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Old 01-02-2019, 09:02 PM #1
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Default Leaving someone with schizophrenia

This is the first time I have ever done anything like this. My husband has schizophrenia. Why is that sentence so terrifying? 6 years later and I still get chills when I hear this. My husband was the love of my life. We were happily married for 5 years when he first started showing symptoms. I didn't want to face it at first. An army of doctors countless blood test endless googling until after the birth of our first child finally convinced me. He was so cold and distant. That should have been the happiest time of our life. But no..he grabbed the camera out of my hand as I was taking pictures of the car ride and deleted what he could while driving. I was in such a state of shock and fatigue I didn't know what to do. He finally got his diagnosis when my daughter was a month old and things got better. Until his sister died..then it was almost like a light switch got turned off. I woke up one night to him praying over us..this was not like him. He would spend hours upon hours outside smoking. Again..back to the doctor..a new round of antipsychotics I had to battle with every night. In my mind thought he was better once it could happen again. It lasted about six more months until his first hospital visit. Caught him out in the cold 18 degree snow we just had with nothing but a pair of shorts on. I can't even count now how many visits it has been. Now he has been on so many meds the doctors have basically even gave up. He walks around cussing at himself and talking to no one..but swears it's not him doing it. The mani loved is gone..and will never be back. I don't know how many nights I've fell asleep praying for him to heal..some nights praying for him to sleep. My own six year old daughter even asked me the other day when is daddy going to get better? Why is daddy cussing again? Or dadd yelled at me again
I am through. I've done every thing I can. I'm so emotionally exhausted and physically exhausted I can no longer handle anything. I cant even leave my children qith him. And i have to work extra shifts just to make ends meet because he cant hold a job. He didn't ask for this but neither did I. I may be cold now but years of this will change anyone. And now I've just found out drugs are involved. He has failed a drug test for meth. have to leave. I feel my kids happiness is at stake as well and safety. But i will always love him that's the part that hurts the most. The guilt sinks in to and the worry over who will take care of him. How bad this is going to hurt him.i know how i never thought when I said I do that meant being his legal guardian. Has anyone else been in this situation?
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Old 01-03-2019, 07:36 AM #2
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Default Re: Leaving someone with schizophrenia

Having a schizophrenia is the most difficult thing in the world, I think. Sometimes everything goes wrong no matter how much love you try to give. I don't know if there's anything else you can do: I have a boyfriend, and he's schizophrenic, but it's too impossible to compare him to your love because schizophrenic people are really different from each other. A schizophrenic boy is in psychiatric hospital because he is unaware of his illness and very dangerous for himself. He's adorable, but it's impossible for him to get out. And my little love has an appartement for him and he is fine overall. They're very different and yet both schizophrenic. Your love needs help of course, and he is not a bad person: so why not talk about the possibilities of this situation? Maybe psychiatric hospital (I don't really like psychiatric hospitals) or something else that's possible. Or talk to him to see what could help him? A schizophrenic alone will never be better than a schizophrenic surrounded by even one person. Courage to your and your family.

I hope I'm not hurting, it's a difficult situation. ):

Last edited by Abyssanctum; 01-03-2019 at 08:28 AM.
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Old 01-03-2019, 08:07 AM #3
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Default Re: Leaving someone with schizophrenia

do what you gotta do. you have kids involved and the best thing you can probably do is leave for the sake of the kids.
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Old 01-03-2019, 09:25 AM #4
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Default Re: Leaving someone with schizophrenia

https://forums.psychcentral.com/part...ivers-support/

You may want to try posting in this section.....s and p is mostly people who have sz themselves. Iím also going to say that drug induced psychosis is an entirely different thing than sz and his docs may have been misled into categorizing him sz. Medicines typically work for sz without drugs or alcohol.

I guess Iím concerned on how you plan to leave. Does he have disability like ssdi It sounds like he would qualify although you might have to apply on his behalf. Since youíre married I suspect they would garnish your wages for his support in the event of a divorce so itís to your benefit to get him some independent income. Talk to a lawyer about what to do, Iím not sure legally that you arenít obligated to care for him in some way...ie itís not like you can just pack up and walk out without being negligent.
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Old 01-03-2019, 09:34 AM #5
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Default Re: Leaving someone with schizophrenia

I know there will be people who will cite "for better or for worse". Well, you have been living the worse and its too much. He is a danger to your kids at the very least. All the cussing and yelling are not good for them no matter what the cause. And the meth drug test has me wondering how long that has gone on. Meth psychosis can be similar to schizonphrenic symptoms and I am not sure, but I believe that long term meth use can damage some things in the brain which could lead to long term illnesses. JMO. You have tried. I do not think marriage should be a sentence. Despite it all you deserve happiness too. Just make sure you have all your ducks in a row and protection. He may becomes violent. I would get everything you need to leave, even if you have to take things somewhere a little at a time and do not tell him you are leaving until you've left and gotten somewhere safe. After that whether its divorce proceedings you need to have an escort at the house if you need to get stuff. I also think you need to go to the police and apply for an order of protection and report him. Does he have any guns in the house? He should not have access to them. If you plan on asking him to leave have law enforcement at the ready.
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:47 PM #6
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Default Re: Leaving someone with schizophrenia

I have a psychotic disorder and I'm the child of schizophrenics. Save your child. There is care for your husband through mental health services. You are all your baby has. Anyone who has never had a parent this ill, you can't know what it's like to grow up steeped in the psychoses of others. When reality is obliterated and all you know are the hallucinations and delusions of others, your life is forever changed. Reality is forever changed. I wish you well.
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