Roses Are Red🌹

I picked you a daisy 🌼
Wil you still love me
When you realize I'm crazy? 👻

Roses are red
Weed makes me feel,
like I'm not crazy but,
Psychic Spies are real.

My passion of medicine,
And all hope and ambition,
Goes down the drain,
It was my calling and my mission,
But don't have the right kind of brain.

I wanted to heal,
But my noble dream,
Came crashing down,
Due to my mind that is malnourished and ill.


Did the best,
Got yelled at, "Why don't you pass the test"
As if I had failed every test I had given,
But quite the opposite,
Passed every test I had given.

Parents said,
Be a clerk boy,
'Cause you ain't never gonna be successful,
I wonder in my mind,
Why they expect me to study twenty four hours a day,
I couldn't even lay my head.

Used to be a topper of science,
Used to be a topper of biology,
Despite my terrible upbringing,
Later realized I am crazy,
All grades became thin and hazy.

I wanted to be a doctor and do something for society. Not many people, including doctors, think saving lives makes a different in people's lives. But that was my philosophy, my hope, that I could do something. But nope, as long as I live in this dysfunctional family, my chances are pretty slim.... to get into med school.

So a couple of things....1 if you want to be a doc you can...I know mark Vonnegut, Kurt Vonneguts son was dxed with sz and became a doctor...later he felt it was bipolar not sz but he clearly had psychosis. I know of one other. I cannot remember his name.

So it’s doable but you’ve got to have long remissions the other thing to consider though is if you might accidentally hurt someone if you did become psychotic how would you feel if you accidentally put someone on the wrong meds for example. Why not go into medical research? If you cure a disease you can help even more people?

I know I can be a doctor, but the environment around me is very bad. My sister watches TV all day and night (the noise triggers my daydreaming and dissociation, as I used to do that too since I was a child) my parents think I am incompetent because of my illness, while I know if those stupid people support me I can be a brilliant student once again. But that's only in my wishful memory. Both are crazy. Mom overcooks food.. so much I weight 100kg yet I don't have subcutaneous fat on my ribs (I am malnourished.) They don't let me go outside....

While yes I think it's definitely possible for me to become a doctor, first I need to get my head around the entrance exam, but parents aren't exactly okay with me buying the books. Those delusional people think I am too incompetent for medical exam... while the truth is it is THEM who made me incompetent with their psychosis-neurosis spectrum. It hurts me, dad tells me "You require great talent to be a doctor" But he doesn't understand my talents or interest in human biology. I know I am talented, God, but only if they understood... not many 'untalented' people can top science class, and later manage to get very good grades in chemistry and biology. But parents drain my confidence, how was I supposed to crack a MEDICAL entrance exam like this?