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HopeToCope
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Default Jun 27, 2018 at 01:10 PM
  #1
My son, a schizophrenic, texts two girls from high school, one he likes and her friend, and believes they are responding yes or no answers, but they are not. This has been going on for 4 years or so. They have not changed their phone numbers, but have blocked his calls. When he is OK on meds, he keeps this to himself and doesn’t reach out to them in any other way. Occasionally, he has called them from a new temporary hospital stay. He isn't mean, but a bother, and of course this is scary for them. The girl he likes has filed another domestic personal protection order (for 4 yrs) and the other girl filed her first Retraining Order. In addition, he recently rode his bike to the university where the father works to talk to him. Then someone called from the university and said he is no longer allowed to come on the campus again. Also, there is a registered letter from the university that he needs to sign for as he just got out of the hospital. I don’t believe he has said anything mean because he believes there is a nice relationship with the girl and her family. The father has said in the past that our son is friendly, but his wife doesn’t want any family contact with our son. We aren't sure what to do because he goes off meds and sometimes the doctors try new meds that don't work. We usually wait until he is in bad shape (goes walking off for miles in dangerous areas, without water, or in the freezing cold without proper clothing) before we get him to the hospital. And of course, this delusion may not be completely fixable. The penalty for violating the Retaining Order, any contact, is jail up to a year. We don't feel this is appropriate, since he doesn't understand what he is doing. He has never hurt anyone. He tends to not defend himself, so the orders get put in place. He has spent weeks in jail, but no longer than that. The local judge is familiar that he has mental illness as he is the same judge that will OK any local hospital petition papers. I worry that our son will be spending a lot of time in jail in his life because it is so easy for the girls to file these forms and the judge has not allowed any defense after the order is in force. I think the girls need to change their phone numbers because he has never tried to find out where they live or work. Should my husband and I get custody to get a handle on the legal issues? Should we get an attorney to fight the new Restraining Order? What is the defense and what kind of lawyer do you get?
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Skeezyks
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Smile Jun 27, 2018 at 02:47 PM
  #2
Hello HopeToCope: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm sorry but I don't believe we here on PsychCentral are in a position to offer you legal advice. This is something you will need to get from an attorney where you live. If you are uncertain as to what type of attorney to contact, you might try calling your local Mental Health Association to see if they can offer any suggestions.

At least where I live, there is also a lawyers' telephone referral service one can call to find an attorney who would handle the type of problem the person has. Perhaps there is something similar where you live? Possibly there will be other members, here on PC, who will have had similar experiences they can share.

Here are links to 3 resources that might be of some help:

https://sardaa.org/

NAMI | Michigan's Voice on Mental Illness

https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-HelpLine

My best wishes to you & your family...

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Last edited by Skeezyks; Jun 27, 2018 at 06:11 PM..
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Default Jun 27, 2018 at 03:02 PM
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So my perspective as someone who’s experienced psychosis is that your son needs effective treatment...this may be in the form of an injectable medicine if compliance is an issue. The girls are well within their rights not to be bothered, even if he is nice I’m sure it’s scary for them. I hope you find effective treatment for your son.

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HopeToCope
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Default Jun 27, 2018 at 04:46 PM
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Do you mean a cure? He's been on injectibles. Prolixen was the best, but the doctors like to try the newer drugs. And the doctors don't consult one another. They keep re diagnosing him. He's been in the hospital over 10 times. He just has this delusion that they are getting and responding to his messages. He is not mean in his communication. I disagree that a year in jail is appropriate when they don't even have to change their phone numbers and can lie in wait for him to dial their numbers if they want. He has only seen the one girl twice in 8 years, once at a party where this whole thing started. Then once in court. She doesn't even have to show up. The other girl he hasn't seen in 8 years since high school. He doesn't know where they live or work and has never tried to find out. They aren't in our city and one is in another state. In this day and age, I think you have a responsibility to block calls, go private in social media, change your phone number, etc. He has never hurt anyone. He has lots of delusions. He can also be very normal and very nice. Most people think he is nice. They don't have a right to send a disabled person to jail when that disabled person is just a bother to them. That is my opinion. I prefer to say as the Students with Schizophrenia slogan says: I am a Schizophrenic, I am not a monster.
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Default Jun 29, 2018 at 08:44 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by HopeToCope View Post
Do you mean a cure? He's been on injectibles. Prolixen was the best, but the doctors like to try the newer drugs. And the doctors don't consult one another. They keep re diagnosing him. He's been in the hospital over 10 times. He just has this delusion that they are getting and responding to his messages. He is not mean in his communication. I disagree that a year in jail is appropriate when they don't even have to change their phone numbers and can lie in wait for him to dial their numbers if they want. He has only seen the one girl twice in 8 years, once at a party where this whole thing started. Then once in court. She doesn't even have to show up. The other girl he hasn't seen in 8 years since high school. He doesn't know where they live or work and has never tried to find out. They aren't in our city and one is in another state. In this day and age, I think you have a responsibility to block calls, go private in social media, change your phone number, etc. He has never hurt anyone. He has lots of delusions. He can also be very normal and very nice. Most people think he is nice. They don't have a right to send a disabled person to jail when that disabled person is just a bother to them. That is my opinion. I prefer to say as the Students with Schizophrenia slogan says: I am a Schizophrenic, I am not a monster.
I see...I’m sorry you haven’t been able to find something to keep him stable. Sometimes even with residual symptoms you can get cbt therapy to challenge delusions. As far as blocking calls, yes that’s what I would do first, but changing phone numbers in this day of cell phones seems unfair. Most people have had the same number for like twenty years. I too think jail is extreme perhaps they could just send him to hospital when this happens? Good luck in your quest for legal advice.

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Default Jun 29, 2018 at 06:07 PM
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My mental health lawyer, when I was in hospital involuntarily, also did criminal law. I think this was because both qualify for legal aid in the UK, so that might not be that common where you are, idk? I think that you definitely need legal advice though.

Whilst it might make your life easier if the girls just changed their numbers, it is within their rights not to, for whatever reason. I am confused though how them blocking his number hasn't stopped him contacting them?? I had a (kind of) stalker situation, but blocking his number stops him texting me and his phone calls go straight to voice mail. If I really wanted to stop the very occasional blank voice mails, I could contact my phone provider to have him totally blocked. I don't understand why they haven't done that, unless he is frequently changing his number to get around this??

You've had advice to contact a lawyer, and to increase/change meds, both of which are good suggestions. But sometimes meds don't work as well as we might hope. My suggestion would be to examine with your son what it is about these two girls and the relationship that he thinks that he has with them? Something is missing from his (real) life that he gets from this behaviour/the imagined relationship that they have. I wonder if building that into his real life will make him not need to contact these girls anymore?? Does he have a therapist that you could work with on this?

I hope that you can all find a way through this. Jail time seems really harsh given that he is clearly ill, and so I hope that you can all avoid that. Wishing you all the best

*Willow*
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