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stayingafloat
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Default Aug 30, 2018 at 05:02 AM
  #1
Seems very clear to me all along. People alr known who i am and they are out to provoke me with their mockery and seek amusement out of it.

When i was walking past a train station, several people looked at me and started behaving weirdly, one of them strutted on purpose, the other with a smirk looking towards me. When i entered the train, a group of teenagers started laughing, i feel emotionally triggered and then when i walked away from them, i saw another group of guys started laughing near me.

It seems that wherever i go, people would laugh. I feel like my world is collasping and about to snap at them at any moment. I think i should arm myself to protect against them. They know i'm paranoid so they will start directing their words and behavior towards me in a non confrontational way. They know my bad past and they are looking to exploit every weakness they know i have.

I just cant control how i feel towards these people and their actions.
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Skeezyks
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Smile Aug 31, 2018 at 11:39 AM
  #2
I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find a path to deep peace within...

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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meetlaw
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Default Sep 11, 2018 at 11:18 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Namelessness View Post
Seems very clear to me all along. People alr known who i am and they are out to provoke me with their mockery and seek amusement out of it.

When i was walking past a train station, several people looked at me and started behaving weirdly, one of them strutted on purpose, the other with a smirk looking towards me. When i entered the train, a group of teenagers started laughing, i feel emotionally triggered and then when i walked away from them, i saw another group of guys started laughing near me.

It seems that wherever i go, people would laugh. I feel like my world is collasping and about to snap at them at any moment. I think i should arm myself to protect against them. They know i'm paranoid so they will start directing their words and behavior towards me in a non confrontational way. They know my bad past and they are looking to exploit every weakness they know i have.

I just cant control how i feel towards these people and their actions.
I can empathize with you. I feel like people outside my apartment are looking at me. At least I can take refuge in my parent's house.

Do you have some sort of crisis center you can stay at when you are feeling bad?
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