I can't fight three posting this any more

i am so cold

this house feels like a freezer

Couple more songs before I go out to work:

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I loved these as a teenager

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There's another one as well but I can't remember the title and I need to head to work

I remember I got introduced to this band in the immediate aftermath of losing my grandad I wanted another CD (Eminem) but my grandma couldn't get it so got the one with these songs on by a1 instead and I fell in love with these songs and one more by them. I'll find the other song after work and post it, not got time now

okay I managed to find it just now:

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I need to get to work now.

whispershadow

I never understood this disney scene when I was little but I understand it now from taking Ebony *there* for the final time

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My already broke heart broke even more finding this

It's fast approaching a year ago that you became so poorly, sweetpea, it still hurts so much

February you was taken ill and you was to and from the vet and then end of febuary you started having those fits/shakes and the vet tried to save you but that thing had likely reached your brain according to the vet

I wish I could of swapped places with you, you never deserved it to end like that you deserved to be tucked up in your lovely warm bed, not lying on a blanket at the vet - or worse - lying on the streets like you very nearly did - you could of gave up out there but you tried every single day and I just hope I did enough to help you, my sweetpea

You never deserved what those scumbags did to you when you was trying to survive on the streets with your kittens, your only "crime" was wanting to survive and look after your kittens, most of them never made it and you yourself was nearly lost before you'd even found out what having one caring human there for you felt like

I'll always love you and I still miss you

Trying to self soothe with disney music again:

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This scene that I put some of in my signature always breaks me

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I keep imagining me as being Chance and Ebony being Shadow on Ebony's last day

Ebony sweetpea this is going to be us both together when we're together again forever, the part where Shadow makes it home

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One day I'll see you again and I promise once we're reunited we'll never be parted again

Whisper

Had a rough day, three's been a complete arse all day and it's not helped by the fact it was a quiet day so I didn't have much distraction from three's arsey comments

Annnnd I finished work finally ......... old girl (car) wouldn't start first time, then even after starting she took a bit of coaxing to get moving then she objected to going under the barrier to get out of work's car park (she hates that barrier for some reason, stalls under it every single time)

This has been my day: YouTube

Going to self soothe with more disney music YouTube

*sings tunelessly* "in a jam in a scrape and you think no escape" lalalalalala I can't get the words right

Whispershadow

I wish I could be the person everyone wants me to be

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Whisper

I want to turn this around

shh whisper missing Ebony this much is inappropriate so shut up.

Listening to this on repeat to try and help myself feel a bit better YouTube

"When it gets cold and it feels like the end there's no place to go you know I won't give in"

Whispershadow, is there anything we can do to help you? What do you need to feel better? Would it help if we reminded you of some coping skills or tools?

I just need to feel safe and I currently don't feel safe, there's the very real threat again of a certain person starting up a certain behaviour again, I cannot post what this is about cause having it public here could put me in real danger irl

I wish someone would "find" me

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