[KUREHA]

I never took meds, until a few weeks ago after I got sectioned.
Before I went in they asked if I'd take meds and I said no, but then because I knew I might be going to hospital I said yes.

The social worker there said I couldn't now because I needed hospital because I lacked insight and I wasn't commited to taking meds.
So because I was forced to hospital I think I have to take the meds.

It all seemed pretty extreme so I think they know everything I was saying was true and they want me to try not care or foget about it - so I end up dead.

Going to try and get off my meds and everyone be careful.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by KUREHA

The social worker there said I couldn't now because I needed hospital because I lacked insight and I wasn't commited to taking meds.

Are lacking insight and not being committed to meds the same thing?

[KUREHA]

No, she just said I would take them for a few weeks and stop - which was actually right.

[SpottedOwl]

(((KUREHA)))

If you have been going on and off your meds, it can be the cause of additional problems.

All medications are different, but I was on an atypical anti-psychotic, and I decided to go off of it. I told my doctor I was doing it, and slowly lowered my dosage using a tapering schedule.

I experienced all sorts of symptoms just by going off of the medication by tapering, I can only imagine how horrible it might be to quit cold turkey.

Whatever you decide, please be safe. Quitting meds can cause all sorts of problems. If you decide to stop, please research tapering methods and let your doctor and a loved one know so they can support you through the process.

[KUREHA]

Well I haven't stopped yet - hopefully this week though.
Thanks for letting me know how it was for you, I might do it that way then, might be best.

[KUREHA]

I can't come off them, or I'm back in hospital - it sucks

[spiritual_emergency]

Hello Kureha,
It does suck to not have a choice in the matter. I'm sorry -- I wish it were otherwise for you. Nonetheless, if that's the situation you're stuck with, it's what you're stuck with. Now, you have to work with the situation and try to make the best of it. At the very least, you're bound to learn something. Bear in mind that many people find medications to be helpful -- you might be one of them. Naturally, some people find they're not helpful but that doesn't automatically mean they're lacking in insight.

I suggest you invest some time in learning about the medications you've been prescribed and also educating the significant members of your support team in the process, i.e. -- your parents, therapist and possibly a select few close friends. There are solidly good reasons for doing so. You need to understand what these meds are all about, and what their potential benefits and risks are. You cannot possibly make an informed decision about taking them if you don't know how they can help you and how they can harm you. Neither can any member of your support team.

The following are some good links for people who are seeking to understand more about their medications. If you find something there that seems especially important, print it off and share it with your support team so the people who are in a position of supporting you can be as well informed as you are.

- rxlist.com: This site is medically oriented with detailed reports.

- drugs.com: Medically oriented site. Reports are not as detailed as rxlist.

- askapatient.com: Consumer-oriented site with consumer ratings and comments.

For the best overall picture, review information at both medically oriented sites and consumer oriented sites.

- Drug Interaction Checker: Allows you to search for drug interactions you should be aware of.

- Reclaiming Your Power During Medication Visits with your Psychiatrist: A handout prepared by diagnosed schizophrenic and clinical psychologist, Patricia Deegan.

If you were only going to read the information at one of those links, I'd suggest the article by Patricia Deegan.

Meantime, something else that may be beneficial is for you to agree to take the medications for a trial period with the intent to evaluate how well the meds are working for you. Six weeks to three months would probably be an adequate trial period, less if you should have a strong negative reaction. Remember that the goal of any treatment should be to bring improvement. If you're not seeing improvement within a reasonable period that's usually an indication that the treatment is not the most appropriate one for you at this time.

If improvement is the benchmark you're going to measure the treatment against, it might be a good idea to brainstorm with your support team to determine, what would be considered "improvement". For example, if you're bothered by voices now and the medications minimize that -- would you consider that to be a sign of improvement? Would your parents? What about your psychologist?

It might also be helpful to talk with them about "tolerable" side effects. For example, many of the atypical anti-psychotics are associated with weight gain. Some people consider that to be a tolerable side-effect, particularly if that's countered by other forms of relief. But they might find it intolerable if they were to develop diabetes as a result of taking the meds or if they became so tired, all they did was stay in their room. Solicit input from the rest of your support team -- what do they consider to be an intolerable or unacceptable side-effect? What will happen if you feel that a side-effect is intolerable and they feel it's acceptable?

Anyway, if you and your support team can come up with some guidelines in terms of assessing improvement and tolerability, benefit and risk -- that will make each of you much more capable of making a fair evaluation of the treatment. Then, at the end of that agreed upon trial period you can sit down with your support team and make a truly informed decision as to whether the treatment is actually helping and should be continued or if it's hindering and therefore, should be discontinued.

Best of luck to you, Kureha.

~ Namaste

[KUREHA]

Thanks - it just sucks having no choice

Thanks for the links, I checked 1 so far, but I will check the rest tomorrow

Yeah I guess a trial would be a good idea, I'll give it a bit longer - since I'm forced, I just don't want to be on them.
I'm lucky that I don't have side effects though

It's just what they are trying to do while I'm taking it

[pachyderm]

Kureha, you can go inside yourself and be you, whatever people on the outside are trying to do to you (good or bad). You can stay you.

[ECHOES]

Kureha,
Since you agree that a trial period might be a good idea, then it is your choice .
Could you look at it that way? That you are in charge of deciding to try this and see how it goes.. maybe write daily about how you're feeling so you can look back, read in your own words how being on the medication feels.

[KUREHA]

Well my nurse thinks the shortest time will be a year, so my trial has to be that long
I can't just stop after a few months - although I'd like to stop now.

I got told to never take meds and I'm worried I could miss a message, like it could block it, which is just what they want.

Thanks for the advice

My meds helped me to deal with some of the real scary stuff.
I still have some symptoms, but for the most part I am doing really well.
I hope the meds help you too. Be true to yourself and everything will fall in to place.

Your friend,

sardean

[KUREHA]

Thanks

Just I don't think it's anything meds can help with and I'm sure - I'll miss something.

[spiritual_emergency]

Kureha, are you feeling powerless? It sounds to me as if there are a number of voices in your life (i.e. nurses, doctors, maybe even your parents and therapist) that are saying you must take these medications. Then, you have some other voices in your life that are saying you should not take these medications. Where does that leave you except stuck in the middle finding it impossible to please either side? And what about you -- what does Kureha want? What do you feel would be most helpful?

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by KUREHA

Well my nurse thinks the shortest time will be a year, so my trial has to be that long

This sounds like it will be a very thorough trial!
You have time to have many many experiences while taking the meds, so that will give you a very good idea about how they work for you.
You are thinking the meds won't help, but with this good and thorough trial, you will know more.

[KUREHA]

Well I do feel pretty powerless, I didn't take them at the weekend though, it just makes me feel like a kid.

Be taking it again today - I did get a message yesterday, which proves the medication is blocking important stuff that I need to know.

I guess I'm stuck with it though, I see my doctor soon hopefully - so I'll see what he says.

[spiritual_emergency]

Hello Kureha,
In the Patricia Deegan article I linked above, there is an information packet that provides some guidelines for people who are undergoing a medication trial. These are some of the questions she suggests discussing with your psychiatrist/support team.

If your psychiatrist suggests a medication for you to use, don’t forget to ask:

1. “Exactly how will I know if this medication is working for me?” and “How long before I should start to notice an effect from this medication?”

2. “What side effects are associated with this drug?”

3. “If I should experience any of these side effects, what can I do about them?”

4. “How can I contact you if, during my medication trial, I have questions or
concerns I want to check out with you?”

5. “How long should my trial period on this on medication last?” and “When is my next appointment?”

She also suggests you create a simple daily chart that addresses each of the following areas:

My Medication Trail Period Chart (Chart to record daily experience)

Did I do my non-medication strategies today?

Did I take my new medication today?

How often did the symptom(s) occur today?

Was the symptom worse, somewhat better or much better today?

Any unwanted effects from the medication?

Observations from other people.

Source: Principles of a Recovery Model Including Medications

I suggest your trial will be most helpful to you if you make note of the times you did or did not make use of medications and what sort of symptoms or side-effects you experienced in either case.

Kureha: I guess I'm stuck with it though, I see my doctor soon hopefully - so I'll see what he says.

I think you're probably right. If you don't take the medication, it sounds as if you'll have to go to the hospital where they'll probably be more insistant that you take the meds or they'll give you injectable meds.

Unfortunately, I can't help but feel your best option is to go with the med trial. There is no way of reliably predicting how anyone will respond to meds -- it may be positive or negative. If they're actually helpful, you might find your own feelings about them change. However, if it's a negative response, it may be necessary that your caregivers go through a change of mind. Hopefully, you and everyone on your team will be able to enter that trial with an open mind.

Best of luck, Kureha.

[KUREHA]

Thanks for all the info - I just feel like a kid - being told what to do, I feel like I have no independence - and everyone is choosing for me - instead of asking me anything, when they don't even know what my best interests are.

My nurses, therapist and doctor - they all say the same thing

I'll keep a note of how things go though,

Thanks

[spiritual_emergency]

Kureha: I feel like I have no independence - and everyone is choosing for me - instead of asking me anything, when they don't even know what my best interests are.

One of the reasons I like to share the "Reclaiming Your Power" link by Patricia Deegan is because her approach supports people in doing just that -- reclaiming their ability to make their own best decisions for themselves. One of the things she talks about is "using medications" as opposed to "taking medications". The difference is, if you "use medications" they serve you; it you merely "take medications" you have become a passive participant.

So, as long as this trial lasts, I hope you learn to study and assess these medications to determine if they are going to serve you in any positive fashion. You're also going to discover if they're not. At the end of that period you'll either be able to make the active choice to continue using medications because you self-identify them as a helpful component of your support toolbox or you will elect to not use medications because you did not identify them as helpful.

If you elect to use meds it sounds like the professionals on your support team will be delighted. However if you elect to not choose them, you also need to be able to present a reasoned and intelligent case as to why you have made that choice. This is why it's so critical that you learn to carefully observe the impact they are having upon you and maintain a record of the same. If you haven't done that, then you will be in a poor position to negotiate on your own behalf if you want to see changes made in your medication treatment.

Don't overlook that medication is only one tool of many. Ideally, you will rely on several that can help you through difficult periods. Don't overlook that professionals are only one component of your total support team either. You also have friends and family, peers and, hopefully, mentors -- each of them serves a potentially invaluable role on your support team. For example, your parents may have more negotiating power with professionals than you do. This is part of the reason it's so important that they become as informed as you. Learn all that you can about the medication options but also, share that with them.

Crossing my fingers for you, Kureha.

~ Namaste

[KUREHA]

Thanks

Going to keep writing stuff down about it - so I can have something at least, thanks for giving me all this advice - been helpful.

My nurse and doctor are away right now, but I got my perscription dropped off for me

I'm worried about the new Super AIDS right now