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Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: Hattiesburg, Mississippi
Posts: 136
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#1
My life is in permanent ruins. People will tell me that its not but it IS.
I will never have a peaceful life or accomplish my dreams. I am a burden to everyone. I don't have family or friends. No one will miss me. people tell me to have faith but is something so imaginative worth the suffering of everyday of my life? I can keep fooling myself like things will get better but in reality it won't. There's no reason worth living. I can't do anything. I can't fight anymore. Schizophrenia is a death sentence. Period. I will never amount to anything. I hear that life has many good things to offer. But life isn't for me. How could I possible feel the world when my brain is damaged? It doesn't make sense?? I don't feel positive emotions only negative. I've been at this for many years, I haven't made any progress. I can barely take care of myself nor hold a decent conversation. Theres absolutely nothing that can be done. Suicide has to be the only option. That or continue to suffer until the day that I die. I wouldn't want anyone to suffer. Last edited by FooZe; Jul 06, 2018 at 03:18 AM.. Reason: added trigger icon, retitled thread |
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Anonymous40127, Anonymous40796, bpforever1, Loial, Lostraven13, mote.of.soul, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sometimes psychotic, SybilMarie, zoloft haver
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Crowned "The Good Witch"
Member Since Jun 2009
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 11,535
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#2
Be brave enough to fight one more day. I believe in you.
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mote.of.soul
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,126
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#3
Keep battling Jupi, please. Are there any mental health support groups you can attend? It could make a real difference.
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Member
Member Since Aug 2009
Posts: 456
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#4
I had a half dozen major episodes when I was in my 20's and also had a rather bleak outlook for the future. When I reached 30 the episodes stopped happening and I was able to have a fairly normal life after that. Others have came out of it also so it is not always a permanent condition.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
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#5
I am so sorry you feel this way and nothing is helping. Maybe hold on to the hope that medicine in psychiatry and understanding of these disorders will continue to improve, and one day soon something might help make it better?
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#6
Keep fighting please, Jupi I believe in you
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#7
I am a fellow brain damage patient. I am aiming for med school after finishing the prerequisite studies. It's probable I get selected. I don't see a reason to end my life despite it being a living hell. I keep fighting. I have many problems with the family I live in. There's no other option. Darwin called life "struggle for existence."
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,905
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#8
Are you able to go to a php or iop program? Most of them have psychiatrist that can change your medications more rapidly. What are your dreams? If they require college degree you can go part time (2 classes a semester) and get your AA/AS in 5 years and your BA/BS in ten years. I know that sounds like a long time but in reality it's not and you're slowly working towards your goal. They are also coming out with new drugs all the time. One may work better for you then the current ones do. Those are just some ideas.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#9
I've commited life suicide twice because of my illness. First when I called the cops and affirmative action on my professors, and they took me seriously, and another time when I was too ill to pay my bills. I find that if I accept my problems, and tell them soon to my pdoc, then I get better very quickly and things are on the up and up again. I find it amazing how something as small as a new song can change my perception on things sometimes. Also, how a passion can help.
Because I ruined my academic career, I had to lean on my trade as a painter, which is very convenient since I can perform it simply by muscle memory. Maybe you could get a job like I have and work your way up slowly. I know that if I can just keep my job then everything will be okay. All I have to do is show up to fight. I'm kind of shooting in the dark seeing the world through my eyes though. What are your problems? You say you have trouble with family and friendships which is common in schizophrenia. One tiip that helps me is to help a friend or family whenver they ask, that way they can help you when you need the help unexpectedly. Also, try to learn a new joke every day. That way people will gravitate towards you as you lighten their day up. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
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#10
I’m not sure my opinion will be valued or accepted. I understand that.
If you view suicide as your only option, you can make the decision to perhaps move to a state or country that believes in euthanasia or suicide assistance. I’m guessing it might take some time, loop holes, paperwork etc, but it would provide maybe some answers you seek. __________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: earth
Posts: 2,063
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#11
To the op, are you sure your medications are working or need to be changed? I felt like you once and wanted to end it many times. However, I survived and am doing well now. Please tell your doctor about your current feelings and mood. Your doctor should realize something is wrong and do something for you. Also, if you feel so bad that you feel like harming yourself, please go to the emergency room and get checked into the hospital. This may be the best solution for you to have a team of people and doctors look at your situation carefully and assess whether you need a change in your medications or treatment. Please hang in there!! Life is a roller coaster and a journey, not a destination. Your current situation will pass and hopefully one day you can look back and realize how far you've come. You are also precious and valuable to others. You were not born into this world all alone. You have family and others who care about you. Thus, please don't think you are not worth it. You are! Don't give up and seek help from the right people. 1. Emergency Room 2. Your doctor/ therapist 3. Family members
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: earth
Posts: 2,063
6 1,598 hugs
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#12
Also, schizophrenia is difficult to live with. I have it too. However, once you find the right medication, then life is worth living. So, please seek help from the right people. You are not alone in your battle. We are all warriors here and comrades. You are seeking help here which is good but you need to find medications and treatment that help you in the long term rather than suffer by yourself.
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2015
Location: Philadelphia PA.
Posts: 1,291
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#13
Please keep up the good fight. You may be doing a mental filter. That is you might be minimalising or disregarding the positives in your life. Maybe if you won't accomplish your goals make new ones that you can accomplish. Perhaps a support group to find new friends. There are famous people with schizophrenia, Do a Google search. Take little steps. Please don't discount yourself.
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
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#14
I was first diagnose with schizophrenia. It was changed to schizoaffective. Now it's been changed to bi-polar with psychosis. To me it's a blessing and a curse. I have been allowed to pursue my dreams my blessing, I have a weakness my brain the curse. Thankfully meds work well for me. Keep trying you will find one that works well for you. Than you will feel almost back to your normal self.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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New Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: ny
Posts: 2
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#15
@Jupi, Hi. I'm sorry to hear how much you are hurting. I know that everything seems bleak and hopeless right now, but this is when I need you to hang in there. What you feel, what you hear, think, isn't everything. There are people here who's been where you are and we can understand your anger, your pain and suffering. But we made it through that dark tunnel, taking one small step at a time and we found small happiness, small blessings on the other side. You are not hopeless and your condition is not a death sentence. We human are magnificent, resilient beings! You can see that in people who overcome unbelievable adversities. So, don't give up on yourself! They overcame all odds, their doubts, their fears and now their lives inspire us.
We want to be here for you. Please don't give up. You can lean on us for now. Here's someone who overcame incredible adversity in his life. I hope he helps you see your own life from a different perspective. bit.ly/2HiWmfi |
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New Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: ny
Posts: 2
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#16
I saw this quote and I thought of you today, "We should not give up and we should not allow the problem to defeat us" Abdul Kalam
We will be not be defeated as long as we get back up and take another step in the right direction. The storms of life may knock us down, but we shall pick ourselves back up and keep walking, oftentimes, crawling... As long as we don't give up, we will not be defeated... |
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Anonymous40127
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
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#17
How have you been feeling lately??
__________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
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