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Old 01-22-2018, 07:59 PM #91
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Default Re: Surviving Anhedonia

Thanks SP.
Last time i talked to my doctor she suggested i try Latuda but it's not generic and would cost me about $1,180 a month. She thinks something newer like that would help with my negative symptoms but I'm not hopeful...

The vortioxetine is different, but it seems to work similarly to an SSRI and give sexual dyfunction. The flood of Serotonin to my brain when i was on SSRI's was too much to bear, i felt nothing. I don't think this will work for me...

I just googled when latuda will be generic and a result said in 2018 so that's good news. That's one med i woul actually try. Abilify im afraid will give me side effects i couldn't live with. I already have a lot of trouble falling asleep...

I wish i could find out what exactly is causing my anhedonia... Why i reacted to SSRI's the way i did.
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Old 01-22-2018, 09:25 PM #92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Day Tripper View Post
Thanks SP.
Last time i talked to my doctor she suggested i try Latuda but it's not generic and would cost me about $1,180 a month. She thinks something newer like that would help with my negative symptoms but I'm not hopeful...

The vortioxetine is different, but it seems to work similarly to an SSRI and give sexual dyfunction. The flood of Serotonin to my brain when i was on SSRI's was too much to bear, i felt nothing. I don't think this will work for me...

I just googled when latuda will be generic and a result said in 2018 so that's good news. That's one med i woul actually try. Abilify im afraid will give me side effects i couldn't live with. I already have a lot of trouble falling asleep...

I wish i could find out what exactly is causing my anhedonia... Why i reacted to SSRI's the way i did.
The dysfunction is supposed to be lower than most ADs....and it directly activates some of the serotonin receptors which is supposed to kind of desensitize them and yet people come out happy anyway.


Iím thinking about asking for it for the cognitive and negative symptoms just not sure it will work with Abilify the way it works with latuda, itís also a new more expensive drug but Iíve got gold level insurance right now.....why not.
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Old 12-18-2018, 04:23 PM #93
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Default Re: Surviving Anhedonia

Hi @daytripper, I was wondering if you've had any success getting your emotions back?
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Old 12-20-2018, 04:59 PM #94
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Mem32, I haven't had any success getting my emotions back. My doctor did all she could do, working with me, to try all sorts of drugs and even getting off some. Nothing has changed, even when I was just on just Geodon at a low dose, which was the ultimate test, because when I first was ill and was put on Geodon it allowed me to feel my full weight of emotions.


I believe either Lexapro or Lithium damaged my brain and that's why I can't feel emotions. Lexapro really did a number on me, I went full rapid cycle acute depression with acute rage. It was horrible.


So anhedonia is a form of depression, which i think it should be a different category. I had to fight tooth and nail to get my negative emotions back like stress, anxiety, and I can feel sad, but mostly just in my stomach and sometimes it represents itself as just that my head feels like it's being weighted down.


My doctor's final recommendation to try and bring my emotions back was to try ECT, Electric convulsant therapy. I don't have the insurance that could pay for that though, also I'm a little uneasy about trying it.


When i was on an academic site for scientists I got a response from someone who was also trying to get her emotions back. I think she was put on an SNRI and boom, they all came rushing back. So there is hope! She just needed a little experimentation to find the right drugs.


J. K. Rowling had anhedonia for a time too. She penned the Dementors after her episode, which she described as thought all the happiness in the world had gone away, and leaves you with only your worst memories. But she got out of it, so there's that. If you have any questions I'll try to answer then.
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Old 01-01-2019, 11:37 PM #95
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I posted here but I don't remember anything. Nothing. My short term memory is really good but my long term memory is so terrible. It's fried almost completely. All I remember is a few pictures of the past. I don't remember vacations. Only a few pictures in my head comes to mind. Idk if that's normal.. Maybe it is. I know my dad has a bad memory but that's probably from drinking so much. I think I am this way because I'm in a house most of the time? I need to go outside in nature on acid.

The anhedonia has gotten better but I notice from an outside perspective, I have a really flat affect. I don't participate in conversation like I do when I'm psychotic. Of course, when not properly medicated, I pause in the middle of a sentence for like 10-15 seconds if someone lets me but what I'm saying in those moments are profound enlightened well put together but not very articulated thoughts but it seems like so.

I don't think as much as I do anymore. My cognition feels like it is impaired. It could be because of the Invega.. I want to stop taking it.. But I'll just go psychotic? I think it's worth a try.. I'm willing to give up my disability if I don't get psychosis.. but ****.. I guess I have to be on a low dose of antipsychotic regardless.. But this is too much.. I sit around, feed off of information and then tire out within an hour. I'm surrounded by love and family and they get it.. everyone sees potential in me but I don't know how well I'm going to do starting my anthropology class tomorrow.. I feel scared of everything without confidence.

Idk what those panic attacks were about but I never want them again so it gives me relief that it can be much worse. I can cry when I listen to a good song.. kind of.. but I think too heavy about things as if I have to concentrate on emotion and jinx myself.. It's like I need to change my thinking pattern.. I get songs stuck in my head sometimes so hard that it drives me nuts.. like last night.. I went to bed because I kept looking at circles in everything in letters and the time on my watch, when I look in the mirror, I focus on my pupil from far away like I see my soul. That's when I know I'm going into some sort of psychosis or a panic attack so I took the seroquel and felt better.

I want to be more spiritual and feel good when I listen to music. I've come to the conclusion of just saying "**** it" and going with the flow. Let the pieces of my cognition and memory fall while I walk and don't look behind, just to keep going. At least my brain has developed a lot more since I was 12. But I still feel numb. Scared that there's little information in my outside reality. I need stimulation and creativity.. which the invega kills.. so I take dextroamphetamine.. I can focus on it but I think it kills my creativity even more..

MDMA I will try in the future (When it's legal of course @ mod) 140mg. I've felt the magic. I know what it is. People that do it too much don't feel the magic anymore... they become anhedonic...

So I mean in 2019 no one has payed attention to people with anhedonia because it's rare. Depression isn't rare. But I feel like it's also not just brain chemistry but a product of society... social media, bullying in children.. in the workplace, driving home exhausted from work.. not getting anywhere in life.. bad marriage causing divorce and leaving children confused and then a step-parent comes in and maybe abuses them.. People trying to find meaning in life when in the past it was just about survival.. people getting offended by minor things because it's so easy for the middle class to relax if they can.. idk .. idk .... idk....

So that's my update. Doing better. I think.. I can feel music so that's good.
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Old 01-07-2019, 06:16 PM #96
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Default Re: Surviving Anhedonia

Have you ever tried st john's wort?

It inhibits dopamine, serotonine, norepinephrine, GABA and glutamate reuptake and has a mild MAOI effect (so you have more of everything), lower inflammatory responses and regulates the cortisol axis. I have found myself more driven to do things while taking it, even if emotionally I don't feel well. It doesn't cause sexual dysfunction as far as I know, It's totally different from any synthetic antidepressant.

It interacts with a lot of meds so if you want to try it you need to ask a doctor first.

Also, there is tianeptine that regulates the glutamate neurotransmission and has some opioid-like activity, It is not approved in all countries.

SSRI and AP caused me severe anhedonia while I was a teen, it took me 3-4 years to recover some normal emotions. Now my depression is "normal" depression (negative emotions) instead of absolutely nothingness about everything (actually, I think it is also the reason why I was so schizoid-like and never had any kind of interest towards my peers, sexual or social interest). I think I haven't fully recovered yet, I don't know if it is even possible since the damage was done while I was a teen.
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Last edited by OliverB; 01-07-2019 at 06:31 PM.
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Old 01-07-2019, 06:34 PM #97
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Default Re: Surviving Anhedonia

I'll ask my psychiatrist about St John's wort. Thanks brother.
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