[FireBird]

I have around 12 delusions and the medicine does not help that much. It helps with the hallucinations though. I think this is a world record for most number of "delusions" for one person. I still believe mine to be real instead of a delusion.
1. grandiose delusions- I control the world with my dreams and have the power to cause disasters.
2. The aliens are after me. Can't figure out why though. I have their thoughts in my head and they tell me what to do all day long. Sometimes they tell me to "walk slow" or "go catatonic" but other times its far more dangerous like "jump in front of traffic" or "cut or kill yourself."
3. The FBI and CIA are after me because of killing 350,000 people with my psychic dreams.
4. Thought broadcasting- There is a device that sends my thoughts to everyone on the planet! The aliens put it there.
5. Thought insertion- I have the aliens and government sending me thoughts that ain't mine.
6. I am a psychologist- This one is a delusion and I only say this because I actually know more than some of the psychologists that I've been to and they admitted it!
7. There are devices in my arm and in my brain.
8. That people are talking about me and my thoughts.
9. That my documents and everything I write on my computer ( all my private info) is posted on the Internet by some hacker.
10. Sometimes I believe I can fly and am a bird ( But this is due to my multiple personality disorder)
11. There is a listening device in my room.
12. There is also a personality who believes she's God.

How do I deal with it? It is scary as hell! I don't like being paranoid. But for some reason it is getting worse as time goes on instead of better with medicine. How do you deal with yours? What kinds of things do you believe in that no one else seems to believe?

[jaberwocky]

<font color="#880000"> Quite honestly you delusions are not that uncommon at all. I have thought most of those ... and others you did not mention. Delusions are rather private things and I am not going to make a list and compare who's list is longer.
I also have had many therapists, and a few of my psychiatrists say I had a grasp on things tha teven they did not have, however this does not mean I have suddenly become a lisenced psychiatrist.
Anyway , in case you were feeling bad about the number of delusions you have I wanted to let you know as an active member and avicate for mental health awareness as well as a former organizer of a schizophrenia help community that your delusions are not abnormal(for schizophrenics that is...)
Also many of them have quite a few more.

They are hard to deal with and I would take the hallucinations, voices, paranoia.. ect... over them anyday.

I guess you have to first realise that delusions are what exactly what they are and you have to be able to look at yourself from the outside. . . . and although they seem oh so very real you have to use all the logic in your power to at least give the idea that it is not real a chance.
Since you said you believe this is all true , you may have a harder time dealing with them.

But just at least know that you are not alone.
Best of luck to you and your stuggle.

Be as well as you can be

~Alice </font>

[schizoidwoman]

I had some minor delusions (I was 10 feet tall, everyone was staring at me all the time, I was an outsider in my own life watching myself) but have been able to get them under control using Zyprexa originally and now Abilify. I think you might do well to try a new medicine. Check with your doc to see if something else might be more effective.

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
Firebird: I have around 12 delusions... How do I deal with it? It is scary as hell! I don't like being paranoid. But for some reason it is getting worse as time goes on instead of better with medicine.

Sometimes I think delusions aren't delusions so much as they're a method of communication that isn't immediately apparent. For example, you provide two examples of being powerful enough to cause great harm to the natural world and people within it (#1 and #3.) I'm wondering if this power comes with a burden of responsibility -- for example, do you also feel that it's your fault that the world is in the state it is? Do you find yourself identifying with the state of suffering and pain in the world? Apparently this can be quite common in individuals going through psychosis.

I (personally) attribute it to a lack of ego barriers -- it can be difficult to figure out where you end or someone else begins during or in the aftermath of psychosis. As a result, there can be some confusion as to whose pain is whose, or whose thoughts belong to who. People can feel very vulnerable and open when they're in this kind of space. Sometimes they can be amazingly intuitive too! It might be helpful for you to know that. What you're feeling and experiencing right now might seem weird and unusual, but it's not so weird and unusual when it's placed within context. Other people going through experiences similar to yours have similar responses; within context, it's "normal under the circumstances". What can help is to restore the ego structure and the natural boundaries that come with it, but this takes time.

2. The aliens are after me. Can't figure out why though. I have their thoughts in my head and they tell me what to do all day long. Sometimes they tell me to "walk slow" or "go catatonic" but other times its far more dangerous like "jump in front of traffic" or "cut or kill yourself."

An "alien" is an "outsider" that has come "in" -- it can be compared to an invading force. Is it possible this is your mind's way of saying that you feel invaded and overwhelmed by this experience? A lot of people use metaphorical language to describe the experience of psychosis. This article might have some more insights for you: The Role of Metaphor

6. I am a psychologist- This one is a delusion and I only say this because I actually know more than some of the psychologists that I've been to and they admitted it!

Ha! That one doesn't count as a delusion because you know you're not really a psychologist -- it's more like you're cracking a joke and there's nothing wrong with a little humor. It's also a means of expressing that you believe you're intelligent. In other words, it's a means of expressing your sense of self-esteem.

12. There is also a personality who believes she's God.

Well... you know, a lot of religions tell us that we're part of something much larger whether they call it God, or the Tao or Buddha Mind or Christ Consciousness or something else. If you identify a part of yourself as being the equivalent of something divine and that's supposed to mean that you're delusional, you have to admit -- a lot of people share that delusion with you. Of course, the other possibility is maybe we do each have some divine aspect to our nature. Some form of religious experience is also a fairly common component of psychosis. Many people find this kind of "delusion" to actually be comforting or inspiring.

All of the above are just some different ways of examining what your "delusions" might actually be expressing about who you are and this experience you're going through. Some people don't like the idea of having "delusions" -- they want to make them go away. Other people find it helpful to explore them and find their meaning. You'll have to decide for yourself which method might work best for you.

[pachyderm]

My most challenging delusion is that the dangers that I perceived as a child still seem to me to be present.

I've found my delusions to be metphors also. I remember one time telling T that God has said its time for me to meet him. I am not a believer in my "rational" times.

T said that I was trying to find a way to escape the pain and only be with the good.

Simple but at the time its really scary and line I feel I must follow.