life

Oh dear, it seems that after about five years i have grown bored with my fantasy life. Its something that has been very personal to me so I wont be discussing the details, not even my doc knows about the specifics. I am moving to a new city next year and the timing works.

I just have to stop... like ripping off a band-aid...

Lets see how long i can last before falling into another falsehood. Does anybody else like to change things up every now and then? I havent met anybody else like me before.
Timaabmfo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 11-14-2017, 07:45 PM #2
Timaabmfo Timaabmfo is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 11
Timaabmfo Timaabmfo is offline
Junior Member
Timaabmfo has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 11

1 yr Member
12 hugs
given
Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

Not sure if I can go cold turkey. Have been thinking about transitioning to a new reality but even that makes me anxious. My question above still stands.

Timaa.
Timaabmfo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-16-2017, 05:06 AM #3
Grath's Avatar
Grath Grath is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 114
Grath Grath is offline
Member
Grath's Avatar
Grath has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 114

1 yr Member
59 hugs
given
Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

I can somehow relate.
I've noticed some time ago that all my interests follow a cycle:
– First I gain a genuine interest and while it's not that important to me get gradually better at it
– The interest turns into an obsession, I begin to compare myself to others and get progressively more anxious about it, until I only pursue it because of fear of being inferior to others
– After a long period of depression, the only way out is to do something completely different, completely turn my life around, leave everyone and everything behind and start anew. Often this is connected with a feeling of glee.

Right now, I'm at the last stage once again. I'm tired of my old life and wish myself far away every day.
Grath is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-16-2017, 05:41 AM #4
Purple,Violet,Blue's Avatar
Purple,Violet,Blue Purple,Violet,Blue is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Britain
Posts: 2,322
Purple,Violet,Blue Purple,Violet,Blue is offline
Magnate
Purple,Violet,Blue's Avatar
Purple,Violet,Blue has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Britain
Posts: 2,322 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
6,945 hugs
given
Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

It's hard to say without knowing what the fantasy is. Of course, don't say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

So you might, perhaps, be spending too long in a game.... or on the internet, or you might be infatuated with a person....
Purple,Violet,Blue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-30-2017, 07:13 PM #5
Talthybius Talthybius is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 565
Talthybius Talthybius is offline
Veteran Member
Talthybius has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 565

3 yr Member
Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

I don't know what you are really describing, so I can only comment on my own experience with my fantasy life.

Mine seems to be floating away from me. It is more obvious everyday that it is fleeting. I thought that it would be real enough for it to be comforting to me, and for it to fill the holes in my actual life. In my fantasy world I can control how people perceive me, so I come across the way I think I ought to come across; be the real me.

But it is all becoming grey, being diluted with time. The romanticism and the emotional intensity is disappearing. I guess part of it is me getting older and actual life occupying more of my time. I should become more desperate to maintain the same level of fantasy life. But instead, I now have to deal with my mundane life and accept that I am going to become this old person without these cool traits I think I should have to be the true me. And things I need to accept myself as an actual mundane person becoming old; I don't have those and I don't see any strong progression there.
Talthybius is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 12-01-2017, 11:57 AM #6
anonymous50007
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
anonymous50007
Guest
anonymous50007 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

I had a very rich and intricate fantasy life for many years (since I was a kid). There were two kinds, the fictional fantasies, and real life introjects (having conversations with real people in my life - but as the real me, not my facades).

I felt more emotional in my fantasies than in real life. I became attached to them and the characters. It felt safe to be me and express myself there than with anyone in real life.

It became such a habit that a few years ago I had to make a real concerted effort to stop, and it was really hard at first.

I spent many hours per day in fantasy. I don't know why I stopped, except that 3 years ago I started getting back in the real world again, working and stuff.

But I also have felt a lot more stressed, and frustrated, since I stopped. I kind of miss it, and still go there some times.

It's something that was very private and I kept to myself. I guess I started feeling like atleast some of it was childish and that's why I stopped. I was in my late 30's when I finally gave it up.

I never felt like it was abnormal, it was just a very private thing, but it did start to feel childish to me.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 12-01-2017, 12:27 PM #7
LittleEarthquakes's Avatar
LittleEarthquakes LittleEarthquakes is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 678
LittleEarthquakes LittleEarthquakes is offline
Veteran Member
LittleEarthquakes's Avatar
LittleEarthquakes has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 678

3 yr Member
126 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

Quote:
Originally Posted by _nullandvoid_ View Post
I had a very rich and intricate fantasy life for many years (since I was a kid). There were two kinds, the fictional fantasies, and real life introjects (having conversations with real people in my life - but as the real me, not my facades).

I felt more emotional in my fantasies than in real life. I became attached to them and the characters. It felt safe to be me and express myself there than with anyone in real life.

It became such a habit that a few years ago I had to make a real concerted effort to stop, and it was really hard at first.

I spent many hours per day in fantasy. I don't know why I stopped, except that 3 years ago I started getting back in the real world again, working and stuff.

But I also have felt a lot more stressed, and frustrated, since I stopped. I kind of miss it, and still go there some times.

It's something that was very private and I kept to myself. I guess I started feeling like atleast some of it was childish and that's why I stopped. I was in my late 30's when I finally gave it up.

I never felt like it was abnormal, it was just a very private thing, but it did start to feel childish to me.
I've done something very similar since childhood and still do it sometimes. It can be very tempting to escape into my fantasy world. But after a bit it gives me brain fog.
LittleEarthquakes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 12-02-2017, 03:15 AM #8
anonymous50007
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
anonymous50007
Guest
anonymous50007 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

I think it's worth noting though that this isn't exclusively a schizoid thing. Avoidants and depressives can also engage in fantasy.

It's just a form of escapism, especially when reality seems far less appealing than fantasy.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 12-16-2017, 02:11 AM #9
Timaabmfo Timaabmfo is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 11
Timaabmfo Timaabmfo is offline
Junior Member
Timaabmfo has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 11

1 yr Member
12 hugs
given
Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

im glad to hear there are others out there who understand. i havent been very successful so far in separating myself from my fantasy life. i tried to bring it all to a head but it just keeps on going... tonight is the night i leave everything behind for a new city, its the best time to pull the plug but im having doubts as to whether i can actually do this anymore.
Timaabmfo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 12-16-2017, 08:20 AM #10
Purple,Violet,Blue's Avatar
Purple,Violet,Blue Purple,Violet,Blue is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Britain
Posts: 2,322
Purple,Violet,Blue Purple,Violet,Blue is offline
Magnate
Purple,Violet,Blue's Avatar
Purple,Violet,Blue has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Britain
Posts: 2,322 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
6,945 hugs
given
Default Re: Ending my fantasy life

Good luck!

Change is hard. Well done for trying.
Purple,Violet,Blue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:20 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.